New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"The difference between us and them It's said it's the British phlegm, But that quality's gone, Our world's based on, Dependent types causing mayhem. Metrosexuals poufters, trannies, What would be said by our great grannies?"

[Helmut Shown]

Now Southampton are certain to go Who do you think will follow Nothing to discuss As long as its not us A victory but albeit hollow The difference between us and them It's said it's the British phlegm

[Pee Wee]

No matter slow motion and looks Handball decisions?! they're crooks Each game is a fix When you play the big 6 Straight out of Fergies playbooks Now Southampton are certain to go Who do you think will follow?

[Pee Wee]

No matter slow motion and looks Handball decisions?! they're crooks Each game is a fix When you play the big 6 Straight out of Fergies playbooks Now Southampton are certain to go Who do you think will follow?

[Helmut Shown]

"The most blatant fucking handball, 'Against manure we get fuck all On so many fronts The refs are all cunts Scruples? They have a shortfall No matter slow motion and looks Handball decisions?! they're crooks"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bird I fancied from Caracas Had a really fine pair of knackers, A bloke in a skirt, Whose real name is Bert, But my, he could play the maracas ** Hope you don't mid the edit (too many syllables) https://www.nightzookeeper.com/resources/poetry/how-to-write-limericks#:~:text=Limerick%20poems%20are%20poems%20that,follow%20a%20specific%20syllable%20count. The most blatant fucking handball, 'Against manure we get fuck all"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a hammer with a stammer He went to Brampton Manor Although the cadence is suspect And the rhyming not perfect I promise I won’t mention the grammar A bird that I really fancied from Caracas To my dismay had a fine pair of knackers

[Westham67]

"A contentious offside at Liverpool I thought it a goal, what a fool The referee wasn't fantastic In fact he was a spastic And he still plays with Klopps tool There was a hammer with a stammer He went to Brampton Manor"

[Helmut Shown]

"Another eight shot dead in the States The Gun lobby has powerful mates. Violent inbreds All out of their heads But the right to bear arms for primates? A contentious offside at Liverpool I thought it a goal, what a fool"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The cսnt with the flag on his hat Stood for hours and never he shat He just wasn't able To curl out a cable, The covid jabs put paid to that. Another eight shot dead in the States The Gun lobby has powerful mates."

[BRANDED]

A country will be be in the lurch When it mixes the state with the church So this Dude will abide The tampon story aside Cunts waving flags never hurt The cսnt with the flag on his hat Stood for hours and never he shat

[Pee Wee]

A tin pot dictator called Putin Is always his borders disputin’ It must be a pain To live in Ukraine And worry about all the lootin’ A country will be be in the lurch When it mixes the state with the church

[,]

"For Manure I have a clear vision, They'll win with a corrupt decision It will be another day Where things go their way despite ref’s verdicts causing derision A tin pot dictator called Putin Is always his borders disputin’"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Another match day has arrived One more win and I think we’ve survived. For the course it is par The officials and VAR Will ensure the result is contrived. For Manure I have a clear vision, They'll win with a corrupt decision"

[Pee Wee]

Putin's false flag drone was a flop. A firework on the Kremlin went pop. He should sit down for tea With Vlod Zelensky Stir in two lumps of Novichok Another match day has arrived One more win and I think we’ve survived

[arsene york-hunt]

The Walrus has lost his first game But fans he can no longer blame No cupping of ears Crying into beers Leeds for the drop? What a shame! Putin's false flag drone was a flop. A firework on the Kremlin went pop.

[Helmut Shown]

I'm sure we all agree that Haaland is one ugly twat His prowess you'd extol But a face like a troll Or the site where an elephant sat The Walrus has lost his first game But fans he can no longer blame

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

His goal v the Yids at the end ...of the game had made him a legend That moment of magic For Tottenham was tragic But for me it made my weekend I'm sure we all agree that Haaland is one ugly twat

[arsene york-hunt]

"I don't want to sound like a meany But we've got to get rid of Lanzini, The small Argentine He used to be fine, But I'm off now for some Zuchini. His goal v the Yids at the end ...of the game had made him a legend"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

These silly royal watcher whores Have spent all day dampening their drawers A week on the Mall Or eating a Phal Both would give you arse sores I don't want to sound like a meany But we've got to get rid of Lanzini

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Watched the coronation and so, It appears to be mumbo-jumbo But as a proud Brit I rather like it And for those that don't, just eff o I don't want to sound like a meany But we've got to get rid of Lanzini"

[Helmut Shown]

"Watched the coronation and so, It appears to be mumbo-jumbo From Canada to Australia The pomp and regalia But he still has the ears of Dumbo These silly royal watcher whores Have spent all day dampening their drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Fuck Celtic who have started to sing A song that's defiling our king, Well what can you say? Fans of the IRA, A mob who're famed for Murdering. Watched the coronation and so, It appears to be mumbo-jumbo"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Can fat Frank dig out his first win? Or is his career in the bin? Fuck him and his uncle The dodgy carbuncle And all the rest of his kin Fuck Celtic who have started to sing A song that's defiling our king

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Can fat Frank dig out his first win? Or is his career in the bin? Fuck him and his uncle The dodgy carbuncle And all the rest of his kin Fuck Celtic who have started to sing A song that's defiling our king