New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"I once knew a dirty old strumpet Who loved to eat spunk on a crumpet, And with bread wiped her arse, Having shat in a glass, While practicing scales on her trumpet. Bad Luck or bent refs? Not a bit We're where we are cos we are shit."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Everton are not worth a wank But i sense a victory for fat Frank With a tear in his eye He'll look to the sky That you can take to the bank I once knew a dirty old strumpet Who loved to eat spunk on a crumpet

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Everton are not worth a wank But i sense a victory for fat Frank With a tear in his eye He'll look to the sky That you can take to the bank I once knew a dirty old strumpet Who loved to eat spunk on a crumpet

[Helmut Shown]

"If he's not sacked I think I oughta, Resign as a West Ham supporter His selections they smell He keeps playing Cresswell He might as well select his daughter Everton are not worth a wank But i sense a victory for fat Frank"

[arsene york-hunt]

"You go to a food bank to eat Then out to sleep on the street. It's OK in the summer, But a bit of a bummer In winter with frostbite on your feet If he's not sacked I think I oughta, Resign as a West Ham supporter"

[Helmut Shown]

A girl from Sierra Leone Picked up punters on her iphone And to add to the fun Thursday's two for one Around these parts she's well known You go to a food bank to eat Then out to sleep on the street

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lusty young wench from Alberta Was famed for being a squirter Did not want to get My underlothes wet, So finished her with a frankfurter. A girl from Sierra Leone Picked up punters on her iphone"

[Helmut Shown]

I went out with the office slapper And gave her one in the pub crapper She started to frown As I went down So she pissed all over my napper A lusty young wench from Alberta Was famed for being a squirter

[arsene york-hunt]

"A handbag, a Michael Kors Was enough to remove her drawers, For a Timex watch, She'd let you lick her crotch, But beware, she's covered with sores. I went out with the office slapper And gave her one in the pub crapper"

[Helmut Shown]

"I know it doesn't sound right Eating apples with Marmite Don't do it by half A guaranteed barf In you mouth there's a taste of shite A handbag, a Michael Kors Was enough to remove her drawers"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a young girl called Grace Had spunk all over her face She started off jogging But ended up dogging Now that is a way to debase I know it doesn't sound right Eating apples with Marmite

[arsene york-hunt]

"If Everton lose their next game Will Lampard be sent home in shame, He has loyalty, And integrity, But that's his Dad. Is he to blame? There was a young girl called Grace Had spunk all over her face"

[Helmut Shown]

The sign that Christmas's complete Is no more Quality Street When toffee pennies are gone It’s time to start on Highland shortbread for your daily treat If Everton lose their next game Will Lampard be sent home in shame

[Helmut Shown]

The sign that Christmas's complete Is no more Quality Street When toffee pennies are gone It’s time to start on Highland shortbread for your daily treat If Everton los their next game Will Lampard be sent home in shame

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Cuntish things that for fashion passes Blokes with their strides below their arses But what really rankles Are trousers above ankles and in winter wearing sunglasses The sign that Christmas's complete Is no more Quality Street

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Cuntish things that for fashion passes Blokes with their strides below their arses But what really rankles Are trousers above ankles and in winter wearing sunglasses The sign that Christmas's complete Is no more Quality Street

[arsene york-hunt]

"Trump was up to his capers Now Biden's been caught with same papers, Those in politics Are self serving pricks. Recruited by the barrel scrapers. Cuntish things that for fashion passes Blokes with their strides below their arses"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A young Frenchman who came from Medoc Had a gnat bite on the end of his cock He thought the madamoiselles Would like it when it swells And it made it hard as a rock Trump was up to his capers Now Biden's been caught with same papers

[Helmut Shown]

"This bird had a well leaky muff, She packed it with towels and stuff No words need be spoken Her waters have broken I didn't know she was even up the duff A young Frenchman who came from Medoc Had a gnat bite on the end of his cock"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Met my boss at a swingers evening, And his wife a fat ugly old thing But I had to come, 'cos his wife is my mum. I've said my goodbyes, now I'm leaving. This bird had a well leaky muff, She packed it with towels and stuff"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will they give Moyes more cash to buy? Should he be left high and dry? It would be a hoot If given the boot, Things just couldn't go more awry. Met my boss at a swingers evening, And his wife a fat ugly old thing"

[Helmut Shown]

"No sign of our season improving, No wins, a few draws and much losing. If you don't attack And are shit at the back And wonder why the fans are abusing Will they give Moyes more cash to buy? Should he be left high and dry?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The stick that is aimed at Prince Harry Is down to the cսnt he did marry. They've dropped a few clangers, But she's got some nice bangers, And takes it, I bet, up the Gary. No sign of our season improving, No wins, a few draws and much losing."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"FIrst Glen Roeder then Avran Grant, Next Moyesie? No surely we can't It's what we all fear As the drop gets near 'Fuck off you cսnt' we will chant The stick that is aimed at Prince Harry Is down to the cսnt he did marry"

[arsene york-hunt]

"One - nil against Brentford reserves Not what a diehard deserves We're still in the cup, But we'll soon fuck up. It's starting to get on me nerves. FIrst Glen Roeder then Avran Grant, Next Moyesie? No surely we can't"