New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Bending her over without any lube He was deep in her Fallopian tube She cried out in pain ""Never again! His helmet is shaped like a cube!"" One - nil against Brentford reserves Not what a diehard deserves"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I'm afraid that our manager David Moyes Produces the football that annoys His ten at the back will get him the sack For the dour brand of footie he employs Bending her over without any lube He was deep in her Fallopian tube

[Helmut Shown]

The last time I went to the loo I dropped the most horrible poo A diet of curry Produced this vile slurry As I heave and try not to spew I'm afraid that our manager David Moyes Produces the football that annoys

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

For washing ladies undies onboard. Hundred a week ( All I can afford) But I have to watch When sniffing a crotch As many would think it untoward The last time I went to the loo I dropped the most horrible poo

[arsene york-hunt]

"Potholes in the road now the norm County politicians true to form But projects insane Like changing Black Boy Lane, Only then can the fuckers perform. For woshing ladies undies onboard. Hundred a week ( All I can afford)."

[Helmut Shown]

The news that our Gareth has quit To be honest I don't give a shit Played for the y*ds Played golf and earned quids What's to like 'bout the sheep shagging git? Potholes in the road now the norm County politicians true to form

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In a posh café, ordering a tart She let off a very loud fart Her pants were a quiver from an expelled piece of liver As well as a bit of her heart The news that our Gareth has quit To be honest I don't give a shit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"These tossers who follow things royal, I think they need boiling in oil, If I had my way They'd de swept away, The Monarchy makes my blood boil. In a posh café, ordering a tart She let off a very loud fart"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm thinking of buying a drone, My voyeuristic skills to hone It might give you closure On indecent exposure Or breathing heavy on the phone These tossers who follow things royal, I think they need boiling in oil"

[arsene york-hunt]

"If the Moyes situation gets hotter Then I think the answer is Potter That fucking Klopp slob Could be out of a job, But I wouldn't want such a rotter. I'm thinking of buying a drone, My voyeuristic skills to hone"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was an old bloke from Kings Lynn, Was bitten by a dog on his shin The incident occurred When the filthy old turd Was slipping his large penis in If the Moyes situation gets hotter Then I think the answer is Potter"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was an old bloke from Kings Lynn, Was bitten by a dog on his shin The incident occurred When the filthy old turd Was slipping his large penis in If the Moyes situation gets hotter Then I think the answer is Potter"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Walking down Southend sea front Her dress blew up showing her cսnt, ,Wearing an arse plug And looking very smug A puliic decency affront There was an old bloke from Kings Lynn, Was bitten by a dog on his shin."

[Helmut Shown]

We've beaten the Bees as we speak I'd sooner have stuffed 'em last week We‚Äôre deep in this hole As we can‚Äôt score a goal Our defence continues to leak Walking down Southend sea front Her dress blew up showing her cսnt (Back to normality)

[arsene york-hunt]

"Mike Oxsaw and Arsene york-hunt are struggling for ideas, to be blunt (I'm waiting swt) My dear HMJ Are you trying to say, That I'm some kind of poetic cսnt. We've beaten the Bees as we speak I'd sooner have stuffed 'em last week. Or would you prefer some filth?"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"It would be just our luck Winning when no one gives a fuck But au contraire I really do care But should Millwall win it would suck Mike Oxsaw and Arsene york-hunt are struggling for ideas, to be blunt (I'm waiting swt)"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The knob-cheese that covered his dick, From half a mile made you feel sick. The bloke, mostly drunk Smelt worse thean a skunk. The fucking bloke gets on my wick. I tt would be just our luck Winning when no one gives a fuck."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I've got a feeling tomorrow the Bees Will bring our sad lot to their knees. But I really don't care, 'cos we're already there. As ev'ryone in footballing sees The knob-cheese that covered his dick, From half a mile made you feel sick."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"He was recruited to MI 6, After being caught sucking blokes dicks His name was Bond And was particularly fond Of the cheese he found in their pricks Ive got a feeling tomorrow the Bees Will bring our sad lot to their knees"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm off to the UK in the morn To visit the place i was born Happy will I be, In Jaywick on Sea, Home cooking and internet porn. He was recruited to MI 6, After being caught sucking blokes dicks"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A point every game will be tough And likely it won’t be enough But when May has arrived And we have survived Then I'll go down on K. Brady's muff I'm off to the UK in the morn To visit the place i was born

[,]

A chap from the north of Peru Did fart and then follow right through. At high altitude This is held to be rude Especially in Machu Picchu. A point every game will be tough And likely it won’t be enough

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man from Balblair Found crabs in his pubic hair. And stuck up his arse Was a cock made of glass, But nobody knows why it's there. A chap from the north of Peru Did fart and then follow right through."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was once an old bloke from Corfu, Found a lump of dog shit in his shoe But being perverted His foot he inserted Luxuriating in the hot poo There was an old man from Balblair Found crabs in his pubic hair"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's YOUR fault - and not ever mine We're deep in the shit all the time. The typical scouse, Said in the nuthouse. ""You lot of cunts think we're all slime"". There was once an old bloke from Corfu, Found a lump of dog shit in his shoe"