New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

For simple pleasures I'm thanking. Like watching porn when i'm wanking Girl on girl Makes my toes curl As I give my monkey a spanking I think my stomach ain't right When I look at the state of my shite

[arsene york-hunt]

"There’s no need to get so excited Beating a good team I’d be delighted But no hiding it Everton are shit, So don't let us be short sighted. For simple pleasures I'm thanking. Like watching porn when i'm wanking"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old dear from Tibet. At seventy, a virgin yet. A yeti came by Gave her a creampie And wiped his knob on the layette There’s no need to get so excited Beating a good team I’d be delighted"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old dear from Tibet. At seventy, a virgin yet. A yeti came by Gave her a creampie And wiped his knob on the layette There’s no need to get so excited Beating a good team I’d be delighted"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sitting herE at home really bored But, fuck me, I think we have scored Now I'm going insane We've svcored once again That's three fucking points on the board. There was an old dear from Tibet. At seventy, a virgin yet."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sitting herE at home really bored But, fuck me, I think we have scored Now I'm going insane We've svcored once again That's three fucking points on the board. There was an old dear from Tibet. At seventy, a virgin yet."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sitting herE at home really bored But, fuck me, I think we have scored Now I'm going insane We've svcored once again That's three fucking points on the board. There was an old dear from Tibet. At seventy, a virgin yet."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"They just couldn’t make the connection She just couldn’t give him an erection Although she rubbed it red raw It still pointed to the floor Regardless of all that friction Sitting her at home really bored But, fuck me, I think we have scored!"

[Helmut Shown]

"If challenge for rhyming's your style, Then think about this for a while If you’re over eighteen Don’t keep it clean So don’t spare the perv or paedophile They just couldn’t make the connection She just couldn’t give him an erection"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young pervert from Düsseldorf In a cinema was wanking orf. But a young usherette, Cried ""Don't come just yet!"" Just wait till the wind's from the north. If challenge for rhyrming's your style, Then think about this for a while."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Do you think our clowns on the wings Can cross a decent ball to Danny Ings, Is our hapless team able, To push up the table? It's not over 'til Brunhilde sings. A young pervert from Düsseldorf In a cinema was wanking orf"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Graduating from playing ludo, I now am grandmaster at Cluedo Did you know that Professor Plum Used to like it up the bum Fucked by Colonel Mustard's dildo Do you think our clowns on the wings Can cross a decent ball to Danny Ings"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Doris in Bromley-by-Bow Would grind her hips fast...and then slow. Done with such aplomb But pulled off a condom She caught clap and now has a son Joe.. Graduating from playing ludo, I now am grandmaster at Cluedo"

[Mike Oxsaw]

These limericks are hard to rhyme Without getting two at a time. So I simply pass On the ones that are arse And focus on ones which are prime. A Doris in Bromley-by-Bow Would grind her hips fast...and then slow.

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

He was a sad little man on his own He rang young women on the phone The girls he would thank While having a wank A caressing the end of his bone These limericks are hard to rhyme Without getting two at a time

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young woman from Nimes, Had a social disease it would seem She said with a tear ""He poked me up the rear And left me with a bum full of cream"" He was a sad little man on his own He rang young women on the phone"

[arsene york-hunt]

There was an old man from Dunbar Shagged a bint in the back of his car. Coming in her muff Left her up the duff. Then fucked off home to his Ma.

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whilst strolling the banks of the Liffey, The Irishman got a fierce stiffy. He took the thing out, And waved it about Ejaculating in a jiffy. There was a young woman from Nimes, Had a social disease it would seem ."

[Helmut Shown]

Whilst sunning myself on the lido I was approached by a elderly paedo But my old wrinkled body He found to be shoddy And it affected his flagging libido Whilst strolling on the banks of the Liffey The Irishman got a fierce stiffy He knew it a sin Pulled back his foreskin But the stench from his knob was too whiffy There was an old man from Dunbar Shagged a bint in the back of his car

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On a bicycle made for two The girl at the back smelt poo. Her partner up front Is clearly a cսnt; He farted and then followed through. Whilst strolling the banks of the Liffey, The Irishman got a fierce stiffy."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On a bicycle made for two The girl at the back smelt poo. Her partner up front Is clearly a cսnt; He farted and then followed through. Whilst strolling the banks of the Liffey, The Irishman got a fierce stiffy."

[Helmut Shown]

"The priest gave the lad altar wine Then started to stroke his behind His behaviour? Quite heinous Worse still, thumb up anus Now in the Scrubs he's confined On a bicycle made for two The girl at the back smelt poo"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

The priest gave the lad altar wine Then started to stroke his behind The dirty old vicar's hand went in his knickers At that point the young lad declined Whilst sunning myself on the lido I was approached by a elderly paedo

[arsene york-hunt]

"At church I was sat in a pew, As I thought that was what one should do Then came a stench, violent, Some sod farted, silent,. Quite unsporting, between me and you. The priest gave the lad altar wine Then started to stroke his behind"

[arsene york-hunt]

"At church I was sat in a pew, As I thought that was what one should do Then came a stench, violent, Some sod farted, silent,. Quite unsporting, between me and you. The priest gave the lad altar wine Then started to stroke his behind"