New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Xmas and new year is boring So sit and do nothing and start snoring Then awake with a start To a vile turkey fart ""Don't do that Dad"" the kids are imploring The team are crown on their luck 'Cause most of them don't give a fuck"

[Helmut Shown]

"Xmas and new year is boring So sit and do nothing and start snoring Then awake with a start To a vile turkey fart ""Don't do that Dad"" the kids are imploring The team are crown on their luck 'Cause most of them front give a fuck"

[cup of tea]

Something we've got to admit Our players are as shower of shit They just don't give a fuck So we're down on our luck So on to WHO for some wit Xmas and new year is boring So sit and do nothing and start snoring

[Helmut Shown]

Fuck me it is rather cold Snow later on so I am told The chill in my guts Looking at those mutts And the beating that they have been doled Something we've got to admit Our players are as shower of shit

[cup of tea]

Allerdici is now a blue Scouse Though his tactics may make him a louse The stupid old fuck Looks like a fat duck Waddling around an old house Fuck me it is rather cold Snow later on so I am told

[HairyHammer]

"The weather has become quite chilly so oh so small becomes my willy But why should I mind If my cock I cant find I'll just drink till I'm pissed and act silly, Allerdici is now a blue Scouse Though his tactics may make him a louse"

[cup of tea]

"So, Noah, he built this great ark, And then he thought, just for a lark I'll fill it with acid from my tool that is flacid after tossing myself in the park The weather has become quite chilly so oh so small becomes my willy"

[cup of tea]

"So, Noah, he built this great ark, And then he thought, just for a lark I'll fill it with acid from my tool that is flacid after tossing myself in the park The weather has become quite chilly so oh so small becomes my willy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Whilst wanking myself off silly Over some young sort and a filly I unleashed my load All over the road By a brothel, just off Piccadilly So, Noah, he built this great ark, And then he thought, just for a lark"

[cup of tea]

"There was an old man from Broadstairs, Engaged in a string of affairs. He went to the doc With an itchy sore cock And said it was all for just dares Whilst wanking myself off silly Over some young sort and a filly"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An actor from East Bombay In the middle of an awful play. Did not come in on cue And knew not what to do, So minced off the stage like a gay. There was an old man from Broadstairs, Engaged in a string of affairs."

[HairyHammer]

"A vicar while doing his job, To an old widow flashed his knob As quick as a flash She grabbed it like cash And swallowed it whole in her gob An actor from East Bombay Was in the middle of an awful play"

[HairyHammer]

"She collected Panini football stickers They'd swap them for a flash of her knickers But in no time at all She was as fat as a ball Pleading sod the cards, I want snickers. ""To be or not to be she said"" As she bent down to give some head"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She collected Panini football stickers They'd swap them for a flash of her knickers But they stopped their ""cors"", When they saw in her drawers A big lump that looked like a snickers. A vicar while doing his job, To an old widow flashed his knob"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl, still at school Over whom all the perverts would drool With nipples protruding And hormones exuding Made her teacher start rubbing his tool She collected Panini football stickers They'd swap them for a flash of her knickers"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"My mate Gary from Calcutta Once coughed up some bile in a splutter Put all he was able In a pot, with a label And sold it as fresh garlic butter. There was a young girl, still at school Over whom all the perverts would drool"

[cup of tea]

A bloke I know called Theodore Had ambitions to be in hardcore With a cock like a snake And women with tits that were fake He fucked them like a cheap little whore My mate Gary from Calcutta Once coughed up some bile in a splutter

[arsene york-hunt]

"Their record against us affronts Let's hope we can beat the scouse cunts, But I don't fancy it And think we'll be shit, As the crap that we've become confronts. A bloke I know called Theodore Had ambitions to be in hardcore"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young girl with a fanny like a bucket Said ""I know what, I'll just fuck it"" On a large ceramic knob She started to bob Then gave it to her man to suck it Their record against us affronts Let's hope we can beat the scouse cunts"

[cup of tea]

"In a brothel near Dagenham docks, They charged extra for blokes with big cocks Whether six inches or ten Or called Len, Ben or Den You'd often see them wearing their frocks A young girl with a fanny like a bucket Said ""I know what, I'll just fuck it"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was a man, very lonely, Who booked a new whore, for a pony This ageing old belle Was performing quite well, But her groans he thought rather phoney. In a brothel near Dagenham docks, They charged extra for blokes with big cocks"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Laura on ""A Place in the Sun"" I'd really like to give her one. Ant that Baby Spice? She's not quite as nice I'm told, though that blonde's have more fun. There once was a man, very lonely, Who booked a new whore, for a pony"

[Helmut Shown]

"The partner of wee Jimmy Krankie, Once left the stage for a quick wankie As he shot his load The ejaculant flowed And he caught the drips in his hankie Laura on ""A Place in the Sun"" I'd really like to give her one"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The weather has now turned to frost So up goes my drum heating cost But instead of bleating About my central heating I should have stayed in bed and tossed. The partner of wee Jimmy Kranke, Once left the stage for a quick wankie"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A name that always gets a a titter. Is that of Paul Gadd (Gary Glitter). A true model yid Who quite likes a kid So hire him as your baby sitter. The weather has now turned to frost So up goes my drum heating cost