New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"She'd often get down on all fours Arse in the air and no drawers But Prince Charles had enough, Of the stench of her muff, So he said to Dodi: ""She's yours."" There was a bone idle pole, Came here to live on the dole"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man from the Dutch Antilles, Made a living sucking blokes willies But on his day off He'd get his snout in the trough At the pub, pulling local fillies She'd often get down on all fours Arse in the air and no drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Andy Peters the tv presenter Could this bloke be any benter Between you and me, If he weren't on TV He'd be a high end arsehole renter. A young man from the Dutch Antilles, Made a living sucking blokes willies"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man called Rex, Who went out to look for bum-sex. When home he did come They'd ruined his bum And an anus unable to flex Andy Peters the tv presenter Could this bloke be any benter"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now listen to what you are told: Outside...Tonight...Fucking cold. So I'm staying in, With a bottle of gin, It's at times like this I feel old. There was a young man called Rex, Who went out to look for bum-sex."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The transfer window's last day Nothing exciting I'd say We'll get a cheap loan Then bicker and moan, We all know the true ""West Ham way"". Now listen to what you are told: Outside...Tonight...Fucking cold."

[Helmut Shown]

"I wanted to view some rude pics, And keyed in the search Chicks With Dicks. Do people pay wedge For meat and two veg? With this out and wearing no knicks The transfer window's last day Nothing exciting I'd say"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The girls on that channel Babestation Get paid to fake masturbation That's OK for you, But it's not on sky Q. Since I changed it's caused me privation. I wanted to view some rude pics, And keyed in the search Chicks With Dicks."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The girls on that channel Babestation Get paid to fake masturbation That's OK for you, But it's not on sky Q. Since I changed it's caused me privation. I wanted to view some rude pics, And keyed in the search Chicks With Dicks."

[Helmut Shown]

The government don't really care. They bray and debate: all hot air I don't mean to disparage But that Nigel Farage Has driven us all to despair The girls on that channel Babestation Get paid to fake masturbation

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Another dire display Gutless tossers that don't want to play, Seems some Xmas decs. Are still up, giving hex. It's West Ham. It's always this way. The government don't really care. They bray and debate: all hot air"

[Helmut Shown]

"My knob's got a rash on the top It's starting to itch quite a lot. When I felt it hardening did some uphill gardening And forgot to wash, what a clot!I Another dire display Gutless tossers that don't want to play"

[Mike Oxsaw]

We've players who're stealing a living They take a big wage without giving We need to advance. Replace them? No chance! So through the has-beens we'll be sieving. My knob's got a rash on the top It's starting to itch quite a lot.

[Helmut Shown]

"His co-star who played Little Joe, In the local brothel would go He thought it a cinch At £2 an inch So three quid including a blow We've players who're stealing a living They take a big wage without giving"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That chap from Bonanza - Lorne Greene Was oft in a porno shop seen He'd covered his eyes, And put on a disguise, So no-one would know where he'd been. His co-star who played Little Joe, In the local brothel would go"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It was said that the Vulcan Spock Had no wife but kept a wank sock To the doc he would show it, ""Not life, as we know it"", But it cooked up quite nice in a wok. That chap from Bonanza - Lorne Greene Was oft in a porno shop seen"

[Helmut Shown]

"Elizabeth Barrett Browning, After several pints she was downing Would sit legs apart And drop a large fart And leave all around her frowning It was said that the Vulcan Spock Had no wife but kept a wank sock"

[Helmut Shown]

"Elizabeth Barrett Browning, After several pints she was downing Would sit legs apart And drop a large fart And leave all around her crowning It was said that the Vulcan Spock Had no wife but kept a wank sock"

[Helmut Shown]

"Elizabeth Barrett Browning, After several pints she was downing Would sit legs apart And drop a large fart And leave all around her crowning It was said that the Vulcan Spock Had no wife but kept a wank sock"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It’s reported the poet Blake Did unusual things with a flake Mixed with raisins and shit To his bloke said ""Eat it!"" As he'd told him it was Christmas cake. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, After several pints she was downing"

[Helmut Shown]

"It is said that the poet Shelley Rubbed his face in drawers that were smelly Then he progressed To scat, he confessed “I like ‘em to shit on my belly” It’s reported the poet Blake Did unusual things with a flake"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It was said that the poet Keats Liked to sniff young girls bicycle seats, And so many times, It inspired his rhymes , That he put out on internet tweets. It is said that the poet Shelley Rubbed his face in drawers that were smelly"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a pervert called Abel Asked boys to shit on a glass table As he waited below For the turtle head show And the boys to lay down a cable It was said that the poet Keats Liked to sniff young girls bicycle seats

[arsene york-hunt]

"A sailor we call captain Leroy, Had sailed as a man and a boy, Say to him ""Hello Chum, I'm in need of a bum."" And he'll give your sphincter much joy. There once was a pervert called Abel Asked boys to shit on a glass table"

[jack flash]

"A man who crossed the Arctic Had frostbite on the end of his dick, He threw on some jam, And said to a fan, It's cold, but it's well worth a lick A sailor we call captain Leroy, Had sailed as a man and a boy,"