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New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 21:49
by arsene york-hunt
"Scouse whining has started again The faux grief they cannot constrain They like a good moan, Not about their own, 'Cos the scumbags are never to blame. While hiking in Spain to my front, I saw an old town that's called cսnt"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 20:36
by Helmut Shown
I once knew a lad called Scott Who’s nose was flowing with snot His cooking was exalted His stews were not salted He just let it drip in the pot Scouse whining has started again The faux grief they cannot constrain

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 18:17
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"When exposing my rectal smile He missed and burst a small pile I wish there was videotape Of him piercing my grape If so, he’d be set for a trial I once knew a lad called Scott Who’s nose was flowing with snot"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 17:54
by Helmut Shown
To my doctor’s for my check-up I’ll trudge Just dreading the old finger of fudge I have some misgiving About earning a living Delving in another's sludge When exposing my rectal smile He missed and burst a small pile * * True story

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 17:52
by arsene york-hunt
"To my doctor’s for my check-up I’ll trudge Just dreading the old finger of fudge Last time just my luck, His finger got stuck It took over ten minutes to budge It the German town of Wankum, A young man practiced his drum"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 17:10
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"A girl with a very large arse, Was sat at the back of the class If the silly cսnt Had sat in the front Then not a soul in the back could pass To my doctor‚Äôs for my check-up I‚Äôll trudge Just dreading the old finger of fudge"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 15:27
by Mike Oxsaw
"An actor in a bit part job Was told he'd to expose his knob. He said ""Are you sure?"" ""It's red, raw and sore"" ""Through spending last night in your gob"". A girl with a very large arse, Was sat at the back of the class."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 15:07
by arsene york-hunt
"The window is starting to close, And who will we get? No one knows. We'll pay a big sum, For some useless bum, Be crocked the next day's how it goes. An actor in a bit part job Was told he'd to expose his knob"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 10:24
by Mike Oxsaw
"A young girl from the Dutch Antilles Only liked circumcised willies Those with a scarf, Just made her laugh She saw them as backward hill billies. The window is starting to close, And who will we get? No one knows."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 03:13
by Hello Mrs. Jones
There was a young girl from Beccles Whose skin was covered in freckles A horny old Jew Said “Any chance of a screw” But I'Ve only got 25 shekels A young girl from the Dutch Antilles Only liked circumcised willies

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 02:03
by arsene york-hunt
"A timid display against the Rams Against ManU well be slaughtered lambs Playing not just their team But officials 'twould seem And the cսnt in VAR with his cams. It is said of the dear departed In coffins they frequently farted A worker passed out When a big one blew out When the stiff's hair, he'd just parted There was a young girl from Beccles Whose skin was covered in freckles"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 01:19
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"Thanks for your effort my dear Zico But this thread’s for Limericks, don’t you know Please remember AABBA Then we’ll be happy to let you play Else your posts we’ll have to forego A timid display against the Rams Against ManU well be slaughtered lambs"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Jan 2023, 16:12
by zico
David Moyes won't play the boys so Ashby's gone to Toon Dave's not an admirer of youth steering the club to doom.

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Jan 2023, 16:02
by Helmut Shown
"The Masked Singer, just seen some of it. Fucking arse'oles what infantile shit That fucking bloke Dommet Makes me want to vomit Comedian? More like a tit It is said of the dear departed In coffins they frequently farted"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Jan 2023, 16:02
by Helmut Shown
"The Masked Singer, just seen some of it. Fucking arse'oles what infantile shit That fucking bloke Dommet Makes me want to vomit Comedian? More like a tit It is said of the dear departed In coffins they frequently farted"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 23:12
by arsene york-hunt
"There was an old git from Leicester Outside the school kiddies he'd pester, He'd offer them sweets, And other such treats, Now he's on the nonce wing to fester. The Masked Singer, just seen some of it. Fucking arse'oles what infantile shit"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 21:10
by Helmut Shown
"What I think is a disgrace Dogs licking their owner's face On your face, looks like treacle But look closer, its faecal Better go wash just in case There was an old git from Leicester Outside the school kiddies he'd pester"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 21:10
by Helmut Shown
"What I think is a disgrace Dogs licking their owner's face On your face, looks like treacle But look closer, its faecal Better go wash just in case There was an old git from Leicester Outside the school kiddies he'd pester"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 16:58
by arsene york-hunt
"They're sending men back to the moon I hear, bro, it's happening soon, There aren't any trees But the surface is cheese, So they'll take crackers and a spoon. What I think is a disgrace Dogs licking their owner's face"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 07:39
by Mike Oxsaw
"I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy. And so is her chin, so, where to begin? The whole thing's incredibly scary. They're sending men back to the moon I hear, bro, it's happening soon"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 01:45
by Hello Mrs. Jones
....computer malfunction..oops

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 01:45
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy But here is the catch

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 01:45
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy But here is the catch

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 01:45
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy But here is the catch

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 28 Jan 2023, 01:45
by Hello Mrs. Jones
I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy But here is the catch