New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

All these rhymes about prostitution A Limerick thread institution. Ten bob for a quickie Is taking the mickey But clears out one's pipes of pollution. A ladyboy knew what to do When her customer needed a poo.

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty young strumpet from Bow Had the most pronounced camel toe Unappealing creases, And showing dried faeces, With her very few punters go. All these rhymes about prostitution A Limerick thread institution."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A lazy young boy from Belfast For most things he couldn't be arsed But when it came to wanking And monkey spanking He left all his classmates aghast A dirty young strumpet from Bow Had the most pronounced camel toe

[Helmut Shown]

"A zookeeper called Amanda, Got fucked at work by a panda She's pregnant she believes And craves bamboo leaves And poos every hour on the verandah A lazy young boy from Belfast For most things he couldn't be arsed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I write this as I sit with a frown Musing on our chance of going down, We can but sit and watch, The boss who is Scotch And an owner who wont sack the clown, A zookeeper called Amanda, Got fucked at work by a panda"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

So Levy has sacked another Changing horses like the Queen mother They come and the go But one thing I know He’s hired everyone and his brother I write this as I sit with a frown Musing on our chance of going down

[Helmut Shown]

I'm sad for the death of O'Grady I thought he looked good as a lady But my only grouse His accent was scouse But more feminine than Baroness Brady So Levy has sacked another Changing horses like the Queen mother

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"If at tottenham that Harry Kane, Wins a trophy, I'll go insane There’s no chance the mong Will pick up a gong His career will have been spent in vain I'm sad for the death of O'Grady I thought he looked good as a lady"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I see that tottenham are clearing house They just got rid of another louse Their delusional sect, Serial winners reject, They're bigger cunts than the scouse. If at tottenham that Harry Kane, Wins a trophy, I'll go insane"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"An old man from the Isle of Dogs, Picked up young blokes in public bogs He would make certain passes Then roger their arses Dressed in his best Sunday togs I see that Tottenham are clearing house They just got rid of another louse"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was an orthodox Jew In the synagogue caught sniffing glue Fucking scmuck! Oi Vey! The Rabbi did say, As he planted on his arse his shoe. An old man from the Isle of Dogs, Picked up young blokes in public bogs"

[Helmut Shown]

A lady from Green Street I know Performed each night in a strip show The dirty old whore Would piss on the floor If the audience would put up the dough There once was an orthodox Jew In the synagogue caught sniffing glue

[arsene york-hunt]

"An old chap I met down in Bow. A puppeteer - put on a show. The show had to cease 'As closed by the Police, 'Twas Sooty giving Muffin a blow. A lady from Green Street I know Performed each night in a strip show"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lady from Stoke Whose knicker elastic broke It flow round the room Gave off a huge ""BOOM!"" And scared off a very nice bloke. An old chap I met down in Bow. A puppeteer - put on a show."

[Helmut Shown]

"When out with a young girl called Annie, He stuck his finger up her fanny And with his thumb He rifled her bum Her change of mood was uncanny There was a young lady from Stoke Whose knicker elastic broke"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After farting all night in my bed I'd a shit that smelt like the dead. With the flush would not go Several times and so, Broke it up with a big stick instead. When out a young girl called Annie, He stuck his finger up her fanny"

[Helmut Shown]

The sweaties have got a new boss. Does anyone here give a toss? Fuck the caucasians We're governed by asians And foreign public schoolboy dross After farting all night in my bed I'd a shit that smelt like the dead

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Now Conte’s demise has come Who’s next to join the Tottscum. Now, here's the chance To plan our advance Oh! Fuck it! With Moysie? How dumb! The sweaties have got a new boss. Does anyone here give a toss?"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Apart from the goals that they scored England tonight left me quite bored. I ask myself, why? My expectations are high When the team has Eric Dier, good lord! Now Conte’s demise has come Who’s next to join the Tottscum"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The teams that want to sign Rice Ex players try to push down the price, These two thuggish swine, Have crossed over the line, Punch their faces? I wouldn't think twice. Apart from the goals that they scored England tonight left me quite bored."

[Helmut Shown]

I once knew a girl from Hong Kong Her toenails were incredibly long When stripped to the buff She didn't have a muff But balls and a very large dong The teams that want to sign Rice Ex players try to push down the price

[Helmut Shown]

I once knew a girl from Hong Kong Her toenails were incredibly long When stripped to the buff She didn't have a muff But balls and a very large dong The teams that want to sign Rice Ex players try to push down the price

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Bent refs favouring the top teams, Has gone on for decades it seems. But what is bizarre Is they, even with VAR Get calls I only see in my dreams I once knew a girl from Hong Kong Her toenails were incredibly long"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I trust you all heard all the news ‘bout the cheating Merseyside blues, As bad as red scouse, Each one is a louse, Scummiest? It's quite hard to choose. Bent refs favouring the top teams, Has gone on for decades it seems."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

That brass necked old boiler Liz Truss Wants to make a comeback. Discuss She‚Äôs just a thick dunce Who fucked it up once Throw the cսnt under a bus I trust you all heard all the news ‚Äòbout the cheating Merseyside blues