New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"By the barcodes aside we were swept Our management are fucking inept, Some of ours put in shifts But their goals were all gifts. Which they happily did accept. Can't defend, score goals or keep the ball, Games that we should win, I see fuck all"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old git from Redruth, Who was ill mannered and uncouth He’d oft pick his nose To wipe on his clothes He’d done so since he was a youth By the barcodes aside we were swept Our management are fucking inept"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So. Fatty is back at the blues, Let's start with the ""how-do-you-do""'s. So Chelsea owners hence, Have more money than sense, A seial failure they choose. There was an old git from Redruth, Who was ill mannered and uncouth"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The leader of the SNP Is a cսnt between you and me. No need to be fickle, You're talkin' 'bout pickled A bloke who can piss up a tree. So. Fatty is back at the blues, Let's start with the ""how-do-you-do""'s"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The leader of the SNP Is a cսnt between you and me. No need to be fickle, You're talkin' 'bout pickled A bloke who can piss up a tree. So. Fatty is back at the blues, Let's start with the ""how-do-you-do""'s"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's sad but it has to be said The site's gonna miss dear old Ted. The news made me choke, Seemed a vey nice bloke, Another true Hammer is dead. RIP Ted The leader of the SNP Is a cսnt between you and me"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Moyes has got a brass neck Presiding over this wreck. He's lucky that ""Sully"" Just ain't got the money To clear the cսnt right off our deck. It's sad but it has to be said The site's gonna miss dear old Ted."

[Helmut Shown]

"The reason why we don't win cups, On view tonight with our cock ups Next level? my arse A team that can't pass But Hammers are always sold pups Moyes has got a brass neck Presiding over this wreck"

[Helmut Shown]

"The reason why we don't win cups, On view tonight with our cock ups Next level? my arse A team that can't pass But Hammers are always sold pups Moyes has got a brass neck Presiding over this wreck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A trendy fashion designer Brought out new pantie liner, Looks like them thong things And has a pair of wings And a fold that fits in the vagina. The reason why we don't win cups, On view tonight with our cock ups."

[Helmut Shown]

"A sheep worrier from North Wales, In his teens, he went off the rails. Eating lava bread Had fucked up his head and left skidmarks on his shirt tails A trendy fashion designer Brought out new pantie liner"

[Helmut Shown]

"A sheep worrier from North Wales, In his teens, he went off the rails. Eating lava bread Had fucked up his head and left skidmarks on his shirt tails A trendy fashion designer Brought out new pantie liner"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An ugly old munter from Crewe Would take out her teeth when she blew. And, don't ask me why, She'd take out her glass eye, Putting it by the bed in her shoe. A sheep worrier from North Wales, In his teens, he went off the rails."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"These chav girls from Essex it's said, Are only good for giving head The girls from Northants Like dropping their pants But the Cornish birds are no good in bed An ugly old munter from Crewe Would take out her teeth when she blew"

[arsene york-hunt]

"We are hearing a great deal of noise About who'll be replacing Moyes, But our owners lack, Vertebrae in their back Mistaken for calmess and poise. When I looked at my dick this morning I noticed an ominous warning. Now I reap what I sow Because there down below A chancrous lesion is forming. These chav girls from Essex it's said, Are only good for giving head"

[Helmut Shown]

"A drunken Irishman called Ray, In a pool of his vomit lay After dropping a log A 'hair of the dog' Then back to his moral decay We are hearing a great deal of noise About who'll be replacing Moyes"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A drunken Irishman called Ray, In a pool of his vomit lay, The bog trotting lout Threw up eight pints of stout and the rest of his Chinese takeaway When I looked at my dick this morning I noticed an ominous warning"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was an old man called Gus Had a wank in the back of a bus, Then he said to the Bill ""Was Just trying to chill, I can't understand all of the fuss."" A drunken Irishman called Ray, In a pool of his vomit lay,"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a man called Nobby, Had a tendency to be gobby. An elected MP Would vehemently disagree Causing a fight in the lobby There was an old man called Gus Had a wank in the back of a bus"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An arborist said, with much glee, ""Oh! Look! A new species of tree!"" For this new mutation , He got an ovation, At the Royal Society. A Scot who was very well built Wore nothing under his kilt. This Devil in Skirt, Was a filthy pervert, But with ageing his stiffy would wilt. There once was a man called Nobby, Had a tendency to be gobby."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"My chatlines to a bird at the bar Unfortunately didn’t get me too far ""Do you fancy a fuck."" ""In the back of this truck?"" ""The wife has gone off with the car."" An arborist said, with much glee, ""Oh! Look! A new species of tree!"""

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A short chinese girl in a lift Felt a stiffy rubbing her midriff It wasn’t that large For a penile barge So she pushed it away pretty swift My chatlines to a bird at the bar Unfortunately didn’t get me too far

[Helmut Shown]

A short chinese girl in a lift Felt a stiffy rubbing her midriff High maybe low? Should she go on tiptoe? Or bend down and give it a sniff A Scot who was very well built Wore nothing under his kilt

[arsene york-hunt]

"A ladyboy knew what to do When her customer needed a poo. He went to the trouble, Of bending him double, Sticking a dildo up his flue. A short chinese girl in a lift Felt a stiffy rubbing her midriff"

[Mike Oxsaw]

All these rhymes about prostitution A Limerick thread institution. Ten bob for a quickie Is taking the mickey But clears out one's pipes of pollution. A ladyboy knew what to do When her customer needed a poo.