New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady from Polynesia, Found going out naked much easier. 'cos a skirt made from grass Would stick to her arse But not so much, when it was breezier. Now. Should I play Mozart or Bach? Or Williams' ascending the lark?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There a was an old soldier called Green Fell and rolled into a latrine, He struggled a bit , In a deep pool of shit But after that he was not seen. A young lady from Polynesia, Found going out naked much easier."

[Helmut Shown]

"In the lavatory yesterday I washed my arse in the bidet. The shit's broken down as the water runs brown When clear, just turn off the spray There a was an old soldier called Green Fell and rolled into a latrine"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now, winter is starting to bite, It gets rather cold in the night, It is at these times, I seek sunnier climes, So I'm off to the Isle of Wight. In the lavatory yesterday I washed my arse in the bidet."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lady called Dora, Did things with her labia minora, Like pleasing her men, Again and again, For which, I am told, they adore her. Now, winter is starting to bite, It gets rather cold in the night."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The white elephant at White Hart Lane May need a a cash transplant again, Investment so bold May cause them to fold. And fuck up their ""Big club"" refrain. There was a young lady called Dora, Did things with her labia minora"

[Helmut Shown]

"""International breaks? a fucking joke!"" I heard in the pub from some bloke. A second class game To bring Rooney more fame A testimonial and not worth a poke The white elephant at White Hart Lane May need a a cash transplant again"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The pundits you see on tv With most of them I dont agree, They take any fool Who's played for Liverpool, Their bias, there for all to see. ""International breaks? a fucking joke!"" I heard in the pub from some bloke."

[Helmut Shown]

"The Grim Reaper came to take him, Heart attack while licking a quim. He thought it was best, A night on the nest Instead of an hour at the gym The pundits you see on tv With most of them I dont agree"

[arsene york-hunt]

"You're richer than me - IT'S NOT FAIR!! So all that you have you MUST share! But that's what I'm doing By your service pursuing, Now please remove your underwear. The Grim Reaper came to take him, Heart attack while licking a quim."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A hypnotist put girls into trances Before making sexual advances When they closed their eyes, He'd fondle their thighs, Or higher, when offered the chances. You're richer than me - IT'S NOT FAIR!! So all that you have you MUST share!"

[Helmut Shown]

"Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station, Once caused a national sensation A police patrol Saw his knob through a hole And a bit more than masturbation A hypnotist put girls into trances Before making sexual advances"

[arsene york-hunt]

"i'm supping a very fine ale, Not porter or stout - it's quite pale, It's not to bitter, And when on the shitter, A good output you just never fail Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station, Once caused a national sensation"

[arsene york-hunt]

"i'm supping a very fine ale, Not porter or stout - it's quite pale, It's not to bitter, And when on the shitter, A good output you just never fail Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station, Once caused a national sensation"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A sad thing in Dagenham East Is the tale of the perverted Priest On The Chase he would dog With a chink and a wog That should get me a carding, at least... I'm supping a very fine ale, Not porter or stout - it's quite pale"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It'll soon be Christmas no doubt, Nearly time to get my balls out, Put them on the tree, But between you and me I sometimes put it up without. A sad thing in Dagenham East Is the tale of the perverted Priest"

[wanstead_hammer]

"The footballer Franz Beckenbauer, Once had a Sherman in the shower. He got in there first, Pulled out his bratwurst, and stayed in there over half hour. It'll soon be Christmas no doubt, Nearly time to get my balls out,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In Romford? traditional stalls. Not there will you find shopping malls, Selling mistletoe, Big tins of fake snow And dec'rative christmas tree balls. The footballer Franz Beckenbauer, Once had a Sherman in the shower."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Nothing can cause a worse rift Than dropping a fart in a lift That's not really true. For, if you follow through, The occupants will be more miffed. In Romford? traditional stalls. Not there will you find shopping malls"

[Helmut Shown]

"I woke up this morning, quite bright. I felt that I slept well last night As I opened my eyes A horrible surprise A cock pointing at me, face height. Nothing can cause a worse rift Than dropping a fart in a lift"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A knighthood for our Bobby Moore, Won't be given, you can be sure And even if ma'am Doth favour West Ham He'll have to make do with folklore. I woke up this morning, quite bright. I felt that I slept well last night"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Xmas is almost here Fuck off I hear you all cheer It's a time of the year, For the woman or queer, But when it comes I shall not be here A knighthood for our Bobby Moore, Won't be given, you can be sure"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So Xmas is almost here Fuck off I hear you all cheer It's a time of the year, For the woman or queer, But when it's done I shall be glad. A knighthood for our Bobby Moore, Won't be given, you can be sure"

[cup of tea]

"The fashions I wore as a lad, Could best be described as ""Well bad."" With tongues out your trainers Fuck all the complainers It was a 90s fashion or fad So Xmas is almost here Fuck off I hear you all cheer"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Jonathan Ross was outside the bank And asked for the taxi rank A gobby snowflake Did hear, by mistake A naughty word, rhyming with tank. The fashions I wore as a lad, Could best be described as ""Well bad."""