The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Massive Attack]

I hope Blowers is right and they chuck Bethell in now. Would be the kind of introduction that makes him and maybe ignites us in to giving it a proper go in the 3rd Test. 

[onsideman]

I keep hearing that Crawley has been persevered with because his style of batting suits Australian conditions. 

If this is the case, then surely if the 3rd test is lost, it'll be time to say,' the experiment failed, off ya trot Zak go earn a shilling in franchise cricket' No point keeping him on if he fails in the one place he's been groomed to succeed. Hope I'm wrong and he goes out and smashes 150 plus but if he was going to look like a genuine test opener,he would have done so by now?

Before the series started I said that Crawley would probably get a double hundred... but that if he did it would be an irrelevant innings in a dead rubber test

[only1billybonds]

I keep hearing that Crawley has been persevered with because his style of batting suits Australian conditions. 

If this is the case, then surely if the 3rd test is lost, it'll be time to say,' the experiment failed, off ya trot Zak go earn a shilling in franchise cricket' No point keeping him on if he fails in the one place he's been groomed to succeed. Hope I'm wrong and he goes out and smashes 150 plus but if he was going to look like a genuine test opener,he would have done so by now?

[Takashi Miike]

[Eerie Decent]

As we've seen so far, all out pace hasn't really been what's needed on current Aussie pitches. The irony of us in the past going there with Broad & Anderson, neither of whom were naturally suited to their pitches of old, they'd have a field day now.

The only chance we've got of salvaging some pride is sticking Potts in for some control, and Tongue with the hope that he is on point, along with Archer he's the most talented bowler we have.

Those digging into Smith, have to realise that he has never played a pink ball game in his life, and he's up against a team who are the best with it. He looked good in the 1st Test first innings, and got a peach of a delivery in the second, he will be a top batsman but he shouldn't have the gloves, I said that before the series started, but it's too late to change that.

Duckett I also said would probably struggle down there, but he has plenty of credit in the bank. Brook needs to have a proper rethink about what he's doing, ignore the pillock about RUNNING TOWARDS THE DANGER and just bat naturally, aggressive but when the time is right. Stokes probably has the best defensive technique in the side, and will really have the bit between the teeth now, so I'd move him to 3, Pope is absolutely shot to bits. They aren't going to change Crawley after he made some sort of score, but they need to change something, so I'd go with..

Crawley
Duckett
Stokes
Root
Brook
Smith (wk)
Bethell
Jacks
Potts
Archer
Tongue

Bethell & Jacks at 7&8 could be a bit game changing. Desperate times, so we need to do something a bit different. Expect the same team though, with maybe Tongue replacing the Saffa the only change.

Makes sense. I do worry about Potts from consistency perspective but he does tend to pick up wickets. I’d probably leave Atkinson in and drop Carse for Potts. 

Yeah, but he's the best bet in the current conditions down there i reckon. Not necessarily against Atkinson staying in instead of him, but I'd definitely change Carse for Tongue. He gets good batsmen out, and he's also the best bowler we have against the tail, by a distance.

It's all very much slim pickings, though.

[southbankbornnbred]

Yeah, Atkinson and Carse must feel under threat. Atkinson has not bowled that well at all by his standards. But with all of the bowlers, it's hard to tell if it's a case of stupid Baazball tactics (mindlessly asking all your bowlers to bang it in short of a length) and whether they'd do better when freed from the tyranny of that stupidity.

Archer, Atkinson, Tongue, Carse, Potts - they're all decent bowlers. But, as with the batsmen, the leadership have to give them their best chance of succeeding. Can't say I've seen much of Fisher.

It's a case of "make do and mend" for the rest of this tour. They have massively over-invested in the tactical cult. But the tour is full of players who can't really play a more disciplined way (not right now, anyway). Just try to drill home that being back in the dressing room within 30 overs isn't a sign of success - however many runs you've scored.

[Django]

As we've seen so far, all out pace hasn't really been what's needed on current Aussie pitches. The irony of us in the past going there with Broad & Anderson, neither of whom were naturally suited to their pitches of old, they'd have a field day now.

The only chance we've got of salvaging some pride is sticking Potts in for some control, and Tongue with the hope that he is on point, along with Archer he's the most talented bowler we have.

Those digging into Smith, have to realise that he has never played a pink ball game in his life, and he's up against a team who are the best with it. He looked good in the 1st Test first innings, and got a peach of a delivery in the second, he will be a top batsman but he shouldn't have the gloves, I said that before the series started, but it's too late to change that.

Duckett I also said would probably struggle down there, but he has plenty of credit in the bank. Brook needs to have a proper rethink about what he's doing, ignore the pillock about RUNNING TOWARDS THE DANGER and just bat naturally, aggressive but when the time is right. Stokes probably has the best defensive technique in the side, and will really have the bit between the teeth now, so I'd move him to 3, Pope is absolutely shot to bits. They aren't going to change Crawley after he made some sort of score, but they need to change something, so I'd go with..

Crawley
Duckett
Stokes
Root
Brook
Smith (wk)
Bethell
Jacks
Potts
Archer
Tongue

Bethell & Jacks at 7&8 could be a bit game changing. Desperate times, so we need to do something a bit different. Expect the same team though, with maybe Tongue replacing the Saffa the only change.

Makes sense. I do worry about Potts from consistency perspective but he does tend to pick up wickets. I’d probably leave Atkinson in and drop Carse for Potts. 

[Eerie Decent]

As we've seen so far, all out pace hasn't really been what's needed on current Aussie pitches. The irony of us in the past going there with Broad & Anderson, neither of whom were naturally suited to their pitches of old, they'd have a field day now.

The only chance we've got of salvaging some pride is sticking Potts in for some control, and Tongue with the hope that he is on point, along with Archer he's the most talented bowler we have.

Those digging into Smith, have to realise that he has never played a pink ball game in his life, and he's up against a team who are the best with it. He looked good in the 1st Test first innings, and got a peach of a delivery in the second, he will be a top batsman but he shouldn't have the gloves, I said that before the series started, but it's too late to change that.

Duckett I also said would probably struggle down there, but he has plenty of credit in the bank. Brook needs to have a proper rethink about what he's doing, ignore the pillock about RUNNING TOWARDS THE DANGER and just bat naturally, aggressive but when the time is right. Stokes probably has the best defensive technique in the side, and will really have the bit between the teeth now, so I'd move him to 3, Pope is absolutely shot to bits. They aren't going to change Crawley after he made some sort of score, but they need to change something, so I'd go with..

Crawley
Duckett
Stokes
Root
Brook
Smith (wk)
Bethell
Jacks
Potts
Archer
Tongue

Bethell & Jacks at 7&8 could be a bit game changing. Desperate times, so we need to do something a bit different. Expect the same team though, with maybe Tongue replacing the Saffa the only change.

[Westside]

"It's about giving yourself your best chance of beating them."

Even when they do, they stuff up. Remember Adelaide 2006? England got 551 - 6 (declared) batting first. And lost.

 

[southbankbornnbred]

Wood going home would be a big blow if we had been in the series - but we're not.

When fully fit (which is rare) he bowls well down under. One of the few bowlers who rattled the Aussies on a previous tour. Another England quick whose test career has been ruined by injuries.

[Takashi Miike]

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Mark Wood will miss the rest of the Ashes & fly home
End of his Test career at his age I’d expect

Josh Hazlewood also won’t play in this Ashes
Reckon that’s him done in Test cricket with his ongoing injuries 
Imagine he will play 2 or 3 years of white ball & rack up a few million from the IPL

In the wise words of Cilla 
Suprise susprise

[Fauxstralian]

Mark Wood will miss the rest of the Ashes & fly home
End of his Test career at his age I’d expect

Josh Hazlewood also won’t play in this Ashes
Reckon that’s him done in Test cricket with his ongoing injuries 
Imagine he will play 2 or 3 years of white ball & rack up a few million from the IPL

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Geoffrey with his customary 70 in 7 hours .
 Geoffrey ..you're a cսnt 

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Concerned with the run rate ?
Nope

[southbankbornnbred]

Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.

That will fade over time, though, as it did with Botham, Hussain and Atherton etc.

As his ex-teammates retire, he’ll get more critical. He’s also getting used to being a pundit. Agnew and others started out piss poor. You grow into it.

He wears a double breasted suit pal ..

Ag ag ag! That’s a fair point!

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Just as well call it now, 5-0 Australia 

Against a bog  standard convict scratch side.

I have respect for the likes of the 90s players like Stewart/Hussain/Atherton/ etc because they were up against  great Aussie sides ...and I mean great.

Alec Stewart /Pope  at 3 ...you choose.
Mike Brearley  was county league level as a opening batsmen for the Middle.. but was one the  Middle's  and England's best skippers because he knew how to man manage...clever man.
Brearley  would have skippered a squad   to victory against this Aussie squad

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

fav comment on this video........

"It seems to me that the captain and coach have created a cult rather than a cricket team."



much like the oddballs that still worship that jock minge

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Well an innings defeat has been avoided but the only thing that will fill yesterday's ( and Perths) cracks is a repeat of Headingly 81. 
Be the biggest shock in cricket history if it gets even close to happening.

I listened to a few cricket podcasts yesterday and all the pundits/ex pros said the same thing. Australias 9/10 and 11 showed a greater understanding of whats needed in their situation than our lot could only dream of. The team isnt ( mentally) match fit and we are getting destroyed by what is a bang average test side. England's predicament isn't about talent, its a lack of discipline and in game management.

And to think Cummins and Lyon have yet to feature in this series.

And yes, I'm a fucking idiot. Despite what i said yesterday, my alarm was set for 4am. The Mrs suggests i get tested for some sort of disorder and its very hard to argue against that.

Well put billy son...more refined and classy than I could ever dredge up

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Not sure what is worse
Trescothick saying they didn’t discuss whether driving on the up on Australian pitches was a good idea
McCullum saying they prepared TOO much for this Test

Not doing themselves any favours & presume that goes down like a cup of cold sick amongst people who have paid thousands to fly out to watch them

Trescothick will be flying back to blighty with the shits before Sydney ...I reckon.
Another fanny

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Whilst the current side are a pile of massive excrement, it's hardly like more traditional approaches have been that successful in Australia. In the last 4 series in series Australia, weve lost 2 series five nil, one four nil. The 2010/11 slaughter of the convicts being the notable exception. After each dicking from the convicts there is an inquiry, investigation,by the ECB, call it what you will, to ensure no repeat the next time. Only there is.

 

True. But that's more of a reflection of the fact that it's hard to beat Australia in Australia. For any touring side. The Aussies have an excellent home record - like we do against them (we haven't lost a home series to them since 2001).

It's about giving yourself your best chance of beating them. And almost nobody outside of the Bazbubble believes that playing Baaazball gave England their best chance of winning in Australia. They're too gnarled, too experienced and not intimidated by England's aggressive play.

The 2010/11 side was an exceptional team. But they also showed that, to win down under, you have to grind out runs and wear down the Aussie bowlers. Occupy the crease for long periods, keep them in the field for long, hot days and then bowl with real discipline (as well as aggression) - often on a good length. It's hard work and not something that can be got around by playing like a t20 side.

There's just no evidence that that playing at 100mph with the bat, wafting at everything outside off stump and trying to score 250 in 30 overs - and then banging in every ball short of a length - was going to work down there? It's just mindless, ineffective guff. Magic beans.

The bowling attack we were up against in 2010/11 was mainly Siddle, Hilfenhaus and a low on confidence Mitchell Johnson. From memory Ryan Harris only played a few of the Tests, he was a proper bowler, but all round it was a very ORDINARY attack. That said, it probably was the best prepared team we've ever had.

I'm not completely against the idea behind Bazball, and early into it, it was what was needed as we'd been pathetic for a couple of years. But this thing about players not having accountability and not being in any danger of being dropped has been a fucking disaster. I've been saying this on here for years, and said it before this series, Crawley & Pope at 1 & 3 is a crime to Cricket, they both live off the odd huge score, sandwiched between the worst form ever seen for players with over 50 tests.

We have some outrageous talent, but telling them to RUN INTO THE DANGER at every opportunity has completely fried their minds. It's wasting the proper talent, like Brook & Smith, who if the batted to suit conditions, would be proper test players. Even Pope, who really should have the gloves and be batting 6, could be a top player in that role.

Playing for England shouldn't be seen as a jolly up, it's akin to national service - they are on these tours to do a job, win test matches. If the previous regimes haven't done any better results wise, then by all means try something different, but this slinging the bat baseball style, no matter what the match situation, is mental.

The tragedy is that we have the talent to have gone down there and beat them. A huge wasted opportunity.

" Outrageous talents"...really..?
Not in Test Cricket that's for sure ..spineless bunch of brainless mummy's boys is all I see.
The Jamaican strolled into the gabba on  day 3 with a PILLOW for fuck sake.

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.

That will fade over time, though, as it did with Botham, Hussain and Atherton etc.

As his ex-teammates retire, he’ll get more critical. He’s also getting used to being a pundit. Agnew and others started out piss poor. You grow into it.

He wears a double breasted suit pal ..

[Eerie Decent]

Whilst the current side are a pile of massive excrement, it's hardly like more traditional approaches have been that successful in Australia. In the last 4 series in series Australia, weve lost 2 series five nil, one four nil. The 2010/11 slaughter of the convicts being the notable exception. After each dicking from the convicts there is an inquiry, investigation,by the ECB, call it what you will, to ensure no repeat the next time. Only there is.

 

True. But that's more of a reflection of the fact that it's hard to beat Australia in Australia. For any touring side. The Aussies have an excellent home record - like we do against them (we haven't lost a home series to them since 2001).

It's about giving yourself your best chance of beating them. And almost nobody outside of the Bazbubble believes that playing Baaazball gave England their best chance of winning in Australia. They're too gnarled, too experienced and not intimidated by England's aggressive play.

The 2010/11 side was an exceptional team. But they also showed that, to win down under, you have to grind out runs and wear down the Aussie bowlers. Occupy the crease for long periods, keep them in the field for long, hot days and then bowl with real discipline (as well as aggression) - often on a good length. It's hard work and not something that can be got around by playing like a t20 side.

There's just no evidence that that playing at 100mph with the bat, wafting at everything outside off stump and trying to score 250 in 30 overs - and then banging in every ball short of a length - was going to work down there? It's just mindless, ineffective guff. Magic beans.

The bowling attack we were up against in 2010/11 was mainly Siddle, Hilfenhaus and a low on confidence Mitchell Johnson. From memory Ryan Harris only played a few of the Tests, he was a proper bowler, but all round it was a very ORDINARY attack. That said, it probably was the best prepared team we've ever had.

I'm not completely against the idea behind Bazball, and early into it, it was what was needed as we'd been pathetic for a couple of years. But this thing about players not having accountability and not being in any danger of being dropped has been a fucking disaster. I've been saying this on here for years, and said it before this series, Crawley & Pope at 1 & 3 is a crime to Cricket, they both live off the odd huge score, sandwiched between the worst form ever seen for players with over 50 tests.

We have some outrageous talent, but telling them to RUN INTO THE DANGER at every opportunity has completely fried their minds. It's wasting the proper talent, like Brook & Smith, who if the batted to suit conditions, would be proper test players. Even Pope, who really should have the gloves and be batting 6, could be a top player in that role.

Playing for England shouldn't be seen as a jolly up, it's akin to national service - they are on these tours to do a job, win test matches. If the previous regimes haven't done any better results wise, then by all means try something different, but this slinging the bat baseball style, no matter what the match situation, is mental.

The tragedy is that we have the talent to have gone down there and beat them. A huge wasted opportunity.

[Far Cough UKunt]

Yeah you won the fucking test and the ashes probably, so quit with the sniping you vainglorious plastic Aussie cսnt.

[Fauxstralian]

Not sure when the Barmy Army started but recall it was when England were getting regularly hammered when Australia had a good team so I guess they are used to defeats
Obviously this time the expectation was higher against Dads Army that didn’t have a top order. 

As terrible as the cricket has been I’m sure most will still prefer to be in Australia in December on holiday than in England chuntering about Keir Starmer only triple locking their pensions instead of doubling them