New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

So. MPs - out-voted old knobs Are scrambling around for new jobs With their penchant for buggery And financial skullduggery They could sell their bums to the nobs He decided what to have for dessert Was high up inside a girl's skirt

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I'll be watching the game in Mallorca A let down, or really a corker? If we're a goal down, Go out on the town To find a cheap doris and pork her. So. MPs - out-voted old knobs Are scrambling around for new jobs"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"No choice in anyone's book In the US vote Dribbly or a crook Trump?, I think not That orange faced snot Id rather impale my balls on a meat hook I'll be watching the game in Mallorca A let down, or really a corker?"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm told in bars, banquets and hunts, That t*ttenh*m fans are all cunts But that Levy shite Abuses the right More cuntish on so many fronts No choice in anyone's book In the US vote Dribbly or a crook"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl Carolina Craved a designer vagina, She paid eastern chaps, To remove her flaps, They do this a lot in China. I'm told in bars, banquets and hunts, That t*ttenh*m fans are all cunts"

[Helmut Shown]

In London a well known scrubber Had a body that was 90% blubber But bondage fana tics Pull out their pricks When she gets out her gimp mask and rubber There was a young girl Carolina Craved a designer vagina

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

It's Putin! Or maybe it's Trump. The Biden fans should well have the hump Its a shame for poor Joe This may be a deathblow So we're stuck with the orange faced chump In London a well known scrubber Had a body that was 90% blubber

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A chap that I know called Horace, Dave (Saved?) up each week for a Doris It cost him a Pony But because he was lonely, Was happy it gave him some solace It's Putin! Or maybe it's Trump. The Biden fans should well have the hump."

[arsene york-hunt]

"I guess that pubs will be packed out With England half-pinters, no doubt I'll sit there this time, With Campari and lime, Hoping that the dagos we'll rout. A chap that I know called Horace, Dave up each week for a Doris"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Norfolk a man and his sister Were playing a game of twister He coughed and slipped in, She said ""It's no sin"", ""Our dad has had me and our sister"". I guess that pubs will be packed out With England half-pinters, no doubt"

[Helmut Shown]

"The Rolf Harris, that all of us knew Liked kids to touch his didgerido Before you could blink He had one in the stink Knob covered in didgeripoo In Norfolk a man and his sister Were playing a game of twister"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"My first reaction was Good Lord! Into the final we have bored But if we get to play The exact same way The dagos will put us to the sword The Rolf Harris, that all of us knew Liked kids to touch his didgerido"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It was said that Ragnar the Viking For rape and pillage had a liking, He liked most to come, Into a youg lads bum, It's what he called rectal spiking. My first reaction was Good Lord! Into the final we have bored"

[Helmut Shown]

"This morning I passed a great log, For ages it stank out the bog Sticking out a bit Was a pointy piece of shit And it looked just like Noggin the Nog It was said that Ragnar the Viking For rape and pillage had a liking"

[arsene york-hunt]

"No matter what website I choose, They all are devoid of good news. Trump, Starmer Ukraine, All drive me insane, And there's no bum paper to use. This morning I passed a great log, Fror ages it stank out the bog"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Turkey when a poo you do pass A spray shoots right up your arse. If it's a bit of a stinger, It could be more than one finger Of Abdul Mohammed - No Class No matter what website I choose, They all are devoid of good news."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Turkey when a poo you do pass A spray shoots right up your arse. If it's a bit of a stinger, It could be more than one finger Of Abdul Mohammed - No Class No matter what website I choose, They all are devoid of good news."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Last week a man went to the home, Of a high class call girl in Rome She certainly weren't tall Her height was fuck all A beauty no! She looked more like a gnome In Turkey when a poo you do pass A spray shoots right up your arse"

[arsene york-hunt]

* loads of

[arsene york-hunt]

"She noticed a red raw rash As she sat on the bog for a slash, At the local hunt, A blood hound licked her cսnt She'll go private, she's got load of cash Last week a man went to the home, Of a high class call girl in Rome."

[Helmut Shown]

Sir Keir's stopped the Rwanda scheme. Sharia law soon it would seem. Money pissed up the wall And for what? Fuck all A success for the Tory regime? She noticed a red raw rash As she sat on the bog for a slash

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Southgate survives yet again Watching this shit causes pain, You are right if you thunk This performance stunk, I'm off for a line of cocaine.* Sir Keir's stopped the Rwanda scheme. Sharia law soon it would seem. * not really"

[Helmut Shown]

Like old dears going to the Bingo The MPs to see Starmer did go But their hat they'd doff To see the Tories fuck off Before drinking glasses of Stingo So Southgate survives yet again Watching this shit causes pain

[arsene york-hunt]

"So the nation elected Kier Starmer. I think I'd prefer a snake charmer, That Rayner Mun-ter I woulld sleep with her Provided she was wearing armour. lLike old dears going to the Bingo The MPs to see Starmer did go"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Our maths teacher Mr. Metcalf, Blew off and made everyone laugh Then, under the table, He laid a big cable. Seems these days you can't get the staff. So the nation elected Kier Starmer. I think I'd prefer a snake charmer."