New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm starting to go off the beer A sure sign that I'm turning queer You start on Brew Dog, then Fosters Then other imposters Then Chateauneuf de Pape at New Year I find their approach very strange As incoming transfers they arrange"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She came from a town on the Med Guarding her maidenhead She sold it to me, For 49p And now wants a place in my bed. I'm starting to go off the beer A sure sign that I'm turning queer"

[Helmut Shown]

"While working on an oil tanker, It dropped anchor off Sri Lanka He then went ashore Met a very cheap whore Now his knob is sporting a chanchre She came from a town on the Med Guarding her maidenhead"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Trump. Is this now a witch hunt? Or just a political stunt? This fat orange chap, Just loves talking crap, He's not very nice, to be blunt. While working on an oil tanker, It dropped anchor off Sri Lanka"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Nothing will turn off the chaps More than droopy hanging pissflaps Except skid marky draws, Some pus riddled sores, And a pussy stuffed full of Dutch Caps. So Trump. Is this now a witch hunt? Or just a political stunt?"

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke wearing ladies costumes Enjoyed using girls' changing rooms They soon found him out As they looked up his clout On the ladder leading up to the flumes Nothing will turn off the chaps More than droopy hanging pissflaps

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady from Dorset Liked to dress in suspenders and corset, Her abdomen contracted, Her faeces impacted, She spent all day trying to force it. A bloke wearing ladies costumes Enjoyed using girls' changing rooms"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady from Dorset Liked to dress in suspenders and corset, Her abdomen contracted, He faeces impacted, She spent all day trying to force it. A bloke wearing ladies costumes Enjoyed using girls' changing rooms"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a strange bloke from Clwyd. Applied to become a druid They laid him on rocks Then got out their cocks And covered him in seminal fluid There was a young lady from Dorset Liked to dress in suspenders and corset

[Helmut Shown]

There was a strange bloke from Clwyd. Applied to become a druid They laid him on rocks Then got out their cocks And covered him in seminal fluid There was a young lady from Dorset Liked to dress in suspenders and corset

[arsene york-hunt]

"A northern chap called Golightly His appearance was really unsightly His partner called Bess, Was also a mess. Not exactly Kiera Knightly. There was a strange bloke from Clwyd. Applied to become a druid"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young woman from the Azores, Who suffered bad vaginal sores Even she had to cringe At the smell of her minge The moment she dropped her drawers A northern chap called Golightly His appearance was really unsightly"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Nero fiddled while Rome was burning Another season and Moyes not learning, And it now seems. We only have dreams. Of the success we all are yearning. A young woman from the Azores, Who suffered bad vaginal sores"

[Helmut Shown]

"An old geezer from Turnpike Lane, Was mouthing oaths coarse and profane Many beers that he'd quaff Tell all to ""fuck off"" But most treated him with disdain Nero fiddled while Rome was burning Another season and Moyes not learning"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In cricket those Australian boys Are like they've been coached by Moyes, The sight of these chaps, In their silly green caps, Celebrating, really annoys. An old geezer from Turnpike Lane, Was mouthing oaths coarse and profane"

[Helmut Shown]

We need several players of class Though delays make it all seem a farce Moyes seems to hold sway With the way that we play Stick your Moyesball up your arse In cricket those Australian boys Are like they've been coached by Moyes

[,]

"The lady ripped off her new dress When the man from del Monte said yes This revealed, inter alia, Confused genitalia And the Gent it failed to impress We need several players of class Though delays make it all seem a farce"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The kitchen's have binned a top bloke Their politics are really a joke, Don't what you mean, The sense I can't glean, Is it something to do with woke? The lady ripped off her new dress, When the man from del Monte said yes,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A second rate actor called Frank, Made a film for J Arthur Rank It never was seen Upon the big screen, For the script and the acting both stank. The kitchen's have binned a top bloke Their politics are really a joke"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He was fishing for cod bream and pollocks So he placed his oars in the rowlocks. Before going to sea, Had watched a DVD The film, one of Eli Wallach's. A second rate actor called Frank, Made a film for J Arthur Rank"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm wearing a frock, I'll confess As I love watching ladies undress But my tent at the front Revealed my stunt The beak it didn’t impress He was fishing for cod bream and pollocks So he placed his oars in the rowlocks"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Totnes Went out in a state of undress, No she wasn't pissed She was a naturist Undergoing her own egress. I'm wearing a frock, I'll confess As I love watching ladies undress"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's been said that little Bo Peep, Found a Welshman shagging her sheep. Bo took a look Hit his knob with her crook As you sow, so shall you reap There was a young girl from Totnes Went out in a state of undress"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In French? A big pile of poo. You know that we've left the EU? Well I have to say I expected franglais So it congratulations to you. It's been said that little Bo Peep, Found a Welshman shagging her sheep."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Une fois, en France chez ma tante, J'ai fait un flotteur resistant Regardez les chiens, Ils mangent le pain, Et pour le déjeuner...ils chantent In French? A big pile of poo. You know that we've left the EU?"