New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"The damp in my drum has got worse, The mould & the fungus I curse, So I'm off to imbibe, It's to hard to describe, Without an expletive intersperse. He said to his mates with bravado, I'll beat you all at Escalado"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"'Twas inevitable in the end My wife's ran off with my best friend They clicked at a party Discussing karate On here my free time I now spend. The damp in my drum has got worse, The mould & the fungus I curse"

[Saul Bollox]

"I dined out on a rather hot curry And now I rush home in a hurry I shit in ecstasy, Whistling softly softly, A tune by the great Ruby Murray. 'Twas inevitable in the end My wife's ran off with my best friend"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Another german named Fritz Also suffered from the shitz Now this sounds absurd, But from some of his turd They fashioned the cruiser Turpitz I dined out on a rather hot curry And now I rush home in a hurry"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young German soldier called Hans Was court martialed for crapping his pants, Sometimes to this you yield, While on the battlefield, But not a swimming pool in Hants. Another german named Fritz Also suffered from the shitz"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young German soldier called Hans Was court martialed for crapping his pants, Sometimes to this you yield, While on the battlefield, But not in a swimming pool Hants. Another german named Fritz Also suffered from the shitz"

[Helmut Shown]

"Whilst sailing the world in my yacht, I'm more of a have than have not Many would condemn Betting on ERM But I'm a cheating conniving twat A young German soldier called Hans Was court martialed for crapping his pants"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a old hotel bog in Tahiti, I sat there reading the graffiti Before I got started The cսnt next door farted It smelt kind of eggy and meaty. Whilst sailing the world in my yacht, I'm more of a have than have-not"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm going to download a new ""App"", That tells me the best time to crap, When you hear the alarm, Just try to keep calm, And go quickly to the nearest trap, In a old hotel bog in Tahiti, I sat there reading the graffiti"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Bill Cotton Band Show's Alan Breeze, Could belt out a ballad with ease. But at progressive rock, He was absolute cock: Bum notes, using all the wrong keys. I'm going to download a new ""App"", That tells me the best time to crap"

[joe blob]

"A pirate who was out at sea Had the cabin boy sat on his knee The pirate, called Cliffy, Then got a big stiffy, Then out came the KY Jelly. Bill Cotton Band Show's Alan Breeze, Could belt out a ballad with ease."

[Helmut Shown]

A naughty young lady who was called Madge Did anything for a Blue Peter badge Frustrated until She met Jimmy Savill And allowed him to lick out her vag A pirate who was out at sea Had the cabin boy sat on his knee

[Far East Hammer]

At that moment I felt I had flopped Dropped a cabbage in Double or Drop It fell to the floor I cried more and more Crackerjack's no longer my top A naughty young lady who was called Madge Did anything for a Blue Peter badge

[joe blob]

Some people want fatty back And give Slaven Bilic the sack It makes me dismayed the shit that we played It seems that they've been on the crack. At that moment I felt I had flopped Dropped a cabbage in Double or Drop

[Helmut Shown]

Some fans are really unable To handle our place in the table They'll only be happy In a ground that is crappy And smells like a race horse stable Some people want fatty back And give Slaven Bilic the sack

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Fuck me there's a knicker wetter Now claiming Fat Sam was better But, curses and poxes, Ticks all the board's boxes They've already sent him a letter. Some fans are really unable To handle our place in the table"

[Far East Hammer]

"To the stands at the theatre of scum, Is where ethnic minorities come. The cockney reds Emerge from sheds But only if they're let by their Mum Fuck me there's a knicker wetter Now claiming Fat Sam was better"

[Saul Bollox]

"More injuries and another drubbing And Andy Carroll out clubbing, Our defence is so weak, And the outlook so bleak, For any point we'll be grubbing. To the stands at the theatre of scum, Is where ethnic minorities come."

[Saul Bollox]

"More injuries and another drubbing And Andy Carroll out clubbing, Our defence is so weak, And the outlook so bleak, For any point we'll be grubbing. To the stands at the theatre of scum, Is where ethnic minorities come."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Dorset, Was seen wearing his old lady's corset But when it came up to his tits He strangled his bits Castrating himself trying to force it More injuries and another drubbing And Andy Carroll out clubbing"

[Saul Bollox]

"On Saturday we play the Arse A victory or utter farce? A famous victory Or letting in three I wonder what will come to pass. There was a young man from Dorset, Was seen wearing his old lady's corset"

[Saul Bollox]

"The kid sat upon Santa's lap Dressed in his finest school cap, Santa said: ""Ho ho ho"" The kid said ""Let me go, I'm not buying all this Chrsimas crap"" There was a young man from Dorset, Was seen wearing his old lady's corset"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Fucking Christmas is coming again I want to shut it from my brain And that cսnt Noel Will get it as well The whole thing just sends me insane The kid sat upon Santa's lap Dressed in his finest school cap

[Helmut Shown]

Fucking Christmas is coming again I want to shut it from my brain Bah humbug I say And will every day 'Til New Year I'll fucking abstain On Saturday we play the Arse A victory or utter farce? .

[Saul Bollox]

Ignore that. Fucking Chrismas is coming again I want to shut it from my brain