New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In an automatic toilet in Dumfries The door opened, her drawers round her knees The stench that came out, Was, without a doubt, The thing that killed off all the trees. The greens are now not saying much On energy matters and such."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In an automatic toilet in Dumfries The door opened, her drawers round her knees The stench that came out, Was, without a doubt, The thing that killed off all the trees. The greens are now not saying much On energy matters and such."

[Helmut Shown]

"The Dollar is roaring ahead, While Sterling slips into the red. Tax cuts for the rich From the new Tory bitch And her cabinet fills me with dread In an automatic toilet in Dumfries The door opened, her drawers round her knees"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"That scummy ex Chelsea kraut chap, Looked a cսnt in his baseball cap. As a nod to the Yank, It weren't worth a wank, Who gave him a royal bitch-slap. The Dollar is roaring ahead, While Sterling slips into the red."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A gay boy from Shoeburyness Would often go out in a dress, This perverted turd Claims he is a bird, In fact he's a deluded mess. That scummy ex Chelsea kraut chap, Looked a cսnt in his baseball cap"

[Helmut Shown]

"On the tube an old lady Dora, Exposed her labia minora. As the train stopped at Bank She started to wank And cum as she came into Borough* A gay boy from Shoeburyness Would often go out in a dress * near enough?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A man with a very big cock Would get it out, down by the dock. He'd do masturbation, After ejaculation, He'd wipe himself with an old sock. On the tube an old lady Dora, Exposed her labia minora."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A lesbian lady from Cheam Had a very strange sexual regime. She'd walk to the door, Then crap on the floor, And post it on-line as a meme. A man with a very big cock Would get it out, down by the dock."

[Helmut Shown]

"Keep them locked in old army camps, No heating and hurricane lamps. Flog them each day And they might go away or hang them to the wall with steel clamps A lesbian lady from Cheam Had a very strange sexual regime"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Despite an economy stingy, They still stream across in a dinghy, I've tried a long time, To make something rhyme, With shit words orangey or mingey, Keep them locked in old army camps, No heating and hurricane lamps."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The Tories still looking downcast Each leader is worse than the last Their barrel's not empty, They've arse-holes a-plenty Our good times are long in the past. Despite an economy stingy, They still stream across in a dinghy"

[Helmut Shown]

My prick is a social construct. These wokists their minnions instruct. To think that my junk Would cause all this bunk I tell you this country's fucked The Tories still looking downcast Each leader is worse than the last

[arsene york-hunt]

*minions

[arsene york-hunt]

"So now we have A PM called Truss, How long till she stirs up a fuss? Both parties are a joke No-one speaks for the bloke Sitting on the Clapham omnibus. My prick is a social construct. These wokists their minnions instruct."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"So the refs have put up their hands The three points to Chelsea still stands. They've said they were wrong, Now, please move along, As the PL still sticks to it's plans. So now we have A PM called Truss, How long till she stirs up a fuss?"

[Helmut Shown]

"Some posters just blandly go fishing, Then sit there just hoping and wishing. I'd rather concussion Than have a discussion On the claptrap these people are dishing So the refs have put up their hands The three points to Chelsea still stands"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young maid from St. Kitts Had piercings in most of her bits From her eyelids hung rings, Her nose - other things, And a pair of church bells from her tits. Some posters just blandly go fishing, Then sit there just hoping and wishing."

[Helmut Shown]

"And on Match of the Day the ""pundits,"" Were enraged by the V.A.R. shits, It’s not the machine It’s the hand of Mike Dean Plus a bunch of compliant fuckwits There was a young maid from St. Kitts Had piercings in most of her bits"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The FA must be brought to book They’re bent as a shepherd’s crook' And just like his flock, We're arse-fucked by their cock. Do they give a toss, do they fook. And on Match of the Day the ""pundits,"" Were enraged by the V.A.R. shits,"

[Helmut Shown]

Today's VAR ref was an affront Where do they dig up such a cսnt. Northerners to a man Executing Dean‚Äôs plan To keep the top six up the front The FA must be brought to book They‚Äôre bent as a shepherd‚Äôs crook

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lady from the Isle of Wight Sold her body on the docks at night, On tow, had a nipper, Her minge stunk like kipper And she was a quite frightful sight. Today's VAR ref was an affront Where do they dig up such a cսnt."

[Helmut Shown]

"The fourbees are easy to mock, Their badge is a little black cock. The retard up front is a five star cսnt And Son eats dog from a wok A lady from the Isle of Wight Sold her body on the docks at night"

[Helmut Shown]

"The fourbees are easy to mock, Their badge is a little black cock. The retard up front is a five star cսnt And Son eats dog from a wok A lady from the Isle of Wight Sold her body on the docks at night"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think we should give short shrift To the bastards that fart in a lift, It is a simple truth, The cunts are uncouth, They make me feel very miffed. The fourbees are easy to mock, Their badge is a little black cock."

[Helmut Shown]

"In a khazy in Mogadishu, Had a shit but there was no tissue But a trick that won’t fail Use your shirt tail In Somalia the smell’s not an issue I think we should give short shrift To the bastards that fart in a lift"