New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lad from Leek In the Ladies took a quick peek, Then out came his dick And he rubbed it quite quick So now he's in front of the beak* The Chinese are flying their b'loons They regard the west as baboons. * - is it beak or beek? Maybe even bique if your first-borns' called Tarquin or Tabatha."

[Helmut Shown]

"A few days off to Cairo for me, Pyramids and the sphincter to see Coming home with the shits With sand on your bits And a very strange smell to your pee There was a young lad from Leek In the Ladies took a quick peek"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Wagner bloke's having a go At toppling Putin's Moscow, Showing so little class, And to save his fat arse Fucked off to join Lukoshenko. A few days off to Cairo for me, Pyramids and the sphincter to see"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Wagner bloke's having a go At toppling Putin's Moscow, Showing so little class, And to save his fat arse Fucked off to join Lukoshenko. A few days off to Cairo for me, Pyramids and the sphincter to see"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Another thing I think funny, Why Ain't Charlie's head on money The son of the Queen Thinks cash is not green He's really an odd little bunny. That Wagner bloke's having a go At toppling Putin's Moscow"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Another thing I think funny, Why Ain't Charlie's head on money The son of the Queen Thinks cash is not green He's really an odd little bunny. That Wagner bloke's having a go At toppling Putin's Moscow"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Bojo thinks to give out rewards By putting dickheads in the Lords All manner of louse Is let in the house, Even blokes in baseball caps and cords. Another thing I think funny, Why Aint Charlie's head on money"

[Helmut Shown]

"In Emmerdale Farm, it is said The girls blew the boys in the shed When they had cum The girls they would bum Lots of fun for the inbred Bojo thinks to give out rewards By putting dickheads in the Lords"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"At Crossroads chef Shughie McPhee, In the sink was having a pee But what came in handy Was raspberry Sandy Who'd blow his knob dry for a fee In Emmerdale Farm, it is said The girls blew the boys in the shed."

[arsene york-hunt]

"You lie, you cheat an you fail Went to Eton, so got a job at the Mail, This is hypocrisy MP's all lie you see, Getting caught , is beyond the pale. At Crossroads chef Shughie McPhee, In the sink was having a pee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"You lie, you cheat an you fail Went to Eton, so got a job at the Mail, This is hypocrisy MP's all lie you see, Getting caught , is beyond the pale. At Crossroads chef Shughie McPhee, In the sink was having a pee"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young girl from near Birkenhead, In the shipyard used to give head. Most thought it would follow When cumming she'd swallow But she's a good girl, so she said You lie, you cheat an you fail Went to Eton, so got a job at the Mail"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Readying for sex her legs parted Mortified the poor girl farted He was unimpressed, Hurriedly got dressed, And through the door sharply departed. A young girl from near Birkenhead, In the shipyard used to give head."

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm struggling here with a tune, The words include ""Silvery Moon"" The minstrels black and white Would sing this sort of shite Upsetting another woke loon Readying for sex her legs parted Mortified the poor girl farted"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A perverted scotsman called Tam Made minor from his knob lick jam. The lad was from Keith And it stained his milk teeth But the sweaty did not give a damn, I'm struggling here with a tune, The words include ""Silvery Moon"""

[arsene york-hunt]

*minors

[arsene york-hunt]

"The captain said ""Ready to dive!"" ""Prepare for some Titanic jive!"" The ship in their eyes Went to their demise, Nevermore to be seen alive. A perverted scotsman called Tam Made minor from his knob lick jam."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It is said that Holly Willoughby Farts loudly while having a pee Her number one fan Would piss like a man From the top of his favourite tree. The captain said ""Ready to dive!"" ""Prepare for some Titanic jive!"""

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a bloke from Stockport, Got a stiffy while having a snort. To cure rheumatism Instead priapism Now banned from public transport It is said that Holly Willoughby Farts loudly while having a pee"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was an old man of Perth Who was blessed with much length, but no girth. His cock was so thin They’d say “Is it in?” In his crowd it caused quite some mirth It is said that Holly Willoughby Farts loudly while having a pee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I once knew a girl called Annie Who could whistle a tune from her fanny, An absolute joy, Was her Danny Boy, When accompanied with timpani. There once was a bloke from Stockport, Got a stiffy while having a snort."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I once knew a girl called Annie Who could whistle a tune from her fanny But the sound from her minge Would make people cringe Was so out of key it's uncanny. There once was an old man of Perth Who was blessed with much length, but no girth."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a chap called Ian, Identified as a lesbian. I couldn't be franker When I say, 'dear northbanker' Your rhyme is a tad machiavellian I once knew a girl called Annie Who could whistle a tune from her fanny"

[northbanker]

"A Gardner known round here as ""Bill"" Is said to prefer working up-hill. We know what's coming, This rhyme's about bumming, And rectal dilation thrill. There once was a chap called Ian, Identified as a lesbian."

[northbanker]

"A Gardner known round here as ""Bill"" Is said to prefer working up-hill. We know what's coming, This rhyme's about bumming, And rectal dilation thrill. There once was a chap called Ian, Identified as a lesbian."