New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"In the town that is known as Stroud, There once lived a virgin, so proud. But she lost her treasure In a moment of leisure opened thighed her brother she allowed Braverman, Coffey and Dorries Embittered old bags, sacked by Tories"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young supporter of Millwall, In bed all day, all day doing fuck all. Now. Try to not scoff The wheels of his home both fell off And now it's a little less tall. In the town that is known as Stroud, There once lived a virgin, so proud."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young supporter of Millwall, In bed all day, all day doing fuck all. Now. Try to not scoff The wheels of his home both fell off And now it's a little less tall. In the town that is known as Stroud, There once lived a virgin, so proud."

[arsene york-hunt]

"We now have Lord Cameron of Hogshead Who's Foreign Secretary instead There are those who scoff, At this Etonian toff. But others who think him well bred. A young supporter of Millwall, In bed all day, all day doing fuck all."

[Helmut Shown]

"Gary Lineker has got some front It's virtue-signaling to be blunt, But slightly more class Than that Braverman arse who seems a bit of a cսnt We now have Lord Cameron of Hogshead Who's Foreign Secretary instead"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The battle between left and the right, Is far more like handbags than fight. All of these pricks, Their party politics, Most of these shitbags aren't too bright. Gary Lineker has got some front It's virtue-signaling to be blunt,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"At the Lido a bloke called Reg, Was flashing his meat and two veg. My, how they did cackle At his small wedding tackle So he disappeared behind a hedge. The battle between left and the right, Is far more like handbags than fight."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl called Carolina Wanted a designer vagina It just had to be Plastic surgery, But the surgeon said she was a minor"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Supporting this soap dodgers' lark He made his way down to Hyde Park, And so full of spite, The old anti-semite Corbyn's lost none of his spark. At the Lido a bloke called Reg, Was flashing his meat and two veg."

[Helmut Shown]

Supporting this soap dodgers' lark He made his way down to Hyde Park The pants of this fellow A browny shade of yellow And the gusset has a large skid mark A young girl called Carolina Wanted a designer vagina

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An old Irish drunkard called Nick, Had shit himself when in public. A dump on the go Is woke, don't you know? Expressing yourself as not thick. Supporting this soap dodgers' lark He made his way down to Hyde Park"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The explosion of watery turds Was just like a flock of blackbirds On the porcelain a mass Like a Pollock canvas, Too revolting to put into words. An old Irish drunkard called Nick, Had shit himself when in public."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A bloke living near us named Jake Showed kids his one eyed trouser snake When the dirty old nonce Would get no response He grabbed it and gave it a shake The explosion of watery turds Was just like a flock of blackbirds

[arsene york-hunt]

"That debacle we went through last night Our manager was not very bright By the time we scored, I was so fucking bored, To tell you the truth we were shite. A bloke living near us named Jake Showed kids his one eyed trouser snake"

[Helmut Shown]

On the border of old Mexico A tenner will get you a ho But the slapper mayhap Will give you the clap And off to the clinic you'll go That debacle we went through last night Our manager was not very bright

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A rozzer once out on the beat, Approached by a girl of the street She said, 'Can I munch on Your firm trouser-truncheon In your panda, on the backseat?' On the border of old Mexico A tenner will get you a ho"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man used to flog his arse'ole In bushes near Jack Straw's Castle Up close to his bowel The stench was quite foul A bit like old fish in a parcel. A rozzer once out on the beat, Approached by a girl of the street,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Football was the best of my joys Til we got those cunts Allardyce and Moyes But it's not much fun, Watching kick and run, And all the rest is just noise. A young man used to flog his arse'ole In bushes near Jack Straw's Castle"

[Helmut Shown]

"Brought to A & E by a chum, Said "" A carrot's stuck up my bum” I made the excuse It wasn’t self abuse I slipped on some chewing gum Football was the best of my joys Til we got those cunts Allardyce and Moyes"

[Helmut Shown]

"I said at the bar ""Rum and coke"" The barmaid said ""Do you fancy a poke?"" She said “I feel so randy, It’s making me bandy And it’s giving my gusset a soak Football was the best of my joys Til we got those cunts Allardyce and Moyes"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I said at the bar ""Rum and coke"" The barmaid said ""Do you fancy a poke?"" I said yes and, no fibs, She prodded my ribs, Thinking it was quite a good joke. Brought to A & E by a chum, Said "" A carrot's stuck up my bum,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a girl from Turnham Green, Starred in films that were quite obscene. All done on the tube, Butt-fucked with no lube While monkeys were flicking her bean. I said at the bar ""Rum and coke"" The barmaid said ""Do you fancy a poke?"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"After shaving she developed a rash Ruining the look of her gash Should have just let it grow, Looks much better, you know, But a problem when having a slash. There was a girl from Turnham Green, Starred in films that were quite obscene."

[arsene york-hunt]

"After shaving she developed a rash Ruining the look of her gash Should have just let it grow, Looks much better, you know, But a problem when having a slash. There was a girl from Turnham Green, Starred in films that were quite obscene."

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a tramp in Kilkenny Who went by the name of Fat Benny He smelt pretty shitty But nobody gave pity In Ireland, he’s one of many After shaving she developed a rash Ruining the look of her gash"