New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our defence was a shambles again I forecast we’ll have further pain In Moyesie we trust, But it's now shit or bust, We're right up the creek, that's plain. The dirt supporting Liverpool Do not show respect as a rule."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a man from Leigh on Sea. Who urgently wanted to pee As he drained off the dregs It dribbled down his legs All the way down to his knee Our defence was a shambles again I forecast we’ll have further pain

[arsene york-hunt]

"An exhibitionist seeking some action Went on Naked Attraction, The first one rejected, 'Cos his dick erected, He's now in the Red Army Faction. There was a man from Leigh on Sea. Who urgently wanted to pee."

[arsene york-hunt]

"An exhibitionist seeking some action Went on Naked Attraction, The first one rejected, 'Cos his dick erected, He's now in the Red Army Faction. There was a man from Leigh on Sea. Who urgently wanted to pee."

[Helmut Shown]

"The losers are still chasing Trump, Their failures must give them the hump There is a good reason He's committed high treason How did they elect this chump? An exhibitionist seeking some action Went on Naked Attraction"

[Helmut Shown]

"The losers are still chasing Trump, Their failures must give them the hump There is a good reason He's committed high treason How did they elect this chump? An exhibitionist seeking some action Went on Naked Attraction"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Letu us write a new football song About Kane looking like a mong. Include in these deeds His clear special needs... Afraid it will be very long. The losers are still chasing Trump, Their failures must give them the hump."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There's nothing I think more obscene Than the scousers booing the queen It may sound quite rum, But they're all fucking scum, Thieving, whining and unclean. Letu us write a new football song About Kane looking like a mong"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a young man called Finch Whose cock measured less than an inch A pretty young whore Said, 'ave yer got anymore' Not much, just an eighth more at a pinch There's nothing I think more obscene Than the scousers booing the queen"

[Helmut Shown]

"Son Heung-min when once really brassic, Ate his pet dog, it made him feel sick. He gave out a groan Fell like a stone They thought he was feigning, the prick There was a young man called Finch Whose cock measured less than an inch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After having a rather big curry My bowels produced a slurry, Champagne cork from my hole Then a pebble dashed bowl. Bursting forth with a soothing flurry. Son Heung-min when once really brassic, Ate his pet dog, it made him feel sick."

[Helmut Shown]

"Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, Was regarded by some as a berk Whilst doing his job He'd whip out his knob And ask a minion for a jerk After having a rather big curry My bowels produced a slurry"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The champagne smashed into the boat, And everyone hoped it would float, A magnificent vessel, The SMS Horst Wessel, Aboard were the crew and a goat. Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, Was regarded by some as a berk."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man from Leicester His hobby? Young women he’d pester A change of malaise, Found him chasing gays And fishermen in a sou'wester. The champagne smashed into the boat, And everyone hoped it would float"

[Helmut Shown]

"Teddy boys making too much noise, At a concert of the Dallas Boys With puddlesucker shoes And drainpipe trews I found them lacking in poise There was an old man from Leicester His hobby? Young women he’d pester"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On holiday while laid on the beach He spotted a bum like a peach, But erecting his tool, Broke a nudist beach rule, And caused some young ladies to screech. Teddy boys making too much noise, At a concert of the Dallas Boys ,"

[Helmut Shown]

To sit on the pot and not shit. You've got to be some sort of git You sit masturbating A woman is waiting Desperately holding her split On holiday while laid on the beach He spotted a bum like a peach

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Our new monarch Charlie the third. Had squeezed out a big floating turd. And, as head of state, He curled it out late, And as such he had the last word. To sit on the pot and not shit. You've got to be some sort of git."

[arsene york-hunt]

"It is said having one of the wrist Is like somebody fucking their fist, The good lady wife. Gives nothing but strife Your fist though, would be sorely missed. Our new monarch Charlie the third. Had squeezed out a big floating turd."

[Helmut Shown]

"Some posters on here simply whine, And feel as responses that's fine. Some of the pricks Spout politics As we watch the standards decline It is said having one of the wrist Is like somebody fucking their fist"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Nick Witchell the obsequious creep Enough to send a brick to sleep And now, it would seem, Has a full head of steam, As many just cry, sob and weep. Some posters on here simply whine, And feel as responses that's fine."

[Helmut Shown]

"That tramp was a fucking disgrace, Had piss stains all over his face In a doorway while sleeping Some yobbos came creeping And covered him in urine's embrace Nick Witchell the obsequious creep Enough to send a brick to sleep"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While I practised my butterfly I noticed a turd float by. And, stuck on it's back, Was a Union Jack For what? I've no idea why. That tramp was a fucking disgrace, Had piss stains all over his face"

[Helmut Shown]

"By Loch Ness I was camping one night. When I had a most terrible fright I lit a fag when i started Having a shit, then I farted And set my poor arsehole alight While I practised my butterfly I noticed a turd float by"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The greens are now not saying much On energy matters and such. The poor voter choice, Leaves no cause to rejoice, I really miss Screaming Lord Sutch. By Loch Ness I was camping one night. When I had a most terrible fright"