New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"I fancy a sandwich with cheese, Tomato & lettuce? Yes please! Feeling a bit laddish? Try beef and horseradish All good for arterial disease A young girl from Inverness Walked round in a state of undress"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Drought then the pissing rain, Will it ever be normal again? A pattern is forming It's called Global Warming. Deny it, you're labeled insane. I fancy a sandwich with cheese, Tomato & lettuce? Yes please!"

[Helmut Shown]

"The Dutch ladyboys, it is said, Excel when they're giving head But if this story you follow The gayboys don't swallow It makes such a mess in the bed Drought then the pissing rain, Will it ever be normal again?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man working in Merchant Banking, On a business trip once to Nang King. Bought short and sold long, And nothing went wrong, From his bosses came nothing but thanking. The Dutch ladyboys, it is said, Excel when they're giving head"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man working in Merchant Banking, On a business trip once to Nang King. Bought short and sold long, And nothing went wrong, From his bosses came nothing but thanking. The Dutch ladyboys, it is said, Excel when they're giving head"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man called Terry Busting to go, on a ferry, He thought what the heck, And shat on the deck, And claimed he had got dysentery. A man working in Merchant Banking, On a business trip once to Nang King"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a fairly old codger His party trick, sucking his todger. But he does it no more He’s found a new whore Who he’s taken in as a lodger There was a young man called Terry Busting to go, on a ferry"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The stars in the sky like to twinkle, And I like to play with my winkle. My Y-fronts get soiled But I don't need them boiled, I use Sunlight, with little green spinkles. There once was a fairly old codger His party trick, sucking his todger."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Hunt Who once caused a public affront He once drove a train, But all was in vain, As all he achieved was a shunt. The stars in the sky like to twinkle, And I lake to play with my winkle."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The mini skirt rose up her thigh, But she kept on walking on by. Was strolling along, Exposing her thong, A magnificent sight to descry. There was a young man called Hunt Who once caused a public affront (Easy Enough?)"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Her belly hung down at the front Her fanny has become a large gunt, And as for her tits, All covered with zits, But her legs would make a great punt. The mini skirt rose up her thigh, But she kept on walking on by."

[Helmut Shown]

"An atheist Pakistani, Was caught eating a bacon sarnie Other crimes he admitted Satanic music not permitted Piano songs played by Reg Varney* * You don’t make these rhymes easy! Her belly hung down at the front Her fanny has become a large gunt"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Let's all celebrate Halloween, With goblin witches obscene, Yes, let's all be pricks, And copy septics, Our cultures fuck'd, know what I mean? An atheist Pakistani, Was caught eating a bacon sarnie."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A french girl from near Champ de Mars, Sold sex in the back of blokes cars. And, when they went home, She wasn't alone, 'Cos she moved her fat arse to the bars. Let's all celebrate Halloween, With goblin witches obscene"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady called Kim Farted while he ate out her quim. The stench of her methane, Made him say things profane. She no longer goes out with him A french girl from near Champ de Mars, Sold sex in the back of blokes cars."

[Helmut Shown]

"She squatted right down for a piss, But somehow she managed to miss Her knickers got wet As she had a split jet When pulled up there’s something amiss There was a young lady called Kim Farted while he ate out her quim"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When is a foul not a foul With these refs you throw in the towel Against us they're legal, Some even say ""Regal"" But by us they all start to growl. She squatted right down for a piss, But somehow she managed to miss"

[Helmut Shown]

Amazon Prime's cov'rage v LIverpool Experts? two birds and an ex-scouse tool Unemployable uneducated dolts Not fit for Millwall colts Perhaps send them back to school When is a foul not a foul With these refs you throw in the towel

[arsene york-hunt]

Ooops That should read: Amazon Prime's cov'rage v LIverpool Experts? two birds and an ex-scouse tools

[arsene york-hunt]

"This obsession kids have with Hallowe'en American bollocks, it's obscene Baby showers school proms, Spelling mums as MOMS, Churned out on a British TV screen. The BT cov'rage v LIverpool Experts? two birds and an ex-scouse tool"

[Helmut Shown]

"You have to be black, raspb'rry or gay, To get seen on the telly today And on that basis If you're white you're a racist And descended from slavers they say This obsession kids have with Hallowe'en American bollocks, it's obscene"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Penzance Walked round with a turd in his pants It gives me a big a kick, Self shitting in public. He told the Bill at Havant, Hants. You have to be black, raspb'rry or gay, To get seen on the telly today"

[Helmut Shown]

"In the corps de ballet last year, A dancer was feeling quite queer A young man of age Was taken backstage And he took him right up the rear There was a young man from Penzance Walked round with a turd in his pants"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As our attack advances We get a shitload of chances, We mostly fuck up, In the league or cup, No matter the circumstances. In the corps de ballet last year, A dancer was feeling quite queer"

[Helmut Shown]

VAR said it wasn't handball From them we mostly get fuck all. Imagine the dismay Watching us play That cսnt Dean doing the trawl As our attack advances We get a shitload of chances