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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Mar 2022, 19:14
by Helmut Shown
I now spend much of my time Finding apt words that would rhyme If I find a fit For cսnt fuck and shit Poet laureate in all of my prime On Ukraine Boris has his say Hoping Partygate goes away
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Mar 2022, 17:34
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"The obsession with sex on this thread, Are some people not getting head? If I picked up some stray Then i'd get my bee-jay Cos the missus is no good in bed I now spend much of my time Finding apt words that would rhyme"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Mar 2022, 13:04
by Mike Oxsaw
"An actor in a B flick Was asked to expose his dick. He never asked ""Why?"". Just unzipped his fly. Whipped it out...put away in a tick. The obsession with sex on this thread, Are some people not getting head?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Mar 2022, 04:19
by arsene york-hunt
"England are looking so weary and I hate that fucker Shaqiri, The game? not top notch, I decided to watch A film starring old Wallace Beary. An actor in a B flick Was asked to expose his dick."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 20:37
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"There was a young geezer called Dan, Once tried having sex with a man. When seeing his arse He decided to pass And decided he wasn't a fan England are looking so weary and I hate that fucker Shaqiri"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 20:30
by arsene york-hunt
"An old monk from outer Mongolia Drank organic because it was holier Beside all of this this, He bathed in his own piss. He wanted a life that was lowlier. There was a young geezer called Dan, Once tried having sex with a man."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 14:22
by cup of tea
"My old lady, as oft is her habit Lay in bed with her rampant rabbit It buzzed and it jumped Every day a dry hump A new version now out I'll go grab it An old monk from outer Mongolia Drank organic because it was holier"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 14:14
by arsene york-hunt
"A troubled young man from near Dover Spread his toast with butter it was Clover. He also used some, To lubricate his bum. For his boyfriend before he bent over. My old lady, as oft is her habit Lay in bed with her rampant rabbit"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 12:21
by cup of tea
"A phrase I've often heard said Is ""It's better to be dead than be red,"" It just makes no sense A stupid pretence Fuck this I'm off to my bed A troubled young man from near Dover Spread his toast with butter it was Clover"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 10:41
by Mike Oxsaw
"We have taken big scalps this season But lost to shit, what's the reason? Between you and me, Consistency, And a board that undoubtedly mean, son. A phrase I've often heard said Is ""It's better to be dead than be red,"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Mar 2022, 01:12
by Helmut Shown
"While strolling along the prom She took out a femidom Something was amiss When she filled it with piss And flung it with passing aplomb We have taken big scalps this season But lost to shit, what's the reason?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Mar 2022, 15:18
by arsene york-hunt
"An old women just south of Nebraska Washed her minge in cooked baked Alaska. She prepared, it would seem For her fantasy dream To be licked out by Sunil Gavaskar. While strolling along the prom She took out a femidom"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Mar 2022, 13:43
by cup of tea
"There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke All the brothels he perused But alas not amused Only cock on offer what a joke An old women just south of Nebraska Washed her minge in cooked baked Alaska"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Mar 2022, 21:55
by arsene york-hunt
"He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, When losing the cսnt blows his top, To us, an affront This mendacious cսnt, But it goes down well on the kop. There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Mar 2022, 21:55
by arsene york-hunt
"He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, When losing the cսnt blows his top, To us, an affront This mendacious cսnt, But it goes down well on the kop. There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Mar 2022, 19:54
by Helmut Shown
"There was a young girl from Kowloon. Who ""Entertained"" men in her room. With a disgusting mime ""Me love you long time"" Easing out of a schoolgirl costume He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, when losing the cսnt blows his top"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Mar 2022, 16:17
by arsene york-hunt
"The 90s were definitely the best Twelve hours of raving and no rest Repetitive bass, Of melody? no trace It's the sort of shit I detest. There was a young girl from Kowloon. Who ""Entertained"" men in her room."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Mar 2022, 12:53
by cup of tea
"In days of our youth life was better, You fancied a bird you could get her. We'd spray on our Lynx To pull the said minx And go at her like a red setter The 90s were definitely the best Twelve hours of raving and no rest"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Mar 2022, 23:17
by Mike Oxsaw
"I just seen the size of my belly From beers sat in front of the telly. I could hold my guts in, Or just switch to gin, Stop drinking mate? Not on your Nelly! In days of our youth life was better, You fancied a bird you could get her."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Mar 2022, 22:34
by Hello Mrs. Jones
Euphemisms for bodily parts Or pissing or shitting or farts Passing gas some will say Is the delicate way Unless it results in the sharts I just seen the size of my belly From beers sat in front of the telly
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Mar 2022, 15:11
by Helmut Shown
"There was a young girl from Dunbar, Sold herself in the back of a car The windows were fogging No chance of dogging But you heard her come from afar Euphemisms for bodily parts Or pissing or shitting or farts"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Mar 2022, 14:08
by arsene york-hunt
"A fart a pop or a grunt From my arse and not from my cսnt, Said my old aunty Gerty, Who's foul mouthed and dirty. She quite often causes affront. There was a young girl from Dunbar, Sold herself in the back of a car"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Mar 2022, 13:19
by cup of tea
I dont want to sound like a clot But where is a woman's g-spot? It's near her fat clit Where we all like to spit The thought of this makes me all hot A fart a pop or a grunt From my arse and not from my cսnt
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Mar 2022, 21:12
by Hello Mrs. Jones
"A cowboy wannabe called Tex Went into Boots to buy Durex He needed the rubber For a fat, ugly scrubber He'd been better off buying some specs I dont want to sound like a clot But where is a woman's g-spot?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Mar 2022, 18:52
by arsene york-hunt
"A very old man from Peru Done ten shits a day in his loo, By his wife was berated He became dehydrated, And died at about ten past two. A cowboy wannabe called Tex Went into Boots to buy Durex."