New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

A young lady from Afganistan With no veil defiled the Taliban

[Saul Bollox]

Almost fit again was Payet When he espied a large buffet Made up of horse entrails And freshly picked snail He thought this is as good as it gets. A lady from Afganistan Was defying the burkha ban

[Far East Hammer]

Next up we've got West Brom Will we stuff them with great aplomb Or a collapse Leading to flaps As WHO morale takes a bomb? Almost fit again was Payet When he espied a large buffet

[Saul Bollox]

"It is said that Oginga Odinga Got a young boy to sit on his finger A change from his wife, The bane of his life, Who all agreed was a right minger. Next up we've got West Brom Will we stuff them with great aplomb"

[Saul Bollox]

"It is said that Oginga Odinga Got a young boy to sit on his finger A change from his wife, The bane of his life, Who all agreed was a right minger. Next up we've got West Brom Will we stuff them with great aplomb"

[Helmut Shown]

"A camper took a young lad to rent, Did lewd things with him in a tent For a quite princely sum He buggered his bum Between you and me he's bent It is said that Oginga Odinga Got a young boy to sit on his finger"

[Saul Bollox]

"A player, its alleged, in a scrum Poked a finger up another man's bum No action was taken His ID was mistaken, Despite making the ""victim"" come. A camper took a young lad to rent, Did lewd things with him in his tent"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that our barmaid called Rosie Gives blow jobs quite fandabidozy Without any grace She'll then straddle your face And impale her twat on your nosey A player, its alleged, in a scrum Poked a finger up another man's bum"

[Saul Bollox]

"A woman, on telly, last night Said something that didn't sound right She said that she smiles, When her Chalfont St. Giles Hang out after having a shite. It's said that our barmaid called Rosie Gives blow jobs quite fandabidozy."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A lady from the Three Degrees Makes a whistling noise when she pees But the stench of the smog When she curls out a log Doth strip all the bark from the trees A woman, on telly, last night Said something that didn't sound right"

[Helmut Shown]

Prostitutes in Sierra Leone Now advertise to your iPhone With those big rubber lips And very wide hips I'd rather spend the night alone A lady from the Three Degrees Makes a whistling noise when she pees

[Saul Bollox]

"He's gone now and fucking good riddance No salary at the board's forbiddance, Tapped up by Marseilles Just this would say: ""Let's hope the cսnt sells for a pittance."" Prostitutes in Sierra Leonne Now advertise to your iPhone"

[Helmut Shown]

The Payet rumours the press are sowing. We know not if he's coming or going He thinks he's exempt From supporters contempt To us his arsehole he's showing He's gone now and fucking good riddance No salary at the board's forbiddance

[Saul Bollox]

After curry and pints too many My guts started feeling quite funny The first squeezed out log Bespattered the bog After which my ars'ole was runny. The Payet rumours the press are sowing. We know not if he's coming or going

[Saul Bollox]

After curry and pints too many My guts started feeling quite funny The first squeezed out log Bespattered the bog Following that my ars'ole was runny. The Payet rumours the press are sowing. We know not if he's coming or going

[Far East Hammer]

In a laundry quite near Upton Park They found drawers with a massive skid mark. Can't you bleedin' see Nowt to do with me! If you think so you're having a lark After curry and pints too many My guts started feeling quite funny

[joe blob]

"I'm waiting for judges to vote And draw up the bridge on the moat, Hope that they reward us By closing our borders, And let in not one more Muslim scrote In a laundry quite near Upton Park They found drawers with a massive skid mark."

[joe blob]

"Whilst exploring the Orinoco My local tribal guide went loco, He fell on one knee, Started worshiping me, It seems he thought I was Bob Stokoe. In a laundry quite near Upton Park They found drawers with a massive skid mark."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Whilst exploring the Orinoco My local tribal guide went loco Now, what a ""to do""! He sank my canoe And ruined my cargo of cocoa I'm waiting for judges to vote And draw up the bridge on the moat"

[Far East Hammer]

"The life is not very easy, When travelling up the Zambezi Beware of hippo When you've got to poo Else you'll have a shock quite nasty Whilst exploring the Orinoco My local tribal guide went loco"

[joe blob]

"The choice for my dinner tonight? Pure stodgy or something quite light? Beans and spam fritter Washed down with much bitter Then my flatulence I can ignite. The life is not very easy, When travelling up the Zambezi"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young prostitute from Paris Did tricks taking it up the 'aris. She let punters cum Deep inside her bum Then fart in the style of Bob Harris. The choice for my dinner tonight? Pure stodgy or something quite light?

[joe blob]

"I was uncomfortable and began to fidget The doctor spread lube on his digit Bent with legs apart, I let out a loud fart, Right in his face as he's a midget. A young prostitute from Paris Did tricks taking it up the 'aris."

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm off for an afternoon nap, As soon as I've had a good crap I can't go to bed Til I've squeezed my head I'll just make my way to the trap I was uncomfortable and began to fidget The doctor spread lube on his digit"

[Saul Bollox]

"The council won't empty my bin They say ""Overfull - that's a sin"" So I'm dumping it all, Outside the town hall. I don't think the cunts then will grin. I'm off for an afternoon nap, As soon as I've had a good crap."