New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I was thinking to go down the pub But instead I'll click on Pornhub The girls were so young, So, just for some fun, I gave my John Thomas a rub. She knelt down then got on all fours Said ""Help yourself to my back doors."""

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"This morning I wasn't quite able To get to the bog, lay a cable Talking of turds I like it when birds Shit on a glass coffee table I as thinking to go down the pub But instead I'll click on Pornhub"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A feisty young girl from St Mawes Would wear a short skirt and no drawers A breeze from the west Would lift up her vest And prove her the queen of all whores. This morning I wasn't quite able To get to the bog, lay a cable."

[Helmut Shown]

"She was worse the wear from the booze, Ugly with piercings and tattoos It's quarter to two What can you do? Us beggars we can't choose A feisty young girl from St Mawes Would wear a short skirt and no drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I asked my wife for a quick nosh She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh. With this bad injury Ended in A & E. When i met her I thought she was posh. She was worse the wear from the booze, Ugly with piercings and tattoos."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from Ibiza, Thought by most to be a prick teaser. She'd give you, for free, A bad STD But only if you're a real geezer. I asked my wife for a quick nosh She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A footballer who came from Korea Is a diving cheat, so I hear. Fourrbees say: 'snot funny, A fine man's our Sonny."" But that's just verbal diarrhoea. There was a young girl from Ibiza, Thought by most to be a prick teaser"

[Helmut Shown]

"Of girls I've known there's been some Who preferred to be fucked up the bum But stick it up dry You'll get a black eye Use lube and apply with the thumb A footballer who came from Korea Is a diving cheat, so I hear"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Cunnilingus is really quite tough When the girl has a thick bushy muff. But, part all that hair And the pussy is there For many, that's more than enough. Of girls I've known there's been some Who preferred to be fucked up the bum."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

He wanted an option that’s cheap In a field he shagged an old sheep He tried to purge His bestial urge But he really didn't fancy Bo Peep Cunnilingus is really quite tough When the girl has a thick bushy muff

[Helmut Shown]

"Will the dinosaur be any bolder. It's my last game as an ST holder, I’ve given up hope Because of the dope He has no plan B in his folder He wanted an option that’s cheap In a field he shagged an old sheep"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now Villa are failing, it seems Like all other Top English teams But there are fuck all, Who like West Ham fall, About which on this thread are reams. Will the dinosaur be any bolder. It's my last game as an ST holder,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Disgust is normally voiced If you ask a girl if she's moist But ask if she's wet It's a near certain bet It's you up the yard-arm she'll hoist Now Villa are failing, it seems Like all other Top English teams"

[Helmut Shown]

As I really don’t hate Luton Town I hope that Notts Forest go down Gibbs-White takes a fall For a red card call A cheat of appalling renown Disgust is normally voiced If you ask a girl if she's moist

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In a brothel near East India docks, A young man was given the pox There’s a risk of disease From the women who please As a result of so many cocks As I really don’t hate Luton Town I hope that Notts Forest go down"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady from Brighton The back of her skirt had shite on Caused shame and heartache, But learned from her mistake, Next time she'll shit with the light on. In a brothel near East india docks, A young man was given the pox"

[Helmut Shown]

"He tried to curl out on the bog, Producing a twig, not a log Eating liquorice and prunes Produced nothing but fumes Well, that's what it said on his blog There was a young lady from Brighton The back of her skirt had shite on"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She thought it unfair, his insisting, To give her a regular fisting. In her arse she could park, Noah's fine ark Without it capsizing or listing. He tried to curl out on the bog, Producing a twig, not a log,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She thought it unfair, his insisting, To give her a regular fisting. In her arse she could park, Noah's fine ark Without it capsizing or listing. He tried to curl out on the bog, Producing a twig, not a log,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Philosopher René Descartes Would often sneeze when he'd fart, So nobody around Could hear the loud sound While he held his arse cheeks apart. She thought it unfair, his insisting, To give her a regular fisting."

[Helmut Shown]

"So now getting back to the smut I gave her one right up the butt On withdrawal, not pretty My helmet all shitty And a watery fart when it shut Philosopher René Descartes Would often sneeze when he'd fart"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

His excuses would bore me to tears I'll celebrate with a couple of beers So now Moyes is toast What we should all want the most Is Champions League in under 3 years So now getting back to the smut I gave her one right up the butt

[Helmut Shown]

"Yet again we have run out of ""luck,"" But now I just don't give a fuck An appalling display At the home of the gay But at least there's no more lame duck His excuses would bore me to tears I'll celebrate with a couple of beers"

[Helmut Shown]

"Yet again we have run out of ""luck,"" But now I just don't give a fuck An appalling display At the home of the gay But at least there's no more lame duck His excuses would bore me to tears I'll celebrate with a couple of beers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Ipswich fulfilling their dreams Yet another of our bogey teams, We play like we're pissed Yet one more to the list, All the PL our bogies it seems. Yet again we have run out of ""luck,"" But now I just don't give a fuck."