New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Bloke tried to talk football with me, Ignored him, Plastic manc you see I’ve no suitable words For these know nothing turds Next week they’ll support Chelsea Those dago tarts do like a dive Laying poleaxed like they’re no longer alive"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The cheats in our league seem to thrive 'Cause referees can't see a dive, ""Experts"" say it's cute, Something I'd refute To Keep top clubs in Europe they strive. Bloke tried to talk football with me, Ignored him, Plastic manc you see"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man up before the beak, Was desperate to have a leak. While stood in the dock He whipped out his cock And shook off the drips with a tweak The cheats in our league seem to thrive 'Cause referees can't see a dive"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Nice Arrested for flashing by the police, Thought himself out of reach, being on a nude beach, While ejaculating on his niece. A young man up before the beak, Was desperate to have a leak."

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a virgin* from Leigh* Who sat with her love 'neath a tree. He fancied his chances Then made his advances But she said "" I'm going for a pee"" There was a young man from Nice Arrested for flashing by the police"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man from Peru put his hand down to unblock a loo But what he dragged out It measured about, Three furlongs by chains thirty two. There once was a virgin* from Leigh* Who sat with her love 'neath a tree. * after 43 years, you should be able to believe anything."

[Helmut Shown]

In my class was a girl called Jenny Who'd show you her drawers for a penny When she went for a tinkle She'd show you her dinkle Not just one time but many There was an old man from Peru put his hand down to unblock a loo

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Indians are off to the moon A corner shop coming there soon. At the start of next year, They'll have Kingfisher beer And a curry house opens next June In my class was a girl called Jenny Who'd show you her drawers for a penny"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The BBCs not whining so far, At how terribly white our girls are. What matters, they say Is ""How many are Gay?"" To date? All we've counted, so far. The Indians are off to the moon A corner shop coming there soon."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Hooray for the splitarse team As the Aussies from the SCG stream Aussies in defeat, A sight Oh so sweet, Even in silly sports, makes me beam. The BBCs not whining so far, At how terribly white our girls are"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a postman in Crewe Was asked to deliver a loo ""Thank God! It has come"" Bloke said holding his bum I'm busting to drop a large poo Hooray for the splitarse team As the Aussies from the SCG stream"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A middle aged lady from Leeds For pleasure used anal beads. They were made from cut class, Which fucked up her arse, So now it's from both holes she bleeds. There once was a postman in Crewe Was asked to deliver a loo"

[Helmut Shown]

"West Ham dodged a bullet today, Slabhead at the Manc cunts will stay. Some value for money Not flushed down the dunny In the usual David Moyes way A middle aged lady from Leeds For pleasure used anal beads"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I thought with the going of Mike Dean That most VAR decisions would be clean, I've now concluded, That I was deluded, Refs still bent, it's fucking obscene. West Ham dodged a bullet today, Slabhead at the Manc cunts will stay."

[Helmut Shown]

"Bent VARman and bent referee Gave the points to Manure, all three Jon Moss and his kind Are selectively blind For the ""big six"" winning guarantee I thought with the going of Mike Dean That most VAR decisions would be clean"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Ghana His penis shaped like a banana Now he walks down the street With a Tamb'rine and sheet, Chanting Hare Krishna Hare Rama. Bent VARman and bent referee Gave the points to Manure, all three"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man from Belogorod, Was picked up one day by the plod. Now in penal enclosure For indecent exposure He's requested a cell on his Todd There was a young man from Ghana His penis shaped like a banana"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man from Belogorod, Was picked up one day by the plod. Now in penal enclosure For indecent exposure He's requested a cell on his Todd There was a young man from Ghana His penis shaped like a banana"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl when in Biarritz Was practising doing the splits, When she left they found, Some slime on the ground, They think came from her naughty bits. A young man from Belogorod, Was picked up one day by the plod."

[Helmut Shown]

Next up we have the rent boys. Will we park the bus √° la Moyes Coin throwing thuggery From the fans who like buggery And football without any joys A young girl when in Biarritz Was practising doing the splits

[arsene york-hunt]

The new season isn't appealing 'gainst Bournemouth I had a dread feeling But we drew one all Because we played Moyesball After having the other team reeling. Next up we have the rent boys. Will we park the bus √° la Moyes

[Helmut Shown]

A sailor boy on his first ship Was given some brandy to sip. On the coast off Dover The captain bent him over But caught his cock in his zip The new season isn't appealing 'gainst Bournemouth I had a dread feeling

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Down the High Street, a bloke called Jonah, Walked naked, and sporting a boner, At all passers-by He waved his Jap's eye... We can safely conclude he's a loner. A sailor boy on his first ship Was given some brandy to sip."

[arsene york-hunt]

"We start the season men down Weakened by the stubborn Scots clown, An extremely tight fist You'd think he was pissed Outbid by even by Luton Town. Down the High Street, a bloke called Jonah, Walked naked, and sporting a boner"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Bangkok, Who kept her small change in a sock When she walked with a limp Her money-grabbing pimp Knew it was cashing in o'clock We start the season men down Weakened by the stubborn Scots clown"