New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young lady who came from Belgrade When she had sex, liked to be paid. Felching, golden shower? Charging by the half hour, A price list was clearly displayed. There was a young geezer called Tony Went behind a bush for a pony."

[Helmut Shown]

"Drinking too much was quite iffy. Now in bed he can't get a stiffy He balled up his fist And had one off the wrist And it sorted it out in a jiffy A young lady who came from Belgrade When she had sex, liked to be paid"

[arsene york-hunt]

"England’s footballing shame Nobody but Southgate to blame, Everyone knows it, Internatinonals? Shit Fuck watching so boring a game. Drinking too much was quite iffy. Now in bed he can't get a stiffy"

[Helmut Shown]

"Housing migrants is a load of cack, Why can we not send the cunts back? No matter how unsavoury I’d sell them to slavery Make them build new railway track England’s footballing shame Nobody but Southgate to blame"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've seen some strange things in my time, Like grannies po-going to grime, We should not pooh-pooh, It's something to do, And keeps them off the streets doing crime. Housing migrants is a load of cack, Why can we not send the cunts back?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The ladyboy had a tantrum Knocked the phone from some northern bum, He was so short of work, He'd give you a jerk, For the price of a small tot of rum. I've seen some strange things in my time, Like grannies po-going to grime"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our football drives me insane But Moyes treats us with disdain, Our tactics he's botching, I'll Take up bird watching. Oh look! I've just spotted a crane. The ladyboy had a tantrum Knocked the phone from some northern bum, ."

[Helmut Shown]

"Joe Public, who goes out to work Has to pay for all those who shirk Investors and bankers And public school wankers Have a tax cut you upper crust berk! Our football drives me insane But Moyes treats us with disdain"

[arsene york-hunt]

"David Cameron ex Tory bigwig Did something strange with a pig, There's those who would scoff, At this ex-Eton toff, But me, I just don't give a fig. Joe Public, who goes out to work Has to pay for all those who shirk."

[arsene york-hunt]

"David Cameron ex Tory bigwig Did something strange with a pig, There's those who would scoff, At this ex-Eton toff, But me, I just don't give a fig. Joe Public, who goes out to work Has to pay for all those who shirk."

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that if you've a big bonce, You'll probably turn out a nonce With young lads and young gals Hired out to royal pals You'd make a fortune you ponce David Cameron ex Tory bigwig Did something strange with a pig"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"What sets some women apart Is the sneaky way that they fart No volcanic roar When they clear the floor Sounds more like a dropped strawberry tart. It's said that if you've a big bonce, You'll probably turn out a nonce."

[Helmut Shown]

Property of the LCC Now wash your hands please you'd see. No paper was rougher Having piles you'd suffer Girls would get chafed when they'd pee What sets some women apart Is the sneaky way that they fart

[arsene york-hunt]

"The advert said ""Needed! New Queen."" Which seemed to create quite a scene, Elton John had retired, George Michael expired. So they needed a new cash machine. Property of the LLC. Now wash your hands please you'd see."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A prince of the realm in reflection Had a thought and got an erection. It was, all in all. Really quite small, That happens, with natural selection. The advert said ""Needed! New Queen."" Which seemed to create quite a scene"

[Helmut Shown]

"Throwing flowers at the fun'ral procession, It's this silly Diana obsession They’re dead as a duck So who gives a fuck? The florist who had the concession? A prince of the realm in reflection Had a thought and got an erection"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man called Keith When shagging would not wear a sheath, This half baked chap, Got a dose of the clap, And chancres on his ""underneath."" Throwing flowers at the fun'ral procession, It's this silly Diana obsesson"

[Helmut Shown]

How long after the Queen is dead. 'Til the coins come with King Charlie's head? As everyone fears Is there room for his ears? Perhaps show his missus instead There was a young man called Keith When shagging would not wear a sheath

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man got his first shag In the back of a Mark 10 Jag, When the job was complete, Wiped his knob on the seat, And lit a post coital fag. How long after the Queen is dead. 'Til the coins come with King Charlie's head?"

[Helmut Shown]

A young man was playing a bugle In Glasgow suburb Auchenshugle His musical revels Broke decibel levels You can see his arrest on Google A young man got his first shag In the back of a Mark 10 Jag

[arsene york-hunt]

"The queue for the queen was not magic, So, tomorrow I plan to go sick, A bunch of silly cocks Queuing to see a box My old lady told me I was tragic. A young man was playing a bugle In Glasgow suburb Auchenshugle"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Whilst stood in Her Majesty's queue, I suddenly needed to poo. The solution to that, Was a young policeman's hat. But I doubt that he ever new. The queue for the queen was not magic, So, tomorrow I plan to go sick"

[arsene york-hunt]

"'Gainst Everton I have just seen Who's running VAR? Mike Dean If this cսnt I met, From me he would get, A mouthful of expletives obscene. When flying once: London to Rome I suddenly realised, at home, I experienced, you see Much anxiety I had forgot to pack my comb. Whilst stood in Her Majesty's queue, I suddenly needed to poo."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The dirt supporting Liverpool Do not show respect as a rule. But, hub-caps and fash, Thet admire in a flwash, and also think Shell Suits are cool When flying once: London to Rome I suddenly realised, at home"

[Helmut Shown]

The dirt supporting Liverpool Do not show respect as a rule. They're scum and perhaps They'll steal your hubcaps They're manager's also a tool 'Gainst Everton I have just seen Who's running VAR? Mike Dean