New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Some free transfers are expected Those that others rejected Our board will bid less And I must confess Our results this year might be affected. I sit here and try to compose No rhyme I get, only prose"

[Helmut Shown]

The start of the season looms near. For us Hammers we have only fear. The failed deal for Ling'rd* Makes you feel you've been fingered By Frank Bruno right up your rear * Sorry about that couldn't resist Some free transfers are expected Those that others rejected

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now. Transfers. Let's talk about that. We'll get something dragged in by the cat. Let's make offers high, And lets panlc buy Anderson, Haller, Like that? The start of the season looms near. For us Hammers we have only fear."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Two candidates risen from the rubble Not exactly you'd call a win double One is a tit, The other a shit, To see that you don't need the Hubble. Now. Transfers. Let's talk about that. We'll get something dragged in by the cat."

[Helmut Shown]

The lioness’s are the toast of town It looked like there’d be a frown She lifted the gloom In the dressing room Now its vibrators and dildoes all round Two candidates risen from the rubble Not exactly you'd call a win double

[eswing hammer]

"It all seems a little bit messy, As we try to elbow our Cressy.. We got no left back And we got no attack And now we ain’t even got Jessie. The lioness’s are the toast of town It looked like there’d be a frown"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Lingard thinks Forest's for him The bloke's no ambition, how dim? Just cut through the tosh, He's gone for the dosh. So let's hope his future is grim. It all seems a little bit messy, As we try to elbow our Cressy.."

[Helmut Shown]

"Re, transfers, it don't take much wit. To see that our dealings are shit Amongst what we've found Injuries abound But Cresswell manages to stay fit So Lingard thinks Forest's for him The bloke's no ambition, how dim?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Alwaysaniron 3:36 Wed Jul 20 Didn't realy scan, too many sylables, hope you don't mind the edit."

[arsene york-hunt]

"When you think things just can't get worse A new signing fucked, are we cursed? Should've bought the clothes pegs. From those old pikey dregs, Now I can't get the fucker reversed. Re, transfers, it don't take much wit. To see that our dealings are shit"

[Alwaysaniron]

"Yet another dismal display No interest or effort on the day Fear not though I say For Lingards on his way Another dead duck we can pay! So when you think things just can't get any worse Another new signing gets fucked, are we cursed?"

[Helmut Shown]

It is said that Nigel Farage Once went for a topless massage But if truth be told He was out in the cold Getting wanked by some bloke in a garage Yet another dismal display No interest or effort on the day

[arsene york-hunt]

"Some fucking sad posters on here. Get banned and then reappear. To continue their games, With new usernames, It all sounds a little bit queer. It is said that Nigel Farage Once went for a topless massage"

[Mike Oxsaw]

On the telly I think they should ban The professional Yorkshireman He always sounds pissed And he wouldn't be missed He can't even sport a fake tan. Some fucking sad posters on here. Get banned and then reappear

[Helmut Shown]

Making rhymes is our only mission It ain't a fucking competion For the average consumer They like the sharp humour Others think it a war of attrition On the telly I think they should ban The professional Yorkshireman

[arsene york-hunt]

"They seem to make offers galore But we haven’t got anyone to score, Most bids are thwarted, Or have been aborted No wonder some times we look poor. Making rhymes is our only mission It aint a fucking competion"

[Helmut Shown]

Lim'ricks are shit says Side of Ham Worse than this site's usual spam It’s all Brexiteer I’d rather rhyming on here ‘Bout tits or a hairy clam They seem to make offers galore But we haven’t got anyone to score

[arsene york-hunt]

"With the season not far away At left back who's going to play? So Aaron Creswell Can fuck off to hell. Better off with the space, some may say. Lim'ricks are shit says Side of Ham Worse than this site's usual spam"

[Helmut Shown]

A young good time girl called Mavis Once rented a car from Avis The hirer wondered Why a Fiat 500? She wanted to shag Warwick Davis With the season not far away At left back who's going to play?

[Helmut Shown]

A young good time girl called Mavis Once rented a car from Avis The hirer wondered Why a Fiat 500? She wanted to shag Warwick Davis With the season not far away At left back who's going to play?

[Mike Oxsaw]

Side of Ham 4:09 Sat Jul 16 F- Doesn't scan and is 4 lines too short.

[Side of Ham]

Getting a bit tiresome seeing just three posters trying to out do each other…..was enjoyable whilst it lasted though…

[arsene york-hunt]

"We need a left back tout suite One who can kick with both feet. Who can shut down the wing, And into attack spring, Unlike the twat he'll unseat Aint toute suite a green bean thingj? A young good time girl called Mavis Once rented a car from Avis"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm thinking guitar; quite un-tuned, Or maybe a festering wound Watching BBC3 See a tramp have a pee Or with Liz Truss being marooned We need a left back tout suite One who can kick with both feet"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I cannot see why all the fuss ‘Bout Tory harridan Liz Truss A dyke and a woke - A wannabe bloke, And certainly not one of us. I'm thinking guitar; quite un-tuned, Or maybe a festering wound"