New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Pete Townsend, Rolf Harris, Paul Gadd, Discussed the best date that, they'd had All of them knew That kids over two Could grass and agreed that was bad. So, FIFA's approach to the Poppy Shows thinking that really is sloppy"

[joe blob]

"As I get up to depart I often let out a small fart, To be very quiet,, Is the way that I try it. Last night's noise? right off the chart. Pete Townsend, Rolf Harris, Paul Gadd, Discussed the best date that, they'd had"

[Helmut Shown]

"What fuck-nut thought it was quite neat, In ENGLAND, to go ""Trick or Treat""? Down at number four Gary Glitter at the door Said ""mmm I can smell fresh meat"" As I get up to depart I often let out a small fart"

[Aalborg Hammer]

"There was a young vampire named Mabel, Who's periods were reasonable stable, So one weekend in four, she'd lay on the floor and drink herself under the table"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady from Wednesbury Who down below was really hairy But it wasn't her minge That made us all cringe - The state of her legs was just scary. What fuck-nut thought it was quite neat, In ENGLAND, to go ""Trick or Treat""?"

[Far East Hammer]

A young man who worked on the tote Kept in his back garden a goat But try as he might Couldn't stop his bite So never did go for deep throat A young lady from Wednesbury Who down below was really hairy

[joe blob]

"My woman's hell-bent on a mission To get fucked in every position, Much to her delight, We used dildos last night, That's one step nearer her ambition. A young man who worked on the tote Kept in his back garden a goat"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The press friends of Levy the jew. See trouble is just claret and blue But, here are the facts All due to THEIR tax Our home is all shiny...and NEW! My woman's hell-bent on a mission To get fucked in every position"

[Saul Bollox]

"You want it?! I'm HARD! I'm a MAN! I'll throw you a punch, 'cos I can! Chelsea or Manure, I know I'll be secure There's stewards between me and their clan. The press friends of Levy the jew. See trouble is just claret and blue"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Coins thrown by the scum from Chelsea, I picked up and bought a cup of tea Plus, I didn't wait long As the cash for a scone Sailed silently over to me. You want it?! I'm HARD! I'm a MAN! I'll throw you a punch, 'cos I can!"

[les marteaux]

"My neighbour next door's got a dog. It smells like it lives in the bog It drives me insane When it shits in my drain Which takes a long time to unclog. Coins thrown by the scum from Chelsea, I picked up and bought a cup of tea"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from Cambridge, Who kept her dildos in the fridge What really would please her Was one from the freezer Plunged deep past her vaginal ridge My neighbour next door's got a dog. It smells like it lives in the bog"

[les marteaux]

"A lass from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky Whose bloke was starting to get frisky, She said: ""Don't be a prat Get your hand off my twat. I've a headache now get me some whisky."" There was a young girl from Cambridge, Who kept her dildos in the fridge"

[Far East Hammer]

A girl from Leninsk-Kuznetsky. Once went to her Aunty for tea. She travelled by car For the samovar Her Aunt was glad of company A lass from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky Whose bloke was starting to get frisky

[Saul Bollox]

"A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee And while he was at it, He decided to shit And the fucking stuff landed on me. A girl from Leninsk-Kuznetsky. Once went to her Aunty for tea."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Fuck me! That went well. A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong So he dipped it in acid While it was still flaccid And now it's the shape that's all wrong. A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong So he dipped it in acid While was still flaccid And now it's the shape that's ll wrong. A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee"

[HairyHammer]

"A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark A tramp walking by Could not help but spy Thinking yuk what a dog, she can bark. A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong"

[Saul Bollox]

"It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes, But in Bongo Land Don't point with your hand, Or you'll die at the hand of your foes. A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark."

[Saul Bollox]

"It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes, But in Bongo Land Don't point with your hand, Or you'll die at the hand of your foes. A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Another poet Ogden Nash Would go in an alley to slash He'd much rather wee Against a tall tree But it brings his knob out in a rash. It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes"

[Helmut Shown]

Its said romantic poet John Keats Enjoyed sniffing girls bicycle seats. The ones most whiffy Would give him a stiffy He'd go home make a mess of the sheets Another poet Ogden Nash Would go in an alley to slash

[Saul Bollox]

At the end of my street lives a hag Who keeps all her stuff in a bag Caught pissing in my garden Which gave me a hard on When I'd just popped out for a fag. It said romantic poet John Keats Enjoyed sniffing girls bicycle seats.

[Mike Oxsaw]

"""Daddy why's Jose the special one?"" Giving my answer I did have fun... The media swallow His words oh, so hollow And print them as quotes in the sun. At the end of my street lives a hag Who keeps all her stuff in a bag"

[Far East Hammer]

"A Chelsea fan looking tanned Held some celery aloft in his hand Yelling out ""it's time to fret"" ""This was missed from my prawn baguette"" So now we know where a punch should land ""Daddy why's Jose the special one?"" Giving my answer I did have fun..."