Amazon Search and Bookmark
AFFILIATE SEARCH | Shop Amazon.co.uk using this search bar and support WHO!

THE joke threads (part 5)

Forum area for all things that are non-football.
Forum rules
Whilst 'off-topic' means all non-football topics can be discussed. This is not a free for all. Rights to this area of the forum aren't implicit, and illegal, defamator, spammy or absuive topics will be removed, with the protagonist's sanctioned.
Post Reply
Mad Dog
Posts: 2252
Old WHO Number: 10053
Has liked: 161 times
Been liked: 280 times

THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Mad Dog »

Usual rules apply
Nutsin
Posts: 2675
Old WHO Number: 274983
Has liked: 166 times
Been liked: 283 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Nutsin »

"Mirkwood, ag ag ag ag!"
ted fenton
Posts: 465
Old WHO Number: 213137

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post ted fenton »

2020 The year my bin went out more than me !!!!
Mirkwood
Posts: 2

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Mirkwood »

"Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stout. Barman asks, ""What's wrong with Stout?"" Bloke says, ""I had 12 pints of Stout last night and when I came round I was fucking skint."" Barman says, ""12 pints of anything costs about the same."" Bloke replies, ""Skint's my dog."""
Coffee
Posts: 2551
Old WHO Number: 211839
Been liked: 1 time

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Coffee »

jfk 12:35 Thu Jun 25 :-)
jfk
Posts: 260
Old WHO Number: 225167

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post jfk »

"LDLLWLLL , I thought this was a place in Wales but turns out its West Ham's form."
mtchammer
Posts: 0
Has liked: 3 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post mtchammer »

"Government expected to announce that as from July 4th West Ham players will be permitted to visit other teams penalty areas for short periods providing they pose no threat to the opposition. It hurts, but tbf it is funny. Tweet by well known Millwall fan, Danny Baker."
User avatar
Mike Oxsaw
Posts: 4730
Location: Flip between Belvedere & Buri Ram and anywhere else I fancy, just because I can.
Old WHO Number: 14021
Has liked: 33 times
Been liked: 590 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Mike Oxsaw »

Rice Krispies - 3 white dudes having fun. Coco Pops - a single monkey with no one to talk to. Kellogs - your throat has my knee's name on it.
Aalborg Hammer
Posts: 117
Location: Hampshire
Old WHO Number: 19748
Been liked: 13 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Aalborg Hammer »

They say a womans work is never done. I wonder if that's why they get paid less.
lab
Posts: 1095
Old WHO Number: 220636
Been liked: 1 time

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post lab »

Lol x 2
geoffpikey
Posts: 683

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post geoffpikey »

Haha. * Quack Lives Matter
Aalborg Hammer
Posts: 117
Location: Hampshire
Old WHO Number: 19748
Been liked: 13 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Aalborg Hammer »

"So this duck goes into a pub just after opening time and orders and pie and a pint. The landlord says ""We don't get many ducks in here,are you local?""ù The duck says ""No,I've just started work on the building site over the road,new estate going in,should be here for a while""ù So,the duck appears at the same time every day and orders a pie and a pint. One hot summers afternoon,a man turns up wearing a top hat,tail coat and holding a bullwhip. ""Two pints of cold lager please-that's thirsty work""ù ""What's that then?""ùsays the landlord ""We've just put up the Big top,the circus is in town for a week or two""ù ""Circus,you say?? I have a talking duck come in here every lunchtime""ù ""A talking duck?That's unusual ""ì here's my card,get him to give me a call""ù Next day,the duck comes in ""Pie and a pint""ù ""Talking about you yesterday with the ringmaster of the circus,it's in town for a while.He seemed to think he could some work yor way""ù ""A circus ?? Trapeze acts,clowns and lion tamers??""ù ""Yes""ù ""What the fuck would a circus want with a plasterer?""ù"
boleyn8420
Posts: 188
Old WHO Number: 18131
Has liked: 5 times
Been liked: 24 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post boleyn8420 »

Oh and speaking of the Americans why do they call it eggplant when all of the rest of us call it chicken
boleyn8420
Posts: 188
Old WHO Number: 18131
Has liked: 5 times
Been liked: 24 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post boleyn8420 »

"America is having a hard time of it at the present, it's almost like its built on an old Indian burial ground or something"
User avatar
Mike Oxsaw
Posts: 4730
Location: Flip between Belvedere & Buri Ram and anywhere else I fancy, just because I can.
Old WHO Number: 14021
Has liked: 33 times
Been liked: 590 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Mike Oxsaw »

You can tell the Kings Cross...
joyo
Posts: 738
Old WHO Number: 10598

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post joyo »

I can't STANMORE of these jokes and if l do I'll nut someone on the TEMPLE
Jim C
Posts: 10

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Jim C »

You can Bank on the applause!
the coming of gary
Posts: 346
Old WHO Number: 14200
Has liked: 77 times
Been liked: 91 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post the coming of gary »

did the commuters clapham ? .
The Stoat
Posts: 462
Old WHO Number: 12863
Been liked: 7 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post The Stoat »

A man who has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground said he went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour
ted fenton
Posts: 465
Old WHO Number: 213137

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post ted fenton »

"THE APPLICATION OF THE WORD ""BOLLOCKS"" FOR THE NON - BRITS .......... THE ( DOG'S ) BOLLOCKS - BRILLIANT/THE BEST BOLLOCKS - SHIT UTTER BOLLOCKS - LIES BOLLOCKING - STRONG REPRIMAND STARK BOLLOCK NAKED - NUDE BOLLOCKS TO IT - I SHALL IGNORE IT"
Queens Fish Bar
Posts: 69
Old WHO Number: 210561

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Queens Fish Bar »

"At Confession: ""Bless me Father for I have sinned. My boyfriend shagged me seven times last night""ù ""You must go home and suck the juice from seven lemons""ù ""Will that absolve me?""ù ""No but it'll take that smug look off your face""ù."
Jasnik
Posts: 383
Old WHO Number: 10048
Has liked: 3 times
Been liked: 29 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Jasnik »

I thought I had corona virus as people said you lose your sense of taste. Then I realised I was OK as it was only the salmon kipper tie I was wearing.
User avatar
Lee Trundle
Posts: 3757
Old WHO Number: 33318
Been liked: 720 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Lee Trundle »

It's awful news that Dele Alli was robbed at knifepoint in his own home. A load of watches and jewelry were nicked but they didn't make it off with any medals.
User avatar
Mike Oxsaw
Posts: 4730
Location: Flip between Belvedere & Buri Ram and anywhere else I fancy, just because I can.
Old WHO Number: 14021
Has liked: 33 times
Been liked: 590 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post Mike Oxsaw »

"After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I know walking by on the pavement outside. I immediately ran to the window and started shouting at them. Now I understand dogs."
eswing hammer
Posts: 83
Old WHO Number: 14597
Has liked: 1 time
Been liked: 2 times

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post eswing hammer »

"Will Smith has defied stay at home and gone off snowboarding in Canada, he hasn't been seen for 24 hours and with even more snow forecast ,they're gonna look again tomorrow for fresh prints!"
geoffpikey
Posts: 683

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Post geoffpikey »

Bad news. The Flat Earth Society are reporting that the 2 metre social distancing measures are pushing some of their members over the edge.
Post Reply