The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[BerlingtonBertie]

Fraser was the Oz version of David Blunkett. So not sure had bottle top glasses in his Steven Hawkings ride on can make judgement on cities. Probably people kept away from him as so AIDS and thats why he was deported back to Blighty

[fraser]

Take it it's shit then?

To be fair it's a lovely city and there are great beaches there, aesthetically it's good.. It's just really quiet and boring. Spent a long weekend there and the streets are literally empty. 

If you're holed up in Perth you don't stay there.  You go to Fremantle or Cottesloe or Scarborough... or even Rottnest. Or fuck off to Margaret River

I went to Freemantle.. Quite a few places in fact... Perth is just too quiet..

Feet so what if you've been to Melbourne and visited I lived there for 13 years had some close friends who were Mancs and ill take the word of someone who lived in both cities. 

[onsideman]

I'm not impressed with the way we've prepared at all but nobody should have to spend a month in Perth 

Take it it's shit then?

To be fair it's a lovely city and there are great beaches there, aesthetically it's good.. It's just really quiet and boring. Spent a long weekend there and the streets are literally empty. 

If you're holed up in Perth you don't stay there.  You go to Fremantle or Cottesloe or Scarborough... or even Rottnest. Or fuck off to Margaret River

[twoleftfeet]

TNT is an embarrassment, the fact a cycling commentator is leading it shows how shit it really is.

[twoleftfeet]

Melbourne = Manchester

Perth every time for me. 

You've clearly never been to Manchester or Melbourne 

Been to both places you fucking bell end.

[Perry Nium]

Melbourne = Manchester

Perth every time for me. 

You've clearly never been to Manchester or Melbourne 

Oddly, when I last went to Manchester in about 1987, my first thought was that it reminded me of Melbourne.. Not sure why, because they are very different, and Melbourne is several times larger.

[fraser]

Melbourne = Manchester

Perth every time for me. 

You've clearly never been to Manchester or Melbourne 

[twoleftfeet]

Melbourne = Manchester

Perth every time for me. 

[fraser]

Melbourne weather is shit at the moment... Wouldn't fancy being over there boxing day watching the cricket...

16c forecast for Friday. England should feel at home. A week ago it was 38c.

I'd definitely prefer the 38c, been to a few cold boxing days at the G... Not great with a Christmas hangover and only mid strength beer for a hair of the dog! 

[Perry Nium]

Melbourne weather is shit at the moment... Wouldn't fancy being over there boxing day watching the cricket...

16c forecast for Friday. England should feel at home. A week ago it was 38c.

[fraser]

Ha ha
Described the grandad raver to a tee it seems
How are your false teeth these days after grinding your teeth to the gums?

Ha I don't have any... Grandad raver, don't have grandkids.. The majority of ravers are around my age and I'll tell you what they all look younger and fitter than those of the same age who are sitting about being old.. It's great for the fitness. 

[Far Cough UKunt]

Plastic Aussie cսnt trait 

[Fauxstralian]

Ha ha
Described the grandad raver to a tee it seems
How are your false teeth these days after grinding your teeth to the gums?

[Fauxstralian]

It would have been perfect for the England cricket team
Bars, golf courses & a massive casino at Crown for Bryden C Arse 

[fraser]

Would have been good acclimatisation to the weather & pitches

More useful than watching the Melbourne rain & clubbing with drugged up toothless old English migrants dancing to mindless repetitive music wearing sandals & socks 
Though I understand the leader of those bogans was deported 

Sounds like you're talking about yourself Sven son, is that how you roll toothless and wearing sandals with socks, that's a very Aussie trait. 

Because you're supposedly describing Brits and you are one, but you'll know as well as I do there's a lot more toothless scag  and crackheads in oz. 

[fraser]

I'm not impressed with the way we've prepared at all but nobody should have to spend a month in Perth 

Take it it's shit then?

To be fair it's a lovely city and there are great beaches there, aesthetically it's good.. It's just really quiet and boring. Spent a long weekend there and the streets are literally empty. 

[Massive Attack]

I'm not impressed with the way we've prepared at all but nobody should have to spend a month in Perth 

Take it it's shit then?

[Fauxstralian]

Would have been good acclimatisation to the weather & pitches

More useful than watching the Melbourne rain & clubbing with drugged up toothless old English migrants dancing to mindless repetitive music wearing sandals & socks 
Though I understand the leader of those bogans was deported 

[fraser]

I'm not impressed with the way we've prepared at all but nobody should have to spend a month in Perth 

[Fauxstralian]

For a start England should have cancelled the white ball tour of NZ and arrived in Perth a month before the First Test
Ended up playing a knock up game against the Lions at a suburban ground at Lilac Hill
The WACA was being used for the Western Australia v Queensland Sheffield Shield game but was free the week before
Even if the pitch at Canberra was different to Brisbane a d/n game there might have meant some useful catching practice under lights before they caught abysmally at Brisbane.
Every decisions seems to have prioritised golf over cricket

Effectively have a squad of 35 with the Lions following them around but brought one specialist spinner (if that’s the right term for Bashir) & only two openers.
Their spare batsman Bethell has never scored a century & hardly played last summer as he trailed around with the squad and was released for ONE county game. Hopefully he can borrow a bat for Boxing Day

[Takashi Miike]

it's strange hearing that these runs/exercise sessions were optional. that, for a start, encourages laziness and piss taking. the ecb need to sack that twat in charge, I don't care if it's "a long tour"," they're away from their family", "they're under immense pressure" bollocks. most of the pressure, negativity is self induced by how bad they've been. and the behaviour/drinking culture of past tour teams was a different era, they should be more professional now, especially when every cսnt's recording/reporting your every move

[fraser]

Melbourne weather is shit at the moment... Wouldn't fancy being over there boxing day watching the cricket...

[Westham67]

Our best bowler out, I worry about Bethel being thrown into this mess with potentially 100,000 spectators watching on

[Fauxstralian]

A couple of preparation items:
McCullum responding to criticism of the Noosa break said it had been organised a year ago
At the beginning of October, 6 weeks before the tour England didn’t have a bowling coach. Dale Steyn was contacted but was otherwise engaged

[Massive Attack]

Bethell should have been played in the line-up in the last test.