New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke from Virginia Water Arrested for shagging his daughter The judge gave him time He regarded his crime Was slightly less than manslaughter Gyles Brandreth the pompous old turd Would be better unseen and unheard

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will the team now be changing its style Will we attack more than once in a while? If we can't keep the ball, Chances? there'll be fuck all And watching will still be a trial. A bloke from Virginia Water Arrested for shagging his daughter"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Nang King, Fed up with his work in banking For his next pursuit As a male prostitute But only with those of high ranking Will the team now be changing its style Will we attack more than once in a while?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl from Mevagissey Her knickers always smelt pissy, Hadn't changed for a week, Despite a urine leak, Saying that she was too busy. There was a young man from Nang King, Fed up with his work in banking"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Chinaman Ooo Flung Dung, Got up on the stage and sung His singing so fine When he sung Led Led Wine Many thought in a foreign tongue A young girl from Mevagissey Her knickers always smelt pissy"

[northbanker]

"Today we defeated our hosts And laid down many of our ghosts, Was a difficult session With not much possession, Top of the league now our team boasts. A Chinaman Ooo Flung Dung, Got up on the stage and sung"

[Helmut Shown]

There was man from Salamanca Split up with his wife amid rancour He called her a slag 'cause after a shag He developed a very large chanchre Today we defeated our hosts And layeid down many of our ghosts

[arsene york-hunt]

"When at home behind closed doors She slips down her lacy drawers Then shoves in her minge A whole Jaffa orange, A banana, and three apple cores. There was man from Salamanca Split up with his wife amid rancour"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady called Pam, Pulled open the lips of her clam Her beau licked the gunge That dripped from her clunge When he’d finished she told him to scram When at home behind closed doors She slips down her lacy drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She showed him her fanny, well shorn It gave him a fucking great horn She made it an issue, When he came in her shoe, As she lay there eating popcorn. There was a young lady called Pam, Pulled open the lips of her clam"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"After promises in the season preambles English refereeing is a shambles ""What we want to see,"" ""Is controversy,"" A quote from a pundit who rambles. She showed him her fanny, well shorn It gave him a fucking great horn"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Brighton supporter name Jools, Subsisted by sucking men's tools Rampant skullduggery And later some buggery Very close to primary schools After promises in the season preambles English refereeing is a shambles"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Brighton supporter name Jools, Subsisted by sucking men's tools Rampant skullduggery And later some buggery Very close to primary schools After promises in the season preambles English refereeing is a shambles"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Jewish man dealing in furs Was robbed on his way to watch Spurs, It was a bitter pill, As the scum lost two nil, He's now reflecting on weltschmerz.* *look it up. A Brighton supporter name Jools, Subsisted by sucking men's tools"

[Helmut Shown]

"A plane has been shot from the skies, We await now Putin's next lies. No fall from a block Or planted Novichok In murder he diversifies A Jewish man dealing in furs Was robbed on his way to watch Spurs"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Rennes Seduced herself with a pen. She was largely unseen, Stimulating her bean. She got off the tube at South Ken. A plane has been shot from the skies, We await now Putin's next lies."

[Helmut Shown]

"A Frenchman from near to Toulon, Upset when his libido'd gone He took Viagra and Cialis To stiffen his phallus Now it sticks out like a baton There was a young girl from Rennes Seduced herself with a pen"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was a girl from Calcutta Lubricated her anus with butter, Hundred rupees a poke, On the same knobs she'd choke, Her conduct was fit for the gutter. A Frenchman from near to Toulon, Upset when his libido'd gone"

[Helmut Shown]

"In the back rows at the flicks, She liked taking out blokes dicks For the price of a tub She’d give it a rub For a choc ice she’d pull down her knicks There once was a girl from Calcutta Lubricated her anus with butter"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A shepherd out watching his flock Would keep his day's lunch in a sock.. Some cheese (Leicester Red). Some fresh crusty bread, And a big slice of boiled ham hock. In the back rows at the flicks, She liked taking out blokes dicks"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man who comes from Curacao, Did unnatural things with a cow. He taught it to fly, Right up to the sky, But nobody really knows how. A shepherd out watching his flock Would keep his day's lunch in a sock.."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man who comes from Curacao, Did unnatural things with a cow. He taught it to fly, Right up to the sky, But nobody really knows how. A shepherd out watching his flock Would keep his day's lunch in a sock.."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was a man with a duck Who found himself down on his luck, His wife wore no Drawers She was Diana Dors Whose real name was Diana Fluck. A man who comes from Curacao, Did unnatural things with a cow."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I said to a bunch of rent boys, I didn't from them hear much noise. Not easy to sob, With a mouthful of knob, While beaten by someone called Moyes. There once was a man with a duck Who found himself down on his luck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Those dago tarts do like a dive Laying poleaxed like they’re no longer alive Though I'm not a knocker, But birds playing soccer, I'd sooner go out for a drive. I said to a bunch of rent boys, I didn't from them hear much noise"