New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a fat bloke from Rayleigh Who went to a Scottish ceilidh Some kiddies he'd shock, Exposing his cock His case is soon at the Old Bailey. I saw naked old Auntie Mary. Her vulva's excessively hairy"

[Helmut Shown]

A funny thing happened last night While eating Fry's Turkish Delight I looked at the label For the constituents table It’s jelly all covered in shite There was a fat bloke from Rayleigh Who went to a Scottish ceilidh

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Ings is out with a strain That's another 10 mil down the drain, We've been here before , We all know the score, Yet another fucked up campaign. A funny thing happened last night While eating Fry's Turkish Delight"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a bloke called Don Watched Fellini's Satyricon He sat there confused But can be excused He hadn't turned the subtitles on So Ings is out with a strain That's another 10 mil down the drain

[arsene york-hunt]

"A gentleman out in the park Would hide in the bushes till dark. Sitting there in peace, Wearing an eyepiece Studying the works of Plutarch. There once was a bloke called Don Watched Fellini's Satyricon"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A nudist whilst airing his bits Was fondling his neighbour's tits. He started to cringe When he went for her minge - It was covered with scabs, sores and zits. A gentleman out in the park Would hide in the bushes till dark."

[Helmut Shown]

She picked up a bloke from Wood Green Who'd the biggest todger She'd seen The magnificent tube Would need plenty of lube But it'll sure beat flicking her bean A nudist whilst airing his bits Was fondling his neighbour's tits

[arsene york-hunt]

A young girl from Newton le Willows Had semen stains over her pillows It caused her to squirm Realising the sperm. Had been left by her pet armadillos. She picked up a bloke from Wood Green Who'd the biggest todger She'd seen.

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a man from Chippenham, Was eating bogies when pickin'em This horrible feature Of this vile creature Has gone down in the annuls of Christendom * * Chippenham ffs A young girl from Newton le Willows Had semen stains over her pillows"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty old man from Montpelier Had a passion for necrophilia. Was in absolute bliss, When rogering his... Dead next door neighbour Ophelia. There once was a man from Chippenham, Was eating bogies when pickin'em"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty old man from Montpelier Had a passion for necrophilia. Was in absolute bliss, When rogering his... Dead next door neighbour Ophelia. There once was a man from Chippenham, Was eating bogies when pickin'em"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

While hiking in Ban Phan Don He'd an out of control hardon He took a girl to his bed But she was a man instead And just like that it was gone A dirty old man from Montpelier Had a passion for necrophilia

[arsene york-hunt]

"The once was a man from Newport His dick in his zip was caught, The bloke in the main. Felt not too much pain. Because he'd been having a snort. While hiking in Ban Phan Don He'd an out of control hardon"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that the Dean of Dundee, While touring in north Galilee The press are impugning He was caught importuning But he said he was having a wee The once was a man from Newport His dick in his zip was caught"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It is thought from various quarters That the board has disdain for supporters. The stadium move, Means there's nothing to prove Let's nuke them with bombs and with mortars. It's said that the Dean of Dundee, While touring in north Galilee"

[Helmut Shown]

A young prostitute called Mabel. Was asked to shit on a glass table The resultant scatter of brown faecal matter Was something you'd expect in a stable It is thought from various quarters That the board has disdain for supporters

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lady from just south or York Did bung up her minge with a cork. Once pushed up her clout Could not get it out, So her bloke pulled itout with a fork. A young prostitute called Mabel. Was asked to shit on a glass table"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A West Ham defeat, then the sack. To haunt him his taunts have come back. A change of career Could really be near, But not as a punter or hack. A lady from just south or York Did bung up her minge with a cork."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Their managers treated with malice Who next for the poisoned chalice? This cսnt of a rhyme Has me stumped this time The only word that fits is palace. A West Ham defeat, then the sack. To haunt him his taunts have come back."

[Helmut Shown]

The blues have at last pulled the trigger I have to admit a brief snigger Poor little Frankie His tactics are wanky No chance of the forty point figure Their managers treated with malice Who next for the poisoned chalice?

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a gay over-actor, Who purchased a big Chelsea tractor The fruity old thespian Tried pulling a lesbian But the sight of him didn't attract her The blues have at last pulled the trigger I have to admit a brief snigger"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A girl flirted with an old git. He thought that he might get a bit. But he got kicked back Fondling her arse crack, She weren't having any of it. There once was a gay over-actor, Who purchased a big Chelsea tractor"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A catholic priest tried to get, Some young boys on the internet. He'd had quite a few Behind the last pew, But wanted to have the full set. A girl flirted with an old git. He thought that he might get a bit."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was an old man from Crete Arrested for farting in the street. Not so much the fart Dropped hmi in the cart, But the stench which wasn't too sweet. A catholic priest tried to get, Some young boys on the internet"

[Helmut Shown]

I think my stomach ain't right When I look at the state of my shite Speckles of black Exude from my crack And the pan is no longer snow white There was an old man from Crete Arrested for farting in the street