Amazon Search and Bookmark
AFFILIATE SEARCH | Shop Amazon.co.uk using this search bar and support WHO!

Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

West Ham Online's Football Forum
Post Reply
User avatar
stubbo-admin
Posts: 1693
Old WHO Number: 12009
Has liked: 335 times
Been liked: 769 times

Taty Castellanos Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post stubbo-admin »

Signed, Sealed. Delivered. 

5 year contract (until he's 32!!).  26m + Add Ons.

Welcome Taty.  Good Luck!
Castellanos2Stats.png
CastellanosStats.png
THUNDERCLINT
Posts: 1337
Been liked: 315 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post THUNDERCLINT »

From I'd photo I saw earlier he looks more like Fatty Castlemane XXXXL.
User avatar
El Scorchio
Posts: 4021
Old WHO Number: 227648
Has liked: 224 times
Been liked: 1146 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post El Scorchio »

We needed (need) help at both ends of the pitch. We were way short up front (and still are on the left flank) and way short at centre back. Fixing both was or is paramount. We may well stem the goals if Todibo gets a good CB partner. I think he'd work well with a big bruiser type. A Dunk or Tarkovsky. Doesn't even have to be a particularly skilled or cultured player. Just a big nasty fucker who is going to shout at everyone and needle the opposition. You know- exactly what Kilman should and could be.
theaxeman
Posts: 77
Has liked: 33 times
Been liked: 19 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post theaxeman »

eusebiovic wrote: 08 Jan 2026, 12:35
theaxeman wrote: 08 Jan 2026, 12:32 Wilson is probably still the best striker on our books.
Despite the fact his knees are shot to pieces as well as his hamstrings 😂
Haha yea! Maybe proved wrong. The thing is had he played more I think we'd be closer to Forest. Personally think Nuno had been a disaster.
it seemed clear to me that we are weakest at centre back, yet we've spent 50 mil on 2 untried, in the Premier league at least, forwards. We got a few goals but couldn't defend our leads.
eusebiovic
Posts: 570
Old WHO Number: 15391
Has liked: 1058 times
Been liked: 199 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post eusebiovic »

theaxeman wrote: 08 Jan 2026, 12:32 Wilson is probably still the best striker on our books.
Despite the fact his knees are shot to pieces as well as his hamstrings 😂
theaxeman
Posts: 77
Has liked: 33 times
Been liked: 19 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post theaxeman »

Wilson is probably still the best striker on our books.
simons
Posts: 171
Has liked: 127 times
Been liked: 103 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post simons »

Yeah they looked ok, from what we saw.

Shame the bloke who caused Forest all sorts of problems last time round, was nowhere to be seen…..
eusebiovic
Posts: 570
Old WHO Number: 15391
Has liked: 1058 times
Been liked: 199 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post eusebiovic »

This Taty lad was prolific in the MLS but that is an overvalued league that lacks real quality other than ex-superstars in their dotage.

I hope he can help us but it doesn't look likely.

There are lads playing in our National League who could comfortably hold their own against the rest of the chaff in the MLS - regardless of the fact you need to stump up 1billion dollars to join the closed shop in the first place.



 
Eerie Decent
Posts: 1206
Has liked: 203 times
Been liked: 564 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Eerie Decent »

They both looked alright. Neither of them has the thing the whole side badly lacks, though.

And they certainly won't keep us up.
User avatar
Massive Attack
Posts: 7336
Old WHO Number: 321955
Has liked: 4229 times
Been liked: 2234 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Massive Attack »

Cambiron wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 23:30 Thought he looked OK. Not sure Pablo is any good though. 
Pablo looked more threatening that he did with a lot less minutes on the pitch.
Cambiron
Posts: 10
Been liked: 4 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Cambiron »

Thought he looked OK. Not sure Pablo is any good though. 
eusebiovic
Posts: 570
Old WHO Number: 15391
Has liked: 1058 times
Been liked: 199 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post eusebiovic »

Mad Dog" wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 23:18 Far cough

"sácame de aquí"  (Im learning spanish)

Dont know how "the fuck" would be translated in thia contest 

Dut I do know "me cago en la lecce" ia how spanish would express "fuck jt"  it translates for some reason to "i shit in the milk"
Sácame de este carajo - would probably be the best translation literally  "Get me out of this shithole"

Carajo usually gets used to express dismay as it means fuck or also used to convey shithole/hell 
Mad Dog
Posts: 2421
Old WHO Number: 10053
Has liked: 238 times
Been liked: 395 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Mad Dog »

Far cough

"sácame de aquí"  (Im learning spanish)

Dont know how "the fuck" would be translated in thia contest 

Dut I do know "me cago en la lecce" ia how spanish would express "fuck jt"  it translates for some reason to "i shit in the milk"
eusebiovic
Posts: 570
Old WHO Number: 15391
Has liked: 1058 times
Been liked: 199 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post eusebiovic »

Does anyone think this guy and Pablo Phil have been signed with a view to next season in the Championship? 

 
User avatar
El Scorchio
Posts: 4021
Old WHO Number: 227648
Has liked: 224 times
Been liked: 1146 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post El Scorchio »

Far Cough UKunt" wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 23:04 What's get me the fuck out of here, in Spanish?
He MUST be thinking that. What have I gotten myself into?
User avatar
Far Cough UKunt
Posts: 1958
Has liked: 514 times
Been liked: 825 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Far Cough UKunt »

What's get me the fuck out of here, in Spanish?
User avatar
Massive Attack
Posts: 7336
Old WHO Number: 321955
Has liked: 4229 times
Been liked: 2234 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Massive Attack »

Wilson even at 33/34yo up top over him all day long in this clinical ruthless League.
User avatar
El Scorchio
Posts: 4021
Old WHO Number: 227648
Has liked: 224 times
Been liked: 1146 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post El Scorchio »

I thought he looked like he wanted it far more than most of the others and did what he could. Tried to hold a high line and get the others forward. He’s surround by utter shit though. Utter utter shit. 
eusebiovic
Posts: 570
Old WHO Number: 15391
Has liked: 1058 times
Been liked: 199 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post eusebiovic »

Yet again spunking 25m on a player with no obvious sign of any notable pace...

Looks earnest and puts a shift in but so did Trevor Morley and he was a bargain.
Eerie Decent
Posts: 1206
Has liked: 203 times
Been liked: 564 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Eerie Decent »

twoleftfeet wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 22:44
Eerie Decent" wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 22:42 As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.

Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.

a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
One game? Fucking hell. I thought we would give them a few games to settle in. 
Yes, one game, numerous clips, and from what pretty much everyone has said about him who has regularly seen him play in the past.

I'm not slagging him off, I've not said he's shit, I'm saying he's average.

We need a miracle, you pleb, and this player is not that. £25mil for a short striker who has no real pace, with a below average scoring record. What's the fucking point?
User avatar
Massive Attack
Posts: 7336
Old WHO Number: 321955
Has liked: 4229 times
Been liked: 2234 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Massive Attack »

His boots are shaped like 50p pieces. Still can't get over that effort that landed to him plum in the box first half only to shank it back to where it came from out wide with no one near him. 😅 What is it about us spunking away £25M on Striker dross. He did run about a bit, I'll give him that damning by faint praise.

Both Mendes and Nuno have absolutely seen us coming...
twoleftfeet
Posts: 2718
Old WHO Number: 214368
Has liked: 113 times
Been liked: 595 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post twoleftfeet »

Eerie Decent" wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 22:42 As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.

Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.

a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
One game? Fucking hell. I thought we would give them a few games to settle in. 
Eerie Decent
Posts: 1206
Has liked: 203 times
Been liked: 564 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Eerie Decent »

As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.

Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.

a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
User avatar
stubbo-admin
Posts: 1693
Old WHO Number: 12009
Has liked: 335 times
Been liked: 769 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post stubbo-admin »

Nutsin wrote: 06 Jan 2026, 14:20 Some cսnt will kick him up in the air and he’ll come down with a season ending injury if he’s any good.

It’s the West Ham way.

We still need a center back or two and we still haven’t replaced Declan.

Until we address these 3 positions we will continue to leak too many goals.

As for a keeper that remains a concern but we can’t expect to fix everything this window, can we?
IMO Declan is irreplaceable.  A genuinely world class talent who currently looks the best player in the league give or take.  A talisman, do everything, covr for others deficiencies midfielder.

We've replaced him...Magassa, Alvarez, Fernandes....trouble is none of them are fit to lace his boots.
Nutsin
Posts: 3025
Old WHO Number: 274983
Has liked: 201 times
Been liked: 356 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Nutsin »

Some cսnt will kick him up in the air and he’ll come down with a season ending injury if he’s any good.

It’s the West Ham way.

We still need a center back or two and we still haven’t replaced Declan.

Until we address these 3 positions we will continue to leak too many goals.

As for a keeper that remains a concern but we can’t expect to fix everything this window, can we?
Sir Alf
Posts: 3023
Old WHO Number: 10229
Has liked: 40 times
Been liked: 573 times

Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos

Post Sir Alf »

Apparently a relentless worker who never gives up. That will have the rest of the players confused.
Post Reply