New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Blokes in girls clothes will be happy, Labour say we must call them she They think they are chicks But women don’t have dicks They even sit down to pee He had glasses like Mr Magoo Went into the wrong bog to poo"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He went for a swim in a river But was hit in the face with a brown sliver. Emitting a foul stench Not shit or dead tench, But a rotting piece of pig's liver. Blokes in girls clothes will be happy, Labour say we must call them she"

[Helmut Shown]

"A misogynist man called Will, Decided to join the old bill. On a full life term For injecting his sperm In a woman he tried to kill He went for a swim in a river But was hit in the face with a brown sliver"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bent referee called Bobby Had a face like house-elf Dobby His contorted face Of lines and grimace, Like someone squeezing a jobby. A misogynist man called Will, Decided to join the old bill."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bent referee called Bobby Had a face like house-elf Dobby His contorted face Of lines and grimace, Like someone squeezing a jobby. A misogynist man called Will, Decided to join the old bill."

[Helmut Shown]

"The Upminster perv is awake, He's hunting for kids he can take He carefully pushes his binoculars through the bushes His perverted appetite to slake A bent referee called Bobby Had a face like house-elf Dobby"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an OAP in a wheelchair, Who lived in poverty without a care, But, unlike this fool, Knows the limerick rule, On scanning and rhyming - so there! The Upminster perv is awake, He's hunting for kids he can take"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an OAP in a wheelchair, Who lived in poverty without a care, But, unlike this fool, Knows the limerick rule, On scanning and rhyming - so there! The Upminster perv is awake, He's hunting for kids he can take"

[joyo]

"The worst thing to happen today, Was letting that twat have his say, His name is Oxbore the Tranny, As he's not interested in fanny, Only cock as he's an old fat gay. There was an OAP in a wheelchair, Who lived in poverty without a care,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Wilf Used to spy on his next door MILF. From behind the hedge, He saw meat and two veg, So leaped up and screamed ""Dirty filth!!!"" The worst thing to happen today, Was letting that twat have his say."

[Helmut Shown]

"When you go down Lambeth way, Any evening, any day Keep an eye out for muggers And assorted tree huggers And don't show you're openly gay There was a young man called Wilf Used to spy on his next door MILF"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady from Greenwich Who lived on a diet of spinach, Her belief was wrong, That it made you strong, She once gave head to Gordon Greenidge. When you go down Lambeth way, Any evening, any day"

[Helmut Shown]

"The Haka the dance they say, From the All Blacks is really gay Not quite orthodox Standing grabbing their cocks While doing some kind of ballet There was a young lady from Greenwich Who lived on a diet of spinach"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As he stood preaching God’s word He was hit from above by a turd, The words: ""Let him, Without any sin......"" From a ghostlike voice was heard. The Haka the dance they say, From the All Blacks is really gay"

[Helmut Shown]

The train was about to depart Then the sound of a very loud fart It caused a stampede From the vile smelling deed As somebody fell clutching their heart As he stood preaching God’s word He was hit from above by a turd

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man from the Virgin Isles, Discovered a treatment for piles. Involved stinging nettles, Hot water from kettles, Then sitting on very cold tiles. The train was about to depart Then the sound of a very loud fart"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Cuba Spent all day playing the tuba, Thinking of his Maria, Her welcoming rear, As his fingers gently lube 'er. A young man from the Virgin Isles, Discovered a treatment for piles"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Cuba Spent all day playing the tuba, Thinking of his Maria, Her welcoming rear, As his fingers gently lube 'er. A young man from the Virgin Isles, Discovered a treatment for piles"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Cuba Spent all day playing the tuba, Thinking of his Maria, Her welcoming rear, As his fingers gently lube 'er. A young man from the Virgin Isles, Discovered a treatment for piles"

[Helmut Shown]

"While waiting to board a long flight, The man saw a terrible sight. In the airport vestibule A man held his tool Wanking in broad daylight There was a young man from Cuba Spent all day playing the tuba"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Most people thought he was bonkers A fifty year old man playing conkers The couldn't help stare At the groupies stood there, All players got fucking great stonkers. While waiting to board a long flight, The man saw a terrible sight."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Hants Whose hobby was sniffing girls pants. One day he recoiled A pair was so soiled Looked like a sketch of Rembrandt's Most people thought he was bonkers A fifty year old man playing conkers

[arsene york-hunt]

"He lived near the river Liffey But couldn't control his stiffy, ""Oh fuck it"" He'd shout, Then whip his knob out, He usually came in a jiffy. There was a young man from Hants Whose hobby was sniffing girls pants."

[Helmut Shown]

"Oh bollocks A distraught tearful Israeli man, Said ""Should have gone to *Birobidzhan."" ""This stuff wasn't seen When at Golder's Green Now my dream move has gone down the pan"" He lived near the river Liffey But couldn't control his stiffy"

[Helmut Shown]

I once knew a woman who'd choose Nothing but sensible shoes Everywhere she'd go Often on tiptoe To avoid the pavement dog poos He lived near the river Liffey But couldn't control his stiffy