West Ham Online

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

"A ladyboy who looks divine, Takes referrals from westhamonline For monies rendered His butthole surrendered No wonder this site's in decline Truss or Sunak, what a choice! Neither would make me rejoice"

"My puppy has crapped on the floor I don't think I want it no more, Vet's charge is too high So I'll go DIY. And bash the cսnt's head in the door. A ladyboy who looks divine, Takes referrals from westhamonline"

"He wanked watching dirty pics, From a website called Chicks With Dicks. But he had a child bride As a bit on the side Who'd flash him with classic bean flicks My puppy has crapped on the floor I don't think I want it no more"

"No wonder all here are dismal Our close season? Fucking abysmal. Possesion we aint got, Great football, it's not, What's needed? Something cataclysmal. He wanked watching dirty pics, From a website called Chicks With Dicks."

"No wonder all here are dismal Our close season? Fucking abysmal. Possesion we aint got, Great football, it's not, What's needed? Something cataclysmal. He wanked watching dirty pics, From a website called Chicks With Dicks."

"No wonder all here are dismal Our close season? Fucking abysmal. Possesion we aint got, Great football, it's not, What's needed? Something cataclysmal. He wanked watching dirty pics, From a website called Chicks With Dicks."

An old bloke that I met down the pub. Asked me to join his naturist club It just wasn’t fair No crumpet was there Just an old man having a rub No wonder all here are dismal Our close season? Fucking abysmal

"Form carried over from last season Leaves us dumbfounded for a reason, Lose to City, no shock, Not yet a laughing stock So I'm off for a burger with cheese on. A old bloke that I met down the pub. Asked me to join his naturist club"

"I know it's rubbish but it rhymes, And this is the case oftentimes The intelligentsia over yonder Over this they will ponder Whilst sipping their lager and limes Form carried over from last season Leaves us dumbfounded for a reason"

"Oh dear! We just lost to the Champs, We're such a bad rag-tag of scamps, Their getting quite noisy The let us sack Moyesie, And al the GSB out camps. I know it's rubbish but it rhymes, And this is the case oftentimes"

"Oh dear! We just lost to the Champs, We're such a bad rag-tag of scamps, Their getting quite noisy The let us sack Moyesie, And al the GSB out camps. I know it's rubbish but it rhymes, And this is the case oftentimes"

"A bloke that I work with called Max, Is still using his fileofax He writes it all down With a smile or a frown And stores it in black plastic sacks. Oh dear! We just lost to the Champs, We're such a bad rag-tag of scamps"

"I'm trying to go with the flow But this site is so effing slow, So it's back to the Missis, For some hugs and kisses, And with luck she'll give me a blow. A bloke that I work with called Max, Is still using his fileofax"

The refereeing standard's the same They should hang their heads in shame They hate us it would seem Only like a big team Really putting me off of the game I'm trying to go with the flow But this site is so effing slow

"A bloke who went out with Theresa, Did some naughty things just to please 'er Wanting love everlasting She got a fingerblasting Then he gave her a Bacardi Breezer The refereeing standard's the same They should hang their heads in shame"

"A farmer turned up to a wedding After a morning spent muck spreading, His betrothed was pissed off, Refused to plight her troth, You know where this story is heading... A bloke who went out with Theresa, Did some naughty things just to please 'er"

So soon the season will kick off. Our chances? There's those who will scoff But with Cresswell defending The players offending Will get their snouts in the trough A farmer turned up to a wedding After a morning spent muck spreading

"The problem with most on-line porn Is it doesn't now give me the horn. Viagra does the trick It will stiffen your prick, And still will be hard in the morn. So soon the season will kick off. Our chances? There's those who will scoff"

"There was a young Scotsman called Jock Overused his wooly wank sock But, do not despair, He'd bought two to wear And kept the spare one in his wok. The problem with most on-line porn Is it doesn't now give me the horn."

"There was a young man called Smiffy When shagging he came in a jiffy His partner Jane Said: ""lets do it again"" But the poor sod just couldnt get a stiffy There was a young Scotsman called Jock Overused his wooly wank sock"

Made the ROOM stink like fuck

"Whilst reading my blood pressure chart, I dropped an almighty fart, Made the stink like fuck It made me want to chuck Put the missus off her Bakewell tart. Speaking on the same broad front That Jermaine Jenas is a cսnt, Fucking ex fourbee, And between you and me, Having him on just causes affront. There was a young man called Smiffy When shagging he came in a jiffy"

"Could I be a pundit on TV? I've played Sunday league football, you see. I think you'll have trouble And I'll burst your bubble Its all down to ethnicity Speaking on the same broad front That Jermaine Jenas is a cսnt"

"Could I be a pundit on TV? I've played Sunday league football, you see. Over-qualified, So time you must bide, 'til back we get sanity Whilst reading my blood pressure chart, I dropped an almighty fart"

"After scoring Chloe whipped off her top Causing millions of eyeballs to pop, Without wearing the bra, 'Twould be better by far, And great at the post game shirt swap. Could I be a pundit on TV? I've played Sunday league football, you see."