New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"A dusky young girl from the East Her cսnt smelt of Stilton and yeast. A bloke from near Roma Then sniffed this aroma, Then licked it and thought it a feast. London Stadium the fifth of May. For us Hammers a wonderful day"

[easthambull]

A hapless retro freak named Mick Had an accident on his pogo stick Whilst hopping through cones Disguised as The Stones He fell on his whizzened old prick A dusky young girl from the East Her cսnt smelt of Stilton and yeast

[easthambull]

A hapless retro freak named Mick Had an accident on his pogo stick Whilst hopping through cones Disguised as The Stones He fell on his whizzened old prick A dusky young girl from the East Her cսnt smelt of Stilton and yeast

[Far East Hammer]

"It matters not how we all try, This bloody thread simply won't die Full of rhymes absurd Quality of turd Here's another to make you sigh A hapless retro freak named Mick Had an accident on his pogo stick"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"As I'd be the first to confess I'm not a picture of fitness Spending most of my days In a drug induced haze I am, in the main, a real mess. It matters not how we all try, This bloody thread simply won't die"

[Far East Hammer]

"A story I think you may like, A boy put his finger in a dyke. It gave her the hump She gave him a thump And yelled ""fuck off you pervie tyke"" As I'd be the first to confess I'm not a picture of fitness"

[Saul Bollox]

"When it comes to performing in bed Tall blondes are much better, it's said, But they cost a lot more, So when choosing a whore. You could try the pygmy instead. A story I think you may like, A boy put his finger in a dyke."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A wife from old Santiago Put her man on a sex embargo To settle the score He banged an old whore Who he met in a bar in Wells Fargo When it comes to performing in bed Tall blondes are much better, it's said"

[Helmut Shown]

A Yorkshireman stirring his brew Decided to try some thing new Being a bit thick Stirred his tea with his dick It now looks like that of a Jew A wife from old Santiago Put her man on a sex embargo

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Thiruvanamthapuram A young man once bum-fucked a ram He got off scot-free, His religion, you see, Explicitly states that he can. A Yorkshireman stirring his brew Decided to try something new."

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old man from Iran Was caught having sex with a man, This hapless old poof * Was thrown from a roof, As decreed by the local Imam. *with scouse accent. In Thiruvanamthapuram A young man once bum-fucked a ram"

[Helmut Shown]

A scotsman called Hamish McFail Once bought a new car in a sale Didn't go as was planned He got himself banned After one night out on the ale There was an old man from Iran Was caught having sex with a man

[Saul Bollox]

"My wallpaper paste is too runny I really don't find it that funny A heavy embossed Onto the wall was tossed, But it slid off, a big waste of money. A scotsman called Hamish McFail Once bought a new car in a sale"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A scientist from Little Rock, Made a potion to enhance his cock The surge in it's size Caught him by surprise, It's twinned now with Dagenham Dock. My wallpaper paste is too runny I really don't find it that funny"

[Saul Bollox]

"The taxmen have taken our books Are they saying that our admin are crooks? They're checking the vice Of that Sam Allardyce, A man not reknowned for good looks. A scientist from Little Rock, Made a potion to enhance his cock"

[Helmut Shown]

"I hate when I hear a phone ring And no cսnt will answer the thing It may come to pass I get up off my arse Or not, I may pull my hamstring The taxmen have taken our books Are they saying that our admin are crooks?"

[Helmut Shown]

"I hate when I hear a phone ring And no cսnt will answer the thing It may come to pass I get up off my arse Or not, I may pull my hamstring The taxmen have taken our books Are they saying that our admin are crooks?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Poor Orient are now down and out West Ham's fault no doubt We sure could have saved 'em By sharing our stadium. ""What BASTARDS!"" the meeja will shout! I hate when I hear a phone ring And no cսnt will answer the thing"

[Helmut Shown]

"So summer, it will soon be here I shall greet it with gusto and cheer From my window I'm seeing The rain, it is peeing Perhaps its only just here Poor Orient are now down and out West Ham's fault no doubt"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An old man died whilst on the job, And he had a very stiff knob His heirs did not waste His wallpaper paste - They sold it for thirty-five bob. So summer, it will soon be here I shall greet it with gusto and cheer"

[Saul Bollox]

"A slapper from Salisbury Hill Who went by the name of ""Mad Jill"" For blacks twas a pinch, As she charged by the inch But Chinamen got a cheap thrill. An old man died whilst on the job, And he had a very stiff knob"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain With folk from the south, He'd oft use his mouth He claimed it was not so much pain . A slapper from Salisbury Hill Who went by the name of ""Mad Jill"""

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn, But what was much worse, And made his missus curse It was gay men and he had the horn. A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain"

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn, But what was much worse, And made his missus curse It was gay men and he had the horn. A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain"

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn, But what was much worse, And made his missus curse It was gay men and he had the horn. A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain"