New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"A man from near Edmonton Green, Did something in public obscene. At football a decision Caused a lot of derision So he waved his knob at Mike Dean It is said that William Rees-Mogg Is a nasty right wing demagogue"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An African girl from Banjul Shit in her local swimming pool The next girl did sob, And spat from her gob, She thought it was her boyfriend's tool. A man from near Edmonton Green, Did something in public obscene."

[Helmut Shown]

That Crawley we really must drop He really is no fucking cop This long streak of piss When he don't swing and miss Its an edge to the slips with a chop An African girl from Banjul Shit in her local swimming pool

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I've just watched that satellite launch, For ""tech"", I am really a staunch Tech! I'm a loafer So ill sit on my sofa Gradually increasing my paunch. That Crawley we really must drop He really is no fucking cop"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I'm informed that this bloke Alan Carr, Though not funny, a COMEDY star??? I don't know this bloke Can he tell a joke? Or is that taking humour too far? I've just watched that satellite launch, For ""tech"", I am really a staunch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He said he’s a bloke called Jim But under his pants was a quim, A girl opened 'his' flies A minge before her eyes, She found the experience grim. I'm informed that this bloke Alan Carr, Though not funny, a COMEDY star???"

[Helmut Shown]

An Essex school: woke flavoured stalls Assault done by some kid with balls With a dick you are born? When you wake in the morn Use the gents ‘fore you pull down your smalls He said he’s a bloke called Jim But under his pants was a quim

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a brothel in old Tangier, While waiting they give you a beer. Then, to help the time pass You can piss in the glass But a dump they regard as quite queer. An Essex school: woke flavoured stalls Assault done by some kid with balls"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Since Macmillan’s days have passed The new leader is worse than the last, Like each West Ham boss, Turning out more dross, It's enough to leave you aghast. In a brothel in old Tangier, While waiting they give you a beer."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Since Macmillan’s days have passed The new leader is worse than the last, Like each West Ham boss, Turning out more dross, It's enough to leave you aghast. In a brothel in old Tangier, While waiting they give you a beer."

[Helmut Shown]

"Appeal judges fucked another case,* Thwarting the will of the populace, The the government’s most vocal Are also not local Put them in the queue for a place Since Macmillan’s days have passed The new leader is worse than the last"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Thames Water goes down the drain Should the owners now take some blame, When fishing for trout, Pulled a huge turd out, Fuck that he was heard to exclaim. Appeal judges fucked another case,* Thwarting the will of the populace, *Rwanda"

[,]

In France it's all fights dans la rue And Macron knows not what to do A civilian shot Les flics lose the plot There’s a feeling of deja vu. Thames Water goes down the drain Should the owners now take some blame

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Fatty and Skinny got in the bath. Fatty blew off and made skinny laugh Then up floated a turd, A second...then third Named Bismark & Turpits and Spee (Graf). In France it's all fights dans la rue And Macron knows not what to do"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Fatty and Skinny got in the bath. Fatty blew off and made skinny laugh Then up floated a turd, A second...then third Named Bismark & Turpits and Spee (Graf). In France it's all fights dans la rue And Macron knows not what to do"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She said of a young man's worth It not his length but the girth Using measuring tape, To make sure of the shape, They do things that way in Perth. Fatty and Skinny got in the bath. Fatty blew off and made skinny laugh"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young girl from Tossa de Mar, Was sexually abused by Papa The dirty old fecker They cut off his pecker He keeps it in a jam jar She said of a young man's worth It not his length but the girth"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young girl from Tossa de Mar, Was sexually abused by Papa The dirty old fecker They cut off his pecker He keeps it in a jam jar She said of a young man's worth It not his length but the girth"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Privatisation really delivers Large leaks and shit in the rivers, Traveller irate, At trains that run late And fuel bills that give you the shivers. A young girl from Tossa de Mar, Was sexually abused by Papa."

[Helmut Shown]

"Whether butcher, baker or bum Those t*ttenham fans are all scum. These bagel chewing shonkers Are a bunch of prize plonkers Their team? decidedly humdrum Privatisation really delivers Large leaks and shit in the rivers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As yet there have been no new deals With Rice gone we’ll lose our wheels, The has-beens and unfit, Getting beaten by shit, It's the West Ham way, one feels. Whether butcher, baker or bum Those t*ttenham fans are all scum."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As yet there have been no new deals With Rice gone we’ll lose our wheels, The has-beens and unfit, Getting beaten by shit, It's the West Ham way, one feels. Whether butcher, baker or bum Those t*ttenham fans are all scum."

[Helmut Shown]

And if it should come to pass Manchester City or the Arse? Now it‚Äôs been found Levy bid just ten pound As usual the cսnt has no class As yet there have been no new deals With Rice gone we‚Äôll lose our wheels

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Declan will remain one more year, Don't forget you heard it first here I wont call you a twat But there's no chance of that If he does I'll buy you a beer And if it should come to pass Manchester City or the Arse?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Chinese are flying their b'loons They regard the west as baboons. They're uncouth these Chinese Ne'er A thank you or please And they still call black people coons. Declan will remain one more year, Don't forget you heard it first here"