New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"We can't see this run lasting long At Fulham it could go Pete Tong But against the odds, We could hammer these sods, And be singing our Bubbles song. He keyed in big tits and hairy muff, On the internet he loved this stuff."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"We've just won 3 games on the spin What parallel world are we in? We could even win four, Maybe a few more. But thinking like that's just a sin We can't see this run lasting long At Fulham it could go Pete Tong"

[Mike the Hammer]

My computer display has turned green So I wiped my knob on the screen. Again I should have learned And the tip has been burned So it's off to the Docs to be seen. We've just won 3 games on the spin What parallel world are we in?

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Richard Keys was quite shocked That his shower plughole was blocked It seems Andy Gray Had a cable to lay, But the door to the khazi was locked. My computer display has turned green So I wiped my knob on the screen."

[Helmut Shown]

"The Hammers were on a big roll, When Felipe hit his wonder goal Some folks it will rile That we're playing with style So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole! Richard Keys was quite shocked That his shower plughole was blocked"

[Helmut Shown]

"The Hammers were on a big roll, When Felipe hit his wonder goal Some folks it will rile That we're playing with style So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole! Richard Keys was quite shocked That his shower plughole was blocked"

[arsene york-hunt]

"'m stuck at the airport again The engineer's fixing the plane. Two hours or more Sitting here on the floor, Should have taken the fucking train. The Hammers were on a big roll, When Felipe hit his wonder goal"

[arsene york-hunt]

"'m stuck at the airport again The engineer's fixing the plane. Two hours or more Sitting here on the floor, Should have taken the fucking train. The Hammers were on a big roll, When Felipe hit his wonder goal"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She caught a young fellow called Mike, Sniffing the saddle of her bike... ...so I said to the judge, ""I'm quite fond of fudge"", ""I'll even sniff yours if you like"". I'm stuck at the airport again The engineer's fixing the plane."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a big Tart called Marge Whose breasts were extremely large, And I've heard that she Contracted VD When fucked by Nigel Farage. (The events and, characters depicted in the above Limerick are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.) She caught a young fellow called Mike, Sniffing the saddle of her bike"

[Helmut Shown]

"An African's bollocks swung free, They nearly hung down to his knee. She gave him a rollicking For giving her a bollocking As his balls hit her back rapidly There was a big part called Marge Whose breasts were extremely large"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A retired man thought it was fun To look for a place in the sun, So he packed his pyjamas, Moved to the Bahamas, 'Cos his lottery ticket had won. An African's bollocks swung free, They nearly hung down to his knee."

[Helmut Shown]

"A tart from the Isle of St Kitts, Had an op. to enlarge her tits Although they got bigger It fucked up her figure Low hanging fruit? It's just the pits A retired man thought it was fun To look for a place in the sun"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The draw. We all wanted the scum. Instead, we're at home to the Brum. There'll be a big crowd. Our fans will be loud, And send back these shits to their slum. A tart from the Isle of St Kitts, Had an op. to enlarge her tits"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The History class was in shock When the teacher took out his cock For the teacher was ""Miss"", So they all took the piss And now she works down at the dock. The draw. We all wanted the scum. Instead, we're at home to the Brum."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Hull Had her chips nicked by a seagull On trying it's next trick, She hit it with a brick Thereby cracking it's avian skull. The History class was in shock When the teacher took out his cock"

[Helmut Shown]

"You call it a truck, you'll be sorry. In England we call it a lorry. Those northern chaps Would have a fit of the craps As they sat with their pie watching Corrie There was a young girl from Hull Had her chips nicked by a seagull"

[Helmut Shown]

"You call it a truck, you'll be sorry. In England we call it a lorry. Those northern chaps Would have a fit of the craps As they sat with their pie watching Corrie There was a young girl from Hull Had her chips nicked by a seagull"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It's said that old Friar Tuck Once suffered very bad luck When crossig a road Was surprised by a toad, Then knocked down and killed by a truck. You call it a truck, you'll be sorry. In England we call it a lorry."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The clerk at the grocery store, Was standing, one day, by the door., Wanting to converse, But to be very terse, Most avoided, as he was a bore. It's said that old Friar Tuck Once suffered very bad luck"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young chap who was Dutch Liked sniffing used drawers at the crutch But the kegs of a dyke, Who'd just been on a bike, For him, was an odour too much. The clerk at the grocery store, Was standing, one day, by the door."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Citeh boys are arriving Will we get another hiding? The answer, I'd guess Is a resounding yes, And down the league we'll be sliding. There was a young chap who was Dutch Liked sniffing used drawers at the crutch"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young lady from Brum Her party trick - flashing her bum Not much of a looker Unsuccessful hooker She didn't like the taste of cum The Citeh boys are arriving Will we get another hiding?

[Helmut Shown]

"I once met a Lebanese Druze While on a riverboat cruise. The twat (a real shocker) Called football ""soccer"" And of course supported ""the blues"" There was a young lady from Brum Her party trick - flashing her bum"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now. Should I play Mozart or Bach? Or Williams' ascending the lark? Classical's great When you masturbate. On a ghettoblaster, in the park. I once met a Lebanese Druze While on a riverboat cruise."