"People who can sleep within 8 seconds of head hitting pillow, how the fuck do you do this?"

[Mr Anon]

"My brain has decided it's no longer a thing I'm allowed to do, ""oh you're tired, well you're not any more? ""Oh you were relaxed? Well now I'm going to elevate your heart rate for a laugh"" ""oh you have no worries? Well here's a hundred things to think about.' I know the basics, no screen time before bed, room and work separate, exercise and no caffeine too late. Nothing working. Doctors are useless too, apparently sleeping pills are being stockpiled for a rainy day or something. Any other tips??"

[Steady]

"Have half a bottle or a full bottle of red wine and then head to bed about 1am, your head will hit the pillow and you’ll be out in seconds"

[joyo]

bruuuno 10.08...you sleep with your sister? Which one of you incested on that?

[Vexed]

Stick a headphone in and listen to a podcast you want to listen to. Guarantee you'll fall asleep and not remember any of it in the morning.

[bruuuno]

"Agree with the OP, hate these cunts. My sister is like it always has been"

[marty feldman]

I wish I knew the trick . I cannot sleep beyond 4 in the morning. And even then I'm listening to podcasts all night. All in all I sleep for about 3 hours a night. I can't even blame it on the hammers lLOL .

[joe royal]

"Swap jobs with me, after driving rock n roll trucks for the past 15 years I can fall asleep on a clothes line. The problem is staying asleep much over 4/5 hours, and trying not to nod off early afternoon."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When I was working (as opposed to being benefit poncing scum) I used to find that jotting down a list of everything I'd planned to do that day, but didn't, helped; it was as if my mind was determined to make sure I'd not forget them but once they were written down ready for the morning, I had nothing to remember, so dropped of fairly quickly."

[Side of Ham]

You also said you don’t know if it helps or not Manny you fanny…..you just didn’t need to call it out as bollocks silly boy….

[Manuel]

"Side - Yea, but it's not to help me sleep you daft cսnt, as I said it's 'coz I reside in a hot country so I need to take one. Showering before going to bed is more likely to keep you awake if anything. I might start reading your posts in bed, like Nutsin does :-)"

[Gaffer58]

"No problem sleeping when watching West Ham, it’s usually so bloody boring that I drop off within 2 minutes of the kickoff."

[Side of Ham]

"Hahaha Manuel, didn’t you state earlier how you always take a shower before bed?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I found lighting quite helpful - dim the lights gradually, starting a few hours before you go to bed. Apparently this tricks the human brain into thinking it's sunset and all sorts of chemicals are released into the bloodstream to aid going to sleap. Obviously if you're living in a squat in an abandoned lock-up, falling asleep surrounded by a few burning candles could be an issue, so the preferred solution in that case is banging an under-aged Cambodian raspberry, then walking manfully away without paying her."

[Manuel]

Stubbo 5:31 Sun Jan 7 I lost the will to live reading that old bollocks.

[stubbo]

"Things that have worked for me: 1. Make a list of stuff just before bed that's on the mind. 2. Yoga Nidra (can find on Spotify or YouTube) done just before going up to bed...awesome for deep relaxation. 3. A fiction-based audiobook on that you're interested in, set to play for 30mins when going to bed. 4. If that doesn't work, stop trying to sleep and put said audiobook on with the deliberate intention of listening for 2 hours. The enemy of falling asleep is being aware of your own desire to be asleep. You can't 'make' it happen...just have to create the conditions where it does happen....being relaxed and distracted is the way to do that. Oh and make sure the bedroom is very dark, and not hot. A shower just before bed is a good thing too."

[zico]

cheers Hammer.

[Hammer I am]

"Zico, Yeah you have my sympathy! Was awful enough for weeks let alone years, glad you got it sorted mate"

[jfk]

Pukka (brand) night time blissful rest teabags doubled up make it easier for me to nut out. Definitely better sleep not boozing.

[jfk]

Pukka (brand) night time blissful rest teabags doubled up make it easier for me to nut out. Definitely better sleep not boozing.

[zico]

"Hammer I am 4:09 Sun Jan 7 Imagine it for two years!! Videoed myself at one point overnight and my mouth would open like a death gasp, looked horrific. Was always on that cusp between dropping off and sleep. Would either be an electric shock to the head or loud bang. Remember laughing when I had a sleep apnoea test. There I was with all these leads, oximeter and something up my nose and I'm thinking I can't sleep in my own bloody bed let alone wired up like some science fiction movie!"

[Hammer I am]

"Zico- I've had that it's horrific! Once it was for a week after Glastonbury - fair enough my fault too many pills, second time was when I was weening myself off Setraline and went on for a good few weeks- so I guess it has something to do with serotonin levels"

[zico]

"Few years back I started jolting awake just as I was dropping off due to like an electrical zap to the head. Exploding Head Syndrome apparently. Thus started two years of not being able to sleep without sleeping tablets. Had tests for Sleep Apnoea etc and nothing was found. Couldn't use the tablets every night so it was a nightmare, literally. Then one night two years later on a night I didn't have a tablet I fell asleep naturally, and bizarrely was then fine and touch wood haven't had the issue since. My mind obviously relaxed because I ""could"" fall asleep, all very weird. I was advised to read this book. It didn't help me but you never know. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00NBDEAIQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1"

[goose]

Pickle deffo got bummed by a priest when he was growing up.

[goose]

"People also ask Does ZMA make you sleep more? ZMA tablets have the ability to make the consumer sleepy and drowsy. Therefore, people who have trouble falling asleep are advised to take ZMA. If you are also tired of staying awake at night for no particular reason, then a ZMA supplement may also help you enjoy peaceful sleep again."

[Hammer and Pickle]

"If you‚Äôre a useless cսnt but try to blame it on someone to try to get some sleep, I hear confession plus masturbation is a common practice."

[goose]

Hammer I am - yeh I’m not completely sure of the science but my old PT recommend it years ago. Stuff used to knock me out but also gives you pretty vivid dreams.