New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"A brothel in Newcastle on Tyne, That gave loyalty points and free wine. A regular there Was too pissed to care So his next fuck he had to decline He is on the sex offenders list 'Cause in a playground he stopped and he pissed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Trumps father a very rich crook A mix of Hitler and Fritzel in his look, I haven't got time, For political rhyme, So I say you can just sling your hook. A brothel in Newcastle on Tyne, That gave loyalty points and free wine."

[HairyHammer]

"There once was a young man from Fife, Who was rather bored with his wife A notorious bitch Who made his dick itch So one night her arse took his knife. Trumps father a very rich crook A mix of Hitler and Fritzel in his look"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A munter who lives down my street Is fat and has got smelly feet She has halitosis And schizoid psychosis, My orgasm alas incomplete. There once was a young man from Fife, Who was rather bored with his wife"

[Mike Oxsaw]

It is said that behind closed doors Women put their hands in their drawers So's not to be seen When flicking the bean And singing along with The Corrs. A munter who lives down my street Is fat and has got smelly feet

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in Mogadishu, I met a girl that i once knew An ISIS bride Now sitting astride A cock poking up her flue It is said that behind closed doors Women put their hands in their drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"oops... In a brothel in Mogadishu, I met a girl that i once knew"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My screen-saver displays something rude: A pretty young girl in the nude In an open legs pose, Her clitoris shows, Her anus too, it's rather crude. In a brother in Mogadishu, I met a girl that i once knew"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Fat Frank as Moyes number two? Is enough to make anyone spew And like his old man, Was always a fan, As those that were close to him knew* My screen-saver displays something rude: A pretty young girl in the nude * - it's called SARCASM, right??? RIGHT???!!! Good."

[Helmut Shown]

A dirty old cսnt called Mark. Used to pick up kids in the parK With sweeties in hand Whilst flashing his gland He behaved like a predatory shark Fat Frank as Moyes number two? Is enough to make anyone spew

[arsene york-hunt]

A dirty old cսnt called Mark. Used to pick up kids in the park

[arsene york-hunt]

"Carroll wants us there at the end Going early? Heaven forfend! When the game's just 4 - 0, You should all wait until. The equaliser ere you descend. A dirty old cսnt called Mark. Used to pick up kids in the par"

[Helmut Shown]

I once bought a brand new triangle And learned to play Mr Bojangle But not as was planned It fell from my hand On my crotch and dingled my dangle Carroll wants us there at the end Going early? Heaven forfend!

[Hermit Road]

"There once was a bloke called big Bob, Who was rather a corpulent slob His weight caused much strife When he serviced his wife And then fell asleep on the job. I once bought a brand new triangle And learned to play Mr Bojangle"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Mancini, Guardiola and Klopp Some say these managers are on top, But I like fat Sam, I'm a very big fan, He's a regular in the tuck shop. There once was a bloke called big Bob, Who was rather a corpulent slob"

[cup of tea]

"How many games do we give Moyes, Until out of the pram come the toys? Some say give him time Coz are players are fine But v good teams they just look like small boys Mancini, Guardiola and Klopp Some say these managers are on top"

[cup of tea]

"How many games do we give Moyes, Until out of the pram come the toys? Some say give him time Coz are players are fine But v good teams they just look like small boys Mancini, Guardiola and Klopp Some say these managers are on top"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"At home we couldn't be worse Can Moyes lift this curse? Fat chance with these owners They've made us all moaners More life in the back of a hearse. How many games do we give Moyes, Until out of the pram come the toys?"

[Helmut Shown]

A cordon bleu chef called Gaston Had bum sex with the dish washer Ron He didn't wash his hands The reviewer understands So his Michelin star has now gone At home we couldn't be worse Can Moyes lift this curse?

[arsene york-hunt]

"A man who caught his wife cheating Though her lover came with a greeting It made him quite irate, As he was his best mate. So he gave him a fucking good beating. A cordon bleu chef called Gaston Had bum sex with the dish washer Ron"

[HairyHammer]

"A man in a white mac would go, To an old striptease club in Soho And under that mac His tiny cock he would jack Until every last drop did flow A man who caught his wife cheating Though her lover came with a greeting"

[northbanker]

"When he grew up, Andy Pandy Held his cock and was feeling randy He thought Muffin the Mule Would be rather cool With his tongue he could be rather handy. A man in a white mac would go, To an old striptease club in Soho"

[Helmut Shown]

"A pervert from NEAR Malden Rushet Was sniffing his mum's dirty gusset The drawers were quite ripe The long legged type Round the bum was a streak of russet When he grew up, Andy Pandy Held his cock and was feeling randy"

[arsene york-hunt]

A pervert from NEAR Malden Rushet Was sniffing his mum's dirty gusset

[arsene york-hunt]

"Staying up this seasons a must Or else the club may go bust We've been down before, And still big crowds we draw, To tell you the truth I'm not fussed. A pervert from Malden Rushet Was sniffing his mum's dirty gusset"