New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

I've heard something really bizarre A woman sells her farts in a jar. One sniff of her wiffie Will give you a stiffie But not if you work in a bar. I'm told that a volcanic blast Is something that happens quite fast

[Helmut Shown]

"On the Limerick thread, they're not dicks Now a thread on nuclear physics Whether fission or fusion Its a forgone conclusion That we'll all be shitting large bricks I've heard something really bizarre A woman sells her farts in a jar"

[arsene york-hunt]

"oops On the Limerick thread, they're not dicks Now a rhyme on nuclear physics"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As we wake to a nuclear dawn, I fart, then I burp then I yawn, From the window I'll gape On dystopian landscapes Before checking the net for some porn. On the Limerick thread, they're not dicks Now a thread on nuclear physics"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Against frogs and dagos we've won, Next up it's the krauts to get done But that slap-head Putin Could yet send a nuke in And we'd all get fried by a meson As we wake to a nuclear dawn, I fart, then I burp then I yawn"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I wanted to kiss Jarrod Bowen When I saw that third goal go in, I'd a nil three score At the bookie next door, Now to me it's a few quid they're owin'. Against frogs and dagos we've won, Next up it's the krauts to get done"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Tonight could be the end of our season, And I think we all know the reason But we won, you cսnt Were still in the hunt In fact we we were only breezin' no offence intended btw :) I wanted to kiss Jarrod Bowen When I saw that third goal go in"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think it might be a blunder To continue with rhymes of Rwanda A man there did bungle, Got lost in the jungle, And bum raped by a big giant Panda. (Some of the above may contain some poetic licence) Tonight could be the end of our season, And I think we all know the reason,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think it might be a blunder To continue with rhymes of Rwanda A man there did bungle, Got lost in the jungle, And bum raped by a big giant Panda. (Some of the above may contain some poetic licence) Tonight could be the end of our season, And I think we all know the reason,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think it might be a blunder To continue with rhymes of Rwanda A man there did bungle, Got lost in the jungle, And bum raped by a big giant Panda. (Some of the above may contain some poetic licence) Tonight could be the end of our season, And I think we all know the reason,"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"An illegal migrant called Banda, Shipped back to his home in Rwanda I don't want to shame But ain't that the same As the Limerick you can see under I think it might be a blunder To continue with rhymes of Rwanda"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I got a call last night on the dog From a friend who'd been lumped by a frog Twas a newly found species, That lives on dog faeces, With a stiffy the size of a log. An illegal migrant called Banda, Shipped back to his home in Rwanda"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a poor man called Mumamba Who was sent over to Rwanda eswing hammer is new so a welcome to you A regular on this thread? I wonder I got a call last night on the dog From a friend who'd been lumped by a frog

[eswing hammer]

"What now will the premier league do, To ensure Manure get to top two. They’ll give them that ref That sent off our Cress, To ensure that they’re part of the few There once was a poor man called Mumamba Who was sent over to Rwanda"

[arsene york-hunt]

"They say that you make your own luck More often than not...come unstuck, Bent refs. and cheaters, Can down world beaters, It all evens out? Does it fuck! What now will the premier league do, To ensure Manure get to top two."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It's been said that the Yorkshire Ripper. Took his claw hammer to a stripper Plus two pairs of pliers, An assortment of tyres And something that smelt like a kipper. They say that you make your own luck More often than not...come unstuck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The nutters are back on the street, With violence just so indiscreet. It is quite a worry These stories on Corrie, But Emmerdale Farm can't compete. It's been said that the Yorkshire Ripper. Took his claw hammer to a stripper"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young Scotsman called Rabbie, Picked up by a really old cabby \ When it came to the fare, It was his arse - right there No tip - which I thought rather shabby. The nutters are back on the street, With violence just so indiscreet."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As a result of something I've eaten My last shit could never be beaten, Slid from my insides Barely touching the sides, My euphoria was alas but fleetin'. There was a young Scotsman called Rabbie, Picked up by a really old cabby"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In Lyon on Thursday we play Will we win? I'm afraid it's a neigh But it's clear, of course We won't sound like a horse I think its a nay, you should say As a result of something I've eaten My last shit could never be beaten"

[cup of tea]

"I know this will may cause a frown I'm rooting for the hatters, Luton Town Kenilworth road is a dump I'd run like forest gump Coz they are odds on to go straight back down In Lyon on Thursday we play Will we win? I'm afraid it's a neigh"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"The nightmare raises, it's ugly face Victims win league, spurs in fourth place but to be fair I don't really care our run-in has been a disgrace I know this will may cause a frown I'm rooting for the hatters, Luton Town"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sorry The nightmare raises, it's ugly face Victims win league, spurs in fourth place"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm eating a nice strawberry tart, Do you know my favourite part? Is the taste of the cream, But, so it would seem, It's not very good for your heart. The nightmare raises, it's ugly face Victims win the league, spurs fourth place"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Is it a bit of a pipe dream To expect top four with this team? As Villa do die, It's a sad goodbye We've simply not got enough steam. I'm eating a nice strawberry tart, Do you know my favourite part?"