New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Bin Dippers, the fourbees, Manure, My hatred of all these is pure Klopp, Conti Rangnick They all make me sick The Premier League's lost it's allure He's looking to strengthen the attack For fuck's sake we need a left back"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Bin Dippers, the foubees, Manure, My hatred of all these is pure but that is not all You've forgotten the 'wall I hate them the most, to be sure This rumour that I've heard espouse 'Bout making a deal for Ward-Prowse"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As West Ham we need to remember They'll be no new faces come September, Wll we start to cry Will our dreams fade and die, Will our hopes be reduced to an ember. Bin Dippers, the foubees, Manure, My hatred of all these is pure"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Presiding over a car wreck I can't believe Bojo's brass neck One thing I'm sure His hair is like straw But Brylcream should keep it in check As West Ham we need to remember They'll be no new faces come September

[Helmut Shown]

"The woke mob talk a lot of shite, Disagree, you must be far right And there lies the riddle Nothing in the middle Especially on this fucking site Presiding over a car wreck I can't believe Bojo's brass neck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from near Inverness Used to wank himself off to loch ness Thinking of a young whore, He shagged near Loch Awe, Who went by the name of big Bess. The woke mob talk a lot of shite, Disagree, you must be far right."

[cup of tea]

"A drunken young man from Dundee Was arrested for a public pee Whilst emptying his bladder His tights he would ladder Whilst shouting ""I'm a laydee"" A young man from near Inverness Used to wank himself off to loch ness"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old Scothman McPhail. Drank a surfeit of India Pale Ale On reflection, he wished That he wasn't so pished Recovering in his local jail A drunken young man from Dundee Was arrested for a public pee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The American Right has no scruples Anyone with a gun killing pupils, The average redneck, He just don't give a feck. Their docs should cull them with a few pills. Thanks for that comma. There was an old Scothman McPhail. Drank a surfeit of India Pale Ale"

[,]

In Wal Mart you can buy any gun Whether right wing extremist or a nun You don’t need no charms Cos the right to bear arms Is open to just anyone. The American Right has no scruples Anyone with a gun killing pupils

[Helmut Shown]

"Queen Elizabeth Park's The Orbit As a sculpture, a load of old shit? But down the inside There's fucking big slide That you go down lickety split In Wal Mart you can buy any gun Whether right wing extremist or a nun"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Why now the season has ended Have the sharks from big teams now descended If it's all the same, I'll wait for the first game, And see what the window has rended. Queen Elizabeth Park's The Orbit As a sculpture, a load of old shit?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Why now the season has ended Have the sharks from big teams now descended If it's all the same, I'll wait for the first game, And see what the window has rended. Queen Elizabeth Park's The Orbit As a sculpture, a load of old shit?"

[Helmut Shown]

A middle aged whore from St. Kitts Had tattoos all over her tits A picture of her mother A price list on the other And jewels on her twat for some glitz Why now the season has ended Have the sharks from big teams now descended

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Digging deep into an old trench I squatted then shit what a stench A plaintive 'Hello' From the Paddy below 'You've got poo all over me wrench' A middle aged whore from St. Kitts Had tattoos all over her tits

[cup of tea]

"A prostitute from Venezuala, Worked from the back of her trailer. Originally from Chile She sure liked her willy But didn't go gay, hello sailor Digging deep into an old trench I squatted then shit what a stench"

[arsene york-hunt]

"When diving balls-deep in his bird, The upstroke produced a large turd Emitting a foul pong Thirty one CMs long, in inches that's twelve and a third. A prostitute from Venezuala, Worked for the back of her trailer."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"One thing that sure makes me cringe It's a bird with a full bushy minge It looks out of lace, Not sat on my face, Unless it's a bright shade of Ginge. When diving balls-deep in his bird, The upstroke produced a large turd"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Whilst watching some internet porn His dick lay there flaccid, forlorn, He'd spotted his sister With a well hung mister And her cսnt all tattered and torn One thing that sure makes me cringe It's a bird with a full bushy minge"

[arsene york-hunt]

"""Buy all these players"" said the pundit ""But we don't have the cash to fund it"" Get rid of dead wood, If not, then they could, My ST money, refund it. Whilst watching some internet porn His dick lay there flaccid, forlorn,"

[Helmut Shown]

"A man from Virginia Water, Caught his neighbour shagging his daughter At his balls, shotgun aimed ""Give me a chance"" he exclaimed ""Swing 'em"" dad said ""you ought'er"" * ""Buy all these players"" said the pundit ""But we don't have the cash to fund it"" * Based on a very old joke! I'll get my coat"

[arsene york-hunt]

"This news I'd like to impart Is Ive just filled my pants with a shart Embarassing me, In a posh eaterie, Having ordered the fish a la carte. A man from Virginia Water, Caught his neighbour shagging his daughter"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Boris, despite all the front Has lied to the house, let's be blunt I quite like the mojo Displayed by our Bojo I think it's become a witch hunt This news I'd like to impart Is Ive just filled my pants with a shart"

[Helmut Shown]

"Now Viera kicks a fan to floor And Kurt kicks a cat through the door But Heung Min Son Really gets it on With deep fried dog to adore Boris, despite all the front Has lied to the house, let's be blunt"

[Alwaysaniron]

"On the London to Bristol express, A bloke put his hand up her dress The shock he received As he got past her knees Was a nappy filled with her mess. Now Viera kicks a fan to floor And Kurt kicks a cat through the door"