New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

"A young prostitute from Mile End In a car for the punters would bend Every hole they could fill Though her bum made men ill As she'd crap when they'd exit,and offend. A young lad saw his mum astride His dad panting, the lad let out a cry"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man with three balls in the park Fell asleep and then dreamt of a Shark He awoke with a start Let off a big fart, Then realised it was after dark. A young prostitute from Mile End In a car for the punters would bend"

[HairyHammer]

"There once was a lady called Kitty Made her boyfriend lick jam off her clitty He shrieked ""Yuk what a taste"" ""Its just like Fish paste"" ""Which I hate"", she groaned,""what a Pity"" A man with three balls in the park Fell asleep and then dreamt of a Shark"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was an Essex chippy sacked his mate for being very lippy, Enraged by this strife He fucked off to his wife, Who used to work as a clippie. There once was a lady called Kitty, Made her boyfriend lick jam off her clitty"

[,]

"It is said some Essex whores Go.nightclubbing without any drawers left behind by some folk dovetailed joints, made of oak a good use of sharp tenon saws There once was an Essex chippy sacked his mate for being very lippy"

[Helmut Shown]

"A professor from Abergavenny Had a very thick brother named Lenny The people would mock But he had a large cock And girls trailing him, there were many It is said some Essex whores Go.nightclubbing without any drawers"

[HairyHammer]

"There was a young man from Venice In the grand Canal once had a piss On a Gondola that did pass A young lady showed some sass Shouting ""your tiny friend I did miss"". A professor from Abergavenny Had a very thick brother named Lenny"

[joe blob]

"There was an old man from Djakarta A virtuoso musical farter. With panache and flair, Played his favourite air. The Drinking Song from Traviata. There was a young man from Venice, in the Grand Canal once had a piss"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young housewife from Bude, Caught in bed with a bloke in the nude In the shop's bedding section There's a man with an erection Performing some acts very lewd There was an old man from Djakarta A virtuoso musical farter"

[joe blob]

"The republicans have now chosen Trump Let's hope he comes down with a bump, US politics, Is a hobby for pricks Those septics, they give me the hump. There was a young housewife from Bude, Caught in bed with a bloke in the nude"

[Helmut Shown]

"An Indian who fancied a curry After which he did a poo in a hurry, And the smell of his breath Was just like death Perhaps a mint made by Murray The republicans have now chosen Trump Let's hope he comes down with a bump"

[HairyHammer]

"A young man from near Colney Hatch Gazed in wonder at her hairy snatch His beast began to rise As Water poured from his eyes For it smelt like a fish trawlers catch. An Indian who fancied a curry After which he did a poo in a hurry,"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young secretary from Cheam Had a dark disturbing dream Got stuck in a chiller With a ten foot gorilla Being tit-fucked and covered with cream. A young man from near Colney Hatch, Gazed in wonder at her hairy snatch"

[HairyHammer]

"Now my worst nightmare has passed And Spurs are dropping points fast So annoyed they must be Miserable Cocks, all at sea Every Spud, sick with tears and Aghast. A young secretary from Cheam Had a dark disturbing dream"

[Saul Bollox]

"There were no kisses and hugs After a game with two teams of thugs, Daniel Levy's cohorts, A team of bad sports And Chelsea's fucking bunch of mugs. Now my worst nightmare has passed And spurs are dropping points fast."

[Helmut Shown]

"A cabbie from Stamford Hill. Did not work today, He was ill Our 4B2 friend His life wants to end Perhaps a cyanide pill? There were no kisses and hugs After a game with two teams of thugs"

[HairyHammer]

Woy will select Spurs reserves He'll get the plaudits he deserves Within a game or two In June we'll be blue Sour and pickled like preserves. An apple picker from cheam Had a rather unfortunate dream

[HairyHammer]

Woy will select Spurs reserves He'll get the plaudits he deserves Within a game or two In June we'll be blue Sour and pickled like preserves. An apple picker from cheam Had a rather unfortunate dream

[Saul Bollox]

"Woy will select Spurs reserves He'll get the plaudits he deserves, Through that team he'll trawl, But he'll win fuck all, While the Hammers players he swerves. A cabbie from Stamford Hill. Did not work today, He was ill"

[Helmut Shown]

Losing to West Ham was a pain That fuck'd up spurs title campaign The shit slinging yid Will now flip his lid Private eyes he's hired again Woy will select Spurs reserves He'll get the plaudits he deserves

[Saul Bollox]

"Last night an escort I hired This morning I feel so tired She gave a blow job, Then inserted my knob, In her anus, a move much admired. Losing to West Ham was a pain That fuck'd up spurs title campaign"

[Far East Hammer]

"Those four be twos choked yet again, Now in second will they remain? But they tried so hard! - for a yellow card Seems like they lost it, gone insane Last night an escort I hired This morning I feel so tired"

[Saul Bollox]

"At Stratford there'll be jubilant scenes While the yids will be in Milton Keynes, Will their supporters pay, To go there for the day? 'Cos tight-fistedness is in their genes. Those four be twos choked yet again, Now in second will they remain?"

[Helmut Shown]

"Our new stadium, The jealous did spout Poxy West Ham could never sell out But come the match day There'll be at least 50 k Shouting for the Hammers no doubt At Stratford there'll be jubilant scenes While the yids will be in Milton Keynes"

[joe blob]

"Ha ha ha ha Cosmo With 3 games to go who'd have thought The top 4 was still being sought And I'd say (without effing), Diabolical reffing, May reduce all our efforts to nought. Our new stadium, The jealous did spout Poxy West Ham could never sell out."