New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man from Gibraltar Who ditched his girl friend at the altar Her mother did promise To burn his John Thomas For messing about with her daughter A bombastic star of prog rock, Discovered that, much to his shock..."

[arsene york-hunt]

"'m bored stiff with politics And the problems the cunts can't fix, It's passing I'll not mourn, As I mow study porn, With it's tits cunts and arses and dicks. There was a young man from Gibraltar Who ditched his girl friend at the altar"

[Helmut Shown]

Barry Bennell's arse started to sting On his first night on the bacon wing He'll end up with the piles Like most paedophiles As the cons have their way with his ring I'm bored stiff with politics And the problems the cunts can't fix

[arsene york-hunt]

"A penguin who lived in a tree Was pining one day for the sea, He did not complain, But jumped on a train, And went to the isle of Canvey. Barry Bennell's arse started to sting On his first night on the bacon wing"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A 10 year old girl from Kunming Knocked a boy out with one vicious swing But her coup de grÔøΩce, Was a spike up his arse Which somewhat destroyed the lad's ring. A penguin who lived in a tree Was pining one day for the sea"

[HairyHammer]

There was a young man from Crewe Got a job cleaning a public loo. At the top of his summit Was projectile vile vomit From Alcoholic tramps who spew. A 10 year old girl from Kunming Knocked a boy out with one vicious swing

[arsene york-hunt]

"A black dancer from Rio Brazil Who dressed as a woman for a thrill, Was picked up in a bar, By a jolly Jack Tar, But when he saw ""her"" cock he felt ill. There was a young man from Crewe Got a job cleaning a public loo."

[HairyHammer]

Dele Alli escapes censure again The reason why? I can't ascertain What the fuck should I wrıte Thıs Lımerıck ıs shıte Is ıt cos hıs cock looks lıke a pen?. A black dancer from Rio Brazil Who dressed as a woman for a thrill

[Helmut Shown]

A young hooker on Panorama Claims she once had Barack Obama And to Matt LeBlanc She once gave a wank And was bummed by the Dalai Lama Dele Alli escapes censure again The reason why? I can't ascertain

[Helmut Shown]

A young hooker on Panorama Claims she once had Barack Obama And to Matt LeBlanc She once gave a wank And was bummed by the Dalai Lama Dele Alli escapes censure again The reason why? I can't ascertain

[arsene york-hunt]

"The doris that works on my street Keeps trying to set up a meet. She wants to give me, Her speciality. Of wanking me off with her feet. A young hooker on Panorama Claims she once had Barack Obama"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"As he bent to tie his shoelace He farted in a young lady's face But why it was there? He hadn't a care, Then minced off with elegant grace. The doris that works on my street Keeps trying to set up a meet."

[Helmut Shown]

Shakespeare said Ms Katie Price Is boring like eating plain rice The attention seeking scrubber Tits of latex rubber And a person who's not very nice As he bent to tie his shoelace He farted in a young lady's face

[Helmut Shown]

Shakespeare said Ms Katie Price Is boring like eating plain rice The attention seeking scrubber Tits of latex rubber And a person who's not very nice As he bent to tie his shoelace He started in a young lady's face

[HairyHammer]

"As she touched her toes in the gym She felt a hand on her quim She shrieked "" Hey What the fuck""? "" Are You thick or a schmuck"" He said ""neither, I just love to sin"". Shakespeare said Ms Katie Price Is boring like eating plain rice"

[Helmut Shown]

"In Decatur close to Atlanta, A bloke got upset by some banter. This left him free For a big shooting spree They'd denied the existence of Santa As she touched her toes in the gym She felt a hand on her quim"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On Canvey, the new wave of Jews Their dress is likely to amuse, With their huge fur hats Some look like right prats It's not a religion I'd choose. in Decatur close to Atlanta, A bloke got upset by some banter."

[Helmut Shown]

"Whilst having a trek through the jungle, I encountered a creature like Bungle It had a rash For the length of its gash I treated with a strong antifungal* *what do you expect with those two lines to rhyme! On Canvey, the new wave of Jews Their dress is likely to amuse"

[arsene york-hunt]

*is

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've gone and conducted a ricket I've bought an economy ticket, I never turn right When boarding a flight First Class Freddie in my soubriquet. Whilst having a trek through the jungle, I encountered a creature like Bungle"

[Mike Oxsaw]

There was a young lady called Dora Was rubbing her labia minora. She gave a short cough And the damn thing fell off. Her fanny is now a lot sorer I've gone and conducted a ricket I've bought an economy ticket

[arsene york-hunt]

"I dreamt of a Jeanie screamed Trump As Melania gave him a thump, He awoke with a start, Did a really loud fart., Then got up and went for a dump. There was a young lady called Dora Was rubbing her labia minora."

[HairyHammer]

There once was a pervert from Dagenham Had three sisters and he was shaggin'em. A sick worthless shit Who's throat they did slit And now do a 5 stretch in Nottingham. I dreamt of a Jeanie screamed Trump As Melania gave him a thump

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady from Rheims Thought she'd met the man of her dreams But all of the while. He was a paedophile, And was after her daughter, it seems. There once was a pervert from Dagenham Had three sisters and he was shaggin'em."

[Helmut Shown]

"A camping shop owner in Chippenham Had tents on display, you could kip in 'em And for those green cunts Paper Y fronts But get a stiffy and you're ripping 'em There was a young lady from Rheims Thought she'd met the man of her dreams"