New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in North West Kentucky A young man went in feeling lucky She looked like his mum Let him poke her in the bum And left his old chap really mucky I hope that i won't be screwed My season ticket, I've renewed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was an alien from Mars Who used to frequent girlie bars When he took out his dick, It was green and quite thick And hung long when using pissoirs. In a brothel in North West Kentucky A young man went in feeling lucky"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Mark Hughes as a manager, a clown, Both of his teams going down A few on this site Just thought that he might Come join us and wear a West Ham crown. There once was an alien from Mars Who used to frequent girlie bars"

[Helmut Shown]

"Let's hope next week we don't choke We need a big win against Stoke You can't act chicken When you get a good kickin' Northern monkeys, not worth a poke Mark Hughes as a manager, a clown, Both of his teams going down"

[arsene york-hunt]

A young girl from north of Dakota Worked in a whore house on a full rota. She would spend hours Giving men golden showers And with her tips bought a Toyota. Let's hope next week we don't choke We need a big win against Stoke

[cup of tea]

A man in a whorehouse called Nash Who needed a quick Johnny Cash Bought an old tart call Lydia and then caught Chlamydia Which meant it burnt when he went for a slash A young girl from north of Dakota Worked in a whore house on a full rota

[arsene york-hunt]

"A lady from near Ilford South Could cram three cocks in her mouth, One up the back And two in her crack, All the porn actors in Cockermouth, A man in a whorehouse called Nash Who needed a quick Johnny Cash"

[Helmut Shown]

A dancer from south Illinois Was a girl but looked like a boy She stood up to tinkle And it looked like a winkle But when she tried to direct it - no joy A lady from near Ilford South Could cram three cocks in her mouth

[Helmut Shown]

A dancer from south Illinois Was a girl but looked like a boy She stood up to tinkle And it looked like a winkle But when she tried to direct it - no joy A lady from near Ilford South Could cram three cocks in her mouth

[HairyHammer]

"Today is the day that we, Go to the money Laundry We'll go Ruskie bad Our hart strong and glad Like a comrade in Salisbury. A dancer from south Illinois Was a girl but looked like a boy"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Of the golden boot Harry Kane dreams And they come off his shoulder it seems Whenever the heat Is on, they just cheat. And fuck up the opposing teams. Today is the day that we, Go to the money Laundry"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was young man called Cliff, Who went out the back for a spliff. But while out on the lash Someone nicked all his stash So he puffed on a borrowed Wills Whiff Of the golden boot Harry Kane dreams And they come off his shoulder it seems"

[arsene york-hunt]

*eyes

[arsene york-hunt]

"When swimming in a public pool He came face to face with a stool When it met his eyed, It caused him surprise, It was one of his own bloody fool. There once was young man called Cliff, Who went out the back for a spliff."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man from near Thornton Heath, Enjoyed sex without wearing a sheath When she got up the duff He'd had enough She was ugly and had rotten teeth When swimming in a public pool He came face to face with a stool"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The scouse thugs are at it again The grief has affected the brain, These foul, whingeing scum, With their unearned income Their cuntishness is all too plain. A young man from near Thornton Heath, Enjoyed sex without wearing a sheath"

[Helmut Shown]

"Billy Moore from near Forest Gate An accordionist, yodeller was great. He appeared on Op Knocks Lederhosen and socks With a squeezebox like a breastplate The scouse thugs are at it again The grief has affected the brain"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm trying to recall a song By a Chinaman called Billy Wong The opening verse, Well, I've heard a lot worse But the bridge goes on for far too long Billy Moore from near Forest Gate An accordionist, yodeller was great."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I noisily let off quite a few Quite smelly farts in my interview But they gave me the job So I got out my knob Now, I'm back of the fucking dole queue. I'm trying to recall a song By a Chinaman called Billy Wong"

[Far East Hammer]

"An ageing MP in the park, Picked up a young boy for a lark Shagged him up against fences Tried to claim on expenses Didn't even wait until dark I noisily let off quite a few Quite smelly farts in my interview"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She looked just like Jabba the Hutt But liked it stuck up her butt, In a bout of insaneness Penetrated her anus, While fondling her tits and her gut. An ageing MP in the park, Picked up a young boy for a lark"

[Helmut Shown]

A young city banker called Reece Once went to a Dominatrix Cruelty humiliation And strange gyration As she stood over showing her crease She looked just like Jabba the Hutt But liked it stuck up her butt

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sunday we are at the rent boys More parking the bus from our Moyes? They're there for the taking, A display earthshaking, So let our fans make a big noise. A young city banker called Reece Once went to a Dominatrix."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man got a prozzie called Mabel, To shit on a glass coffee table. She then did one more This time on the floor - A lesson in laying a cable. Sunday we are at the rent boys More parking the bus from our Moyes?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from Shoeburyness Would go to his work in a dress He called himself Jane When at White Hart Lane These spurs fans are all cunts, i guess. A man got a prozzie called Mabel, To shit on a glass coffee table."