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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 16:39
by Mike Oxsaw
"Pete Townsend, Rolf Harris, Paul Gadd, Discussed the best date that, they'd had All of them knew That kids over two Could grass and agreed that was bad. So, FIFA's approach to the Poppy Shows thinking that really is sloppy"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 16:04
by joe blob
"As I get up to depart I often let out a small fart, To be very quiet,, Is the way that I try it. Last night's noise? right off the chart. Pete Townsend, Rolf Harris, Paul Gadd, Discussed the best date that, they'd had"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 15:07
by Helmut Shown
"What fuck-nut thought it was quite neat, In ENGLAND, to go ""Trick or Treat""? Down at number four Gary Glitter at the door Said ""mmm I can smell fresh meat"" As I get up to depart I often let out a small fart"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 12:27
by Aalborg Hammer
"There was a young vampire named Mabel, Who's periods were reasonable stable, So one weekend in four, she'd lay on the floor and drink herself under the table"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 12:05
by Mike Oxsaw
"A young lady from Wednesbury Who down below was really hairy But it wasn't her minge That made us all cringe - The state of her legs was just scary. What fuck-nut thought it was quite neat, In ENGLAND, to go ""Trick or Treat""?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 01 Nov 2016, 08:28
by Far East Hammer
A young man who worked on the tote Kept in his back garden a goat But try as he might Couldn't stop his bite So never did go for deep throat A young lady from Wednesbury Who down below was really hairy
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Oct 2016, 15:36
by joe blob
"My woman's hell-bent on a mission To get fucked in every position, Much to her delight, We used dildos last night, That's one step nearer her ambition. A young man who worked on the tote Kept in his back garden a goat"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 31 Oct 2016, 10:12
by Mike Oxsaw
"The press friends of Levy the jew. See trouble is just claret and blue But, here are the facts All due to THEIR tax Our home is all shiny...and NEW! My woman's hell-bent on a mission To get fucked in every position"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Oct 2016, 15:12
by Saul Bollox
"You want it?! I'm HARD! I'm a MAN! I'll throw you a punch, 'cos I can! Chelsea or Manure, I know I'll be secure There's stewards between me and their clan. The press friends of Levy the jew. See trouble is just claret and blue"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Oct 2016, 14:55
by Mike Oxsaw
"Coins thrown by the scum from Chelsea, I picked up and bought a cup of tea Plus, I didn't wait long As the cash for a scone Sailed silently over to me. You want it?! I'm HARD! I'm a MAN! I'll throw you a punch, 'cos I can!"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Oct 2016, 16:15
by les marteaux
"My neighbour next door's got a dog. It smells like it lives in the bog It drives me insane When it shits in my drain Which takes a long time to unclog. Coins thrown by the scum from Chelsea, I picked up and bought a cup of tea"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Oct 2016, 06:26
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young girl from Cambridge, Who kept her dildos in the fridge What really would please her Was one from the freezer Plunged deep past her vaginal ridge My neighbour next door's got a dog. It smells like it lives in the bog"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Oct 2016, 21:22
by les marteaux
"A lass from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky Whose bloke was starting to get frisky, She said: ""Don't be a prat Get your hand off my twat. I've a headache now get me some whisky."" There was a young girl from Cambridge, Who kept her dildos in the fridge"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Oct 2016, 17:33
by Far East Hammer
A girl from Leninsk-Kuznetsky. Once went to her Aunty for tea. She travelled by car For the samovar Her Aunt was glad of company A lass from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky Whose bloke was starting to get frisky
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 20:44
by Saul Bollox
"A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee And while he was at it, He decided to shit And the fucking stuff landed on me. A girl from Leninsk-Kuznetsky. Once went to her Aunty for tea."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 20:10
by Mike Oxsaw
"Fuck me! That went well. A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong So he dipped it in acid While it was still flaccid And now it's the shape that's all wrong. A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 20:07
by Mike Oxsaw
"A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong So he dipped it in acid While was still flaccid And now it's the shape that's ll wrong. A monkey, high up in the tree Decided that he had to pee"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 12:06
by HairyHammer
"A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark A tramp walking by Could not help but spy Thinking yuk what a dog, she can bark. A man with a very big shlong That smelt of cheese what a pong"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 04:05
by Saul Bollox
"It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes, But in Bongo Land Don't point with your hand, Or you'll die at the hand of your foes. A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2016, 04:05
by Saul Bollox
"It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes, But in Bongo Land Don't point with your hand, Or you'll die at the hand of your foes. A pregnant bird in the park Had open her legs for a lark."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 23:31
by Mike Oxsaw
"Another poet Ogden Nash Would go in an alley to slash He'd much rather wee Against a tall tree But it brings his knob out in a rash. It's bad form, as everyone knows In Thailand...to point with your toes"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 22:37
by Helmut Shown
Its said romantic poet John Keats Enjoyed sniffing girls bicycle seats. The ones most whiffy Would give him a stiffy He'd go home make a mess of the sheets Another poet Ogden Nash Would go in an alley to slash
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 20:21
by Saul Bollox
At the end of my street lives a hag Who keeps all her stuff in a bag Caught pissing in my garden Which gave me a hard on When I'd just popped out for a fag. It said romantic poet John Keats Enjoyed sniffing girls bicycle seats.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 12:38
by Mike Oxsaw
"""Daddy why's Jose the special one?"" Giving my answer I did have fun... The media swallow His words oh, so hollow And print them as quotes in the sun. At the end of my street lives a hag Who keeps all her stuff in a bag"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 10:00
by Far East Hammer
"A Chelsea fan looking tanned Held some celery aloft in his hand Yelling out ""it's time to fret"" ""This was missed from my prawn baguette"" So now we know where a punch should land ""Daddy why's Jose the special one?"" Giving my answer I did have fun..."