New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a young lady from Dorset, Was wearing a tight fitting corset. It was tough to get in It pushed her tits to her chin But in the end she just had to force it Is it a bit of a pipe dream To expect top four with this team"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Spaniard from the Costa Blanca Got a job as a merchant banker, But he exposed his dicky, To the tea lady Vicky The incident caused so much rancour. Like Nausius the young master in Up Pompei, I couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with that. There was a young lady from Dorset, Was wearing a tight fitting corset."

[Helmut Shown]

Wear

[Helmut Shown]

"The young ladies from the Azores, Tend to go out wearing no drawers If they're wanting to flirt They were a short skirt And pose to their beau on all fours A Spaniard from the Costa Blanca Got a job as a merchant banker"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The corrupt German referee His type we should never see, Brown envelopes he'll take 'Cos he's on the make, He makes Mike Dean look Quality. The young ladies from the Azores, Tend to go out wearing no drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The corrupt German referee His type we should never see, Brown envelopes he'll take 'Cos he's on the make, He makes Mike Dean look Quality. The young ladies from the Azores, Tend to go out wearing no drawers"

[Helmut Shown]

The actor who's known as Brad Pitt Is not known for his sparkling wit After criticism voiced He still makes the girls moist But his acting really is shit The corrupt German referee His type we should never see

[arsene york-hunt]

"So close to such a big game, The verses are bound to be tame, A soft red card, Made the match so hard, The ref should hang his head in shame. The actor who's known as Brad Pitt Is not known for his sparkling wit"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A birthmark on the end of his knob Most girls wouldn't put it in their gob But a slip up their arse, They wouldn't let pass, The rate, I am told, was ten bob. So close to such a big game, The verses are bound to be tame"

[Helmut Shown]

"Hello Mrs Jones 3:34 Thu Apr 7, Ag Ag It's plain that this fact is true This thread's for the erudite few The cultured wit And obsession with shit They do very well on it too A birthmark on the end of his knob Most girls wouldn't put it in their gob"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

The pervert next door name of Pete Was sniffing her bicycle seat The feint whiff of kipper From the seat of the nipper Would end with him beating his meat It's plain that this fact is true This thread's for the erudite few

[arsene york-hunt]

Hello Mrs. Jones 2:52 Tue Apr 5 was excellent too

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Asy damn good as well

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

HS brilliant

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she laid in the sun on a mat She got bit on the bum by a gnat A bite on the left, of her gluteal cleft Two inches away from her twat. The pervert next door name of Pete Was sniffing her bicycle seat."

[Helmut Shown]

"Working on my new party trick Balancing a glass on my dick But ever since birth, I'm lacking in girth So the glass hits the floor very quick As she laid in the sun on a mat Shegot bit on the bum by a gnat"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A slapper from Camden Lock Would judge men by length of their cock She would rarely flinch At the usual 5 inch But mine was a bit of a shock Working on my new party trick Balancing a glass on my dick

[Helmut Shown]

It would be surely a bit of a bummer To lose Jared and Dec this summer But who'd fill the places Of our erstwhile aces? Lacazette? The penile strummer?I A slapper from Camden Lock Would judge men by length of their cock

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Richarlison's theatrical roll Dug Cresswell right out of a hole So late in the game That tackle was lame Were lucky there wasn't a goal It would be surely a bit of a bummer To lose Jared and Dec this summer

[Helmut Shown]

I went for a shit and sat down The porcelain spattered dark brown After using a scraper And a whole roll of paper Blocked the sewers for all of the town Richarlison's theatrical roll Dug Cresswell right out of a hole

[arsene york-hunt]

"The size of Richarlson's nose Is the biggest in football I s'pose, But that Ibrahmovic 'sa big nosed ugly prick Like Gareth Southgate, and it shows .I went for a shit and sat down The pocelaine spattered dark brown"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Frankie Lampard's bemoans his luck, We know he's a treacherous schmuck. When he points to the sky I say with a sigh ""Hey fatty,,I don't give a fuck"" The size of Richarlson's nose Is the biggest in football I s'pose"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Richarlison's a cheating swine I'd give his dives 5.9 Those Tottenham pricks, Get a perfect six, No wonder we all fucking whine. Frankie Lampard's bemoans his luck, We know he's a treacherous schmuck."

[Helmut Shown]

"The media love just six teams, The rest of us? Merely have-beens One team who're included Seem to have intruded The 4B2 cunts. In your dreams! That Richarlison's a cheating swine I'd give his dives 5.9"

[Helmut Shown]

"The media love just six teams, The rest of us? Merely have-beens One team who're included Seem to have intruded The 4B2 cunts. In your dreams! That Richarlison's a cheating swine I'd give his dives 5.9"