New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"In Asuncion, Paraguay Lives a slapper with only one eye If there's change in your pocket She'll let you fuck the socket Then you wipe your knob on her thigh. , A young prostitute in Papeete, Could wank you off with her feet."

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in Bahia, Brazil. They give a free Viagra pill. It still a big if That their winkles get stiff Making a mountain from a molehill In Asuncion, Paraguay Lives a slapper with only one eye"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our cricketers think it's fine A display without any spine It's because they choose, To go out on the booze, And not be in bed before nine. In a brothel in Bahia, Brazil. They give a free Viagra pill."

[Helmut Shown]

Waiting for a nice curry I was in quite a hurry I had some good luck Outside was a tuktuk Quite unusual for Surrey Our cricketers think it's fine A display without any spine

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young lad from Gateshead Was caught on the roof stealing lead He yelled ""hadaway an'shite"" ""Mey-at wan a friggin' fight?"" No-one understood what he said! Waiting for a nice curry I was in quite a hurry"

[Helmut Shown]

They caught ref Mark Clattenberg In a brothel in Johannesburg After his fuck He was cursing his luck Green knob end he'd just caught the lurg There was a young lad from Gateshead Was caught on the roof stealing lead

[arsene york-hunt]

"A well known man from the telly Was caught in a brothel in Delhi, On the breakfast TV. He later claimed he, Was researching the use of Royal Jelly. They caught ref Mark Clattenberg In a brothel in Johannesburg"

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old lady from Dover Liked a drink or two and fell over A passing Jew Who was tying his shoe Slipped her a length for Passover A well known man from the telly Was caught in a brothel in Delhi

[cup of tea]

In a brothel just outside Madras Their gold service is sex up the arse For a rupee or two They'll blow you off too Which in monetary terms is a farce There was an old lady from Dover Liked a drink or two and fell over

[arsene york-hunt]

"One thing guaranteed to sicken Is eating Kentucky Fried Chicken, Staff don't care one bit, Don't wash after a shit And forever their noses are pickin'. In a brothel just outside Madras Their gold service is sex up the arse"

[Helmut Shown]

"A man living in Senegal, Is said to have only one ball. But his cock you may see Hung down to his knee Therefore he's proportionately tall One thing guaranteed to sicken Is eating Kentucky Fried Chicken"

[Helmut Shown]

"A man living in Senegal, Is said to have only one ball. But his cock you may see Hung down to his knee Therefore he's proportionately tall One thing guaranteed to sicken Is eating Kentucky Fried Chicken"

[arsene york-hunt]

Or maybe not

[arsene york-hunt]

"To the Etihad West Ham must go We're sinking and we are very low, City are in heaven, and we will ship seven, Unable to stem City's flow. A man living in Sengal, Is said to have only one ball."

[cup of tea]

The airport - I'm sat at the gate I hope that my plane is not late Aviation fuel for cash Lets hope you don't crash Or Turkey you won't have on your plate To the Etihad West Ham must go We're sinking and we are very low

[Mike Oxsaw]

"At the lido she went for a swim When she felt something grabbing her quim She gave a short ""Eek!"" Then it started to leak As she waddled across to the gym. The airport - I'm sat at the gate I hope that my plane is not late"

[Helmut Shown]

She makes me want one off the wrist A new scrounger on the Civil List She'll soon get the pip Bouncing on Harry's tip He may end up giving a fist At the lido she went for a swim When she felt something grabbing her quim

[arsene york-hunt]

"So the workd cup draw has been done But in Russia will there be sun, Russians know the ropes , With their brown envelopes, They'll be threatening refs with a gun. She makes me want one off the wrist A new scrounger on the Civil List"

[cup of tea]

There was a young man from Nepal. Who sat around doing fuck all He used to 'read' Razzle In a bit of a dazzle And over the birds he would drool So the workd cup draw has been done But in Russia will there be sun

[arsene york-hunt]

In his office President Trump Was busy thumping his stump But then he was seen Wiping knob on the screen The sight gave Melania the hump. There was a young man from Nepal. Who sat around doing fuck all

[Helmut Shown]

There was once a really lazy git Wouldn't get from the bath for a shit His one major fear Was to get diarrhoea With an all over tan he would sit In his office President Trump Was busy thumping his stump

[Westham67]

There was a young man from Senegal Who couldn't control a ball His name was Kouyate A black belt in Karate He'd usually run for fuck all

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a you g girl from Kirkcaldy Who liked to keep her quim baldy She said it was great With some lubricate, When shoving in a garibaldi. There was once a really lazy git Wouldn't get from the bath for a shit"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Hants, Used to walk about with no pants But she dropped in the shit Where she chose to sit A dirt hill infested with ants There was a you g girl from Kirkcaldy Who liked to keep her quim baldy"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The team are down on their luck 'Cause most of them don't give a fuck Sod the league table, I'm off to see Mabel, For a full strip hand job and a suck.. There was a young lady from Hants, Used to walk about with no pants"