New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"That 100 vaginas on the box? Mostly lesbians on their soapbox, If it's cunts that you seek, See them every week, Watch tottenham hotspur on Fox. A morris Dancer from Crewe, Once had a bad Vindaloo"

[Helmut Shown]

"The next James Bond, I read on a tweet, It's Tyrone from Coronation Street Champagne to get tiddly? No Newton and Ridley ""Mah name's Bond, James Bond. Ya allreet?"" That 100 vaginas on the box? Mostly lesbians on their soapbox"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she did yoga to keep herself fit from her shorts dropped a nugget of shit, It was hot, brown and stank She was a dirty skank, And to think she once dated Brad Pitt. The next James Bond, I read on a tweet, It's Tyrone from Coronation Street"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl called Vera, Who went on a trip to Madeira. Her Ryanair flight She thought it was shite So next time she'll fly somewhere nearer As she did yoga to keep herself fit from her shorts dropped a nugget of shit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a girl from the Azores Would often go out without drawers, She would make many cringe, By exposing her minge When crawling around on all fours. There was a young girl called Vera, Who went on a trip to Madeira."

[Helmut Shown]

A young man from near Eritrea Dressed up like he was a big gayer In a thong he did come To get chaps on his bum The sole taker was an Irish bricklayer There was a girl from the Azores Would often go out without drawers

[cup of tea]

There was a young geezer called Monk Went sailing on a chinese junk. In seas that were rough He liked licking muff Until he exploded with spunk A young man from near Eritrea Dressed up like he was a big gayer

[arsene york-hunt]

"As he rose from his seat to depart The vicar let out a loud fart, ""You can't do that here,"" Said a voice from quite near, ""After all this is the D'Oyly Carte."" There was a young geezer called Monk Went sailing on a chinese junk."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young scotsman called Rab Fucked a bird wearing but a Niqab As he went for her clit There was nowt but a split Mutilated, all slit and no flab As he rose from his seat to depart The vicar let out a loud fart"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The big teams think that it'd be nice If West Ham would auction off Rice. To amuse Olly Murs*, Or even worse spurs, Although those cunts can't pay the price. * Some kind of childrens entertainer who comes from Chelmsford but support Man Utd, ie a cսnt. There was a young scotsman called Rab Fucked a bird wearing but a Niqab"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's rumoured that Begum bint said ""I'll give you some head for a head"". 'neath her hibjab, as feared Was a fucking big beard It was Colin and he came from Wanstead The big teams think that it'd be nice If West Ham would auction off Rice"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It's said that Shamima Begum, To her motherland wishes to come, And not only that, Her fucking fat brat! Quite frankly, I think it's all rum. It's rumoured that Begum bint said ""I'll give you some head for a head""."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will the premier league next year be blighted? By those thieving cunts Sheffield United, The cap easily fits. These unsporting shits, If they implode, I will be delighted. It's said that Shamima Begum, To her motherland wishes to come,"

[Helmut Shown]

"I wanted to train as a Ninja, But found out the Master was ginger a kilt and big beard A man to be feared With trained hands that could certainly injure Will the premier league next year be blighted? By those thieving cunts Sheffield United"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've been to Southend Pier And could smell everyone that was near, Surrounded by chavs, And gypsies, and slavs The Dame Judy put me off my beer. I wanted to train as a Ninja, But found out the Master was ginger"

[westhammerer]

Last night I ran into my ex- We went back to her place for sex She fisted me twice Which I thought quite nice Till I realised I'd eaten Tex-Mex. I've been to Southend Pier And could smell everyone that was near

[westhammerer]

Last night I ran into my ex- We went back to her place for sex She fisted me twice Which I thought quite nice Till I realised I'd eaten Tex-Mex. I've been to Southend Pier And could smell everyone that was near

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Twas the morning after Valentines Day I never thought she would treat me that way We ate somewhere posh, So I expected a nosh. Was then she explained she was gay. Last night I ran into my ex- We went back to her place for sex"

[westhammerer]

"Whenever he worked on computers They'd find he'd be searching out ""hooters"" HeÔøΩd just wanted a jerk But its not suitable for work And his search history now reads ÔøΩrecruiters.ÔøΩ Twas the morning after Valentines Day I never thought she would treat me that way"

[Helmut Shown]

"A girl from Paramaribo, Was showing a big camel toe As hot as Arabia The friction on her labia Caused a wet patch when viewed from below Whenever he worked on computers They'd find he'd be searching out ""hooters"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"It was found that her breast augmentation Burst while she stood in the station. The fluid from them, Ran to her abdomen, Which caused her much consternation. A girl from Paramaribo, Was showing a big camel toe"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young limbo dancer called Jack, Tried too hard and fell on his back As his arse hit the ground The vacuum, they found Could be broken with a thumb up the crack It was found that her breast augmentation Burst while she stood in the station"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It is said that the recently departed While lying dead they have farted Between you and me The mortuary Is not a place for the fainthearted. A young limbo dancer called Jack, Tried too hard and fell on his back"

[Helmut Shown]

A spaceship descended from Mars And the occupants went to some bars After three pints of bitter Spent the night in the shitter And back home to write their memoirs It is said that the recently departed While lying dead they have farted

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On the slopes of the mountains of Morne, A young shepherd lad got the horn A cowgirl called Grace Got the double-bass And they boogied from dusk until dawn. A spaceship descended from Mars And the occupants went to some bars"