New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"Our get up and go appears spent I think its got up and went, We must play with some grit, Or be right in the shit. Three points from these cunts must be rent. There was a young girl from Sri Lanka. Once worked for a big merchant banker"

[Helmut Shown]

"So, now we've lost five on the trot. Our confidence surely is shot We're deep in the shit With half the team fit And of those, one's a hunchback Scot Our get up and go appears spent I think its got up and went"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Philosopher Rene Descartes Once dropped (a) loud horse and cart. And the smell still persists, Which PROVES God exists, And people like him are dead smart. So, now we've lost five on the trot. Our confidence surely is shot"

[Saul Bollox]

"You read this but don't play a part, You arrogant boring old fart My attention was torn Playing on my horn A selection by Lionel Bart. Philosopher Rene Descartes Once dropped loud horse and cart."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Pantieless in mini-skirt And wearing a see-through shirt Was, I must confess Not my best style of dress For my day job - that's spying (covert) You read this but don't play a part, You arrogant boring old fart"

[Far East Hammer]

"In a nudist camp down by the Liffy I'd an uncontrollable stiffy Still, 'twas useful when I shat I hung the bogroll from that I could get a sheet in a jiffy Pantieless in mini-skirt And wearing a see-through shirt"

[joe blob]

"I think I might go up to Ely To look at that church, mate. Yes! Really. It was there in my teens, Felt a hand in my jeans As a vicar became touchy-feely. In a nudist camp down by the Liffy I'd an uncontrollable stiffy"

[joe blob]

"I think I might go up to Ely To look at that church, mate. Yes! Really. It was there in my teens, Felt a hand in my jeans As a vicar became touchy-feely. In a nudist camp down by the Liffy I'd an uncontrollable stiffy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I went to a chum's birthday bash, But needed a quick Johnny Cash But the bog was in use So I pissed out my juice Then slipped out the back in a dash I think I might go up to Ely To look at that church, mate. Yes! Really."

[Saul Bollox]

"Today I went out for a stroll, To make myself fit was my goal Leaving my abode, I walked down the road, And then went to collect my dole. I went to a chum's birthday bash, But needed a quick Johnny Cash"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Poor Trump is now drained and white As Trumpcare is so stupid and shite I'm sure he just meant To become president And see all his mates sorted out right. Today I went out for a stroll, To make myself fit was my goal"

[HairyHammer]

It's said presenter Bamber Gascoigne Picked up girls in the Bois de Boulogne His favorite ones Were the ones with big bums With a penchant for tickling groin Poor Trump is now drained and white As Trumpcare is so stupid and shite

[les marteaux]

"I'm not a great fan of Hip-Hop It's something I wouldn't call pop Monotonous words Non tunes, ""sung"" by turds, Oh how I wish it would just stop. It's said presenter Bamber Gascoigne, Picked up girls in the Bois de Boulogne"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man who was just four foot nine Had a penis that was long thick and fine He would oft whip it out And the people would shout, But the girls always said they liked mine I'm not a great fan of Hip-Hop It's something I wouldn't call pop"

[HairyHammer]

A young boy from Azerbaijan Was bum-fucked by the local Imam He thought oh what a feast No more the Catholic priest Now I'm Aziz of East Lankaran. A man who was just four foot nine Had a penis that was long thick and fine

[les marteaux]

"With 55,000 on the waiting list Make sure your ticket is not missed. With so many around We will fill our ground Small club? you must be fucking pissed. A young boy from Azerbaijan. Was bum-fucked by the local Imam"

[eswing hammer]

"I've just broke me best china mug So, tea I now drink from a jug I accidentally sqeezed my birds tits To only get the milk bits I only meant to give her a hug With 55,000 on the waiting list Make sure your ticket is not missed"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The great jazz singer Nat King Cole, Shoved a Mars bar up his arsehole Then a blueberry pie Right in his jap's eye And into his ear a ham roll I've just broke me best china mug So, tea I now drink from a jug"

[Saul Bollox]

"The pikey was sat in the pub As the landlord put out some free grub To the bar he did race, To stuff his ugly face, Things not done in the rotary club. The great jazz singer Nat King Cole, Shoved a Mars bar up his arsehole"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man from Leeds, Who suffered fro bad rectal bleeds. He got the right hump When he went for a dump But bowels have their own tasks and deeds The pikey was sat in the pub As the landlord put out some free grub"

[Saul Bollox]

"I sprang out of bed in a flash So desperately needing a slash But it leaked out too quick From my semi hard sick And over my feet it did SPLASH There was a young man from Leeds, Who suffered fro bad rectal bleeds."

[Saul Bollox]

"I sprang out of bed in a flash So desperately needing a slash But it leaked out too quick From my semi hard sick And over my feet it did slash. There was a young man from Leeds, Who suffered fro bad rectal bleeds."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A sexy porn star called May Was shooting a film in LA. ""A bone up the arse?"" ""On that I'll just pass"" ""I don't want you thinking I'm gay"". I sprang out of bed in a flash So desperately needing a slash"

[Saul Bollox]

"With a tweezer he pulled out a hair From his balls and down rolled a tear, It's not worth the pain, For such minimal gain. This naturism's a mare A sexy porn star called May Was shooting a film in LA."

[Saul Bollox]

"I've just got out a hot bath And now I think, just for a laugh, Spend the rest of the morn Surfing internet porn. Have I got a stiffy, not 'arf. A sexy porn star called May Was shooting a film in LA."