New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[joe blob]

"There was a strange fellow called DeFoe who wanted to put on a show, But he got castaway With his man Friday Who every week gave him a blow . I saw a lady of perfection Who gave a throbbing erection"

[keddy]

"If here's one thing I like very much, It''s a girl with a dense hairy crutch But a comb is needed as it's dense and seeded with grass, twigs, bits of leaves and such"

[keddy]

"A sergeant, whilst out on parade Was offered the chance to get laid When he first touched her Bristol she ignored his small pistol and said 'At ease you've not paid' There was a strange fellow called DeFoe who wanted to put on a show"

[Saul Bollox]

"A sergeant, whilst out on parade Was offered the chance to get laid A civilian chick, Said show us your dick And went AWOL from his brigade. If here's one thing I like very much, It''s a girl with a dense hairy crutch"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"And old Jap from Kitakami. Had a black belt in oregami The secret, I'm told Is in the first fold Like making your bed in the Army. A sergeant, whilst out on parade Was offered the chance to get laid"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"And old Jap from Kitakami. Had a black belt in oregami The secret, I'm told Is in the first fold Like making your bed in the Army. A sergeant, whilst out on parade Was offered the chance to get laid"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old fella named AP who pulled a big bird called baby But the stench from her prat And it's surrounding fat, Made him put on his jacket and flee. And old Jap from Kitakami. Had a black belt in oregami"

[keddy]

Michael Jackson started to wince As the pearly's were opened for prince He said you're too small No where near Off the Wall Ever posing and you walk with a mince There was an old fella named AP who pulled a big bird called baby

[HairyHammer]

If Manure lift the cup in May For football it will be a sad day Money maketh the team And forever its been So their rivals must be godly and prey. Michael Jackson started to wince As the pearly's were opened for prince

[Saul Bollox]

"Everton are a team of old duds When losing they show all their studs, Now I have concluded, Their fans are deluded, They're the northern version of spuds. If Manure lift the cup in May, For football it will be a sad day"

[Helmut Shown]

"As a teen wanking was so much fun, Until I got caught by my old mum. When disturbed some folks On the vinegar strokes Have to cover eyehole with their thumb Everton are a team of old duds When loosing they show all their studs"

[Saul Bollox]

"Hahahahahahahha! Whilst fucking a gerbil one night An actor developed stage fright He caused an outrage Walking onto the stage, Gerbil still on his knob, what a sight. As a teen wanking was so much fun, Until I got caught by my old mum."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A middle aged bloke from Teeside Introduced his mum to his Thai bride. ""She can cook and can clean,"" ""And is almost thirteen,"" ""So we get Child Support on the side"". Whilst fucking a gerbil one night An actor developed stage fright"

[joe blob]

"A taxi cab picked up a fare - A lady who's top bits were bare, She said with some passion: ""Tis the latest fashion And what do you think of my pair?"" A middle aged bloke from Teeside Introduced his mum to his Thai bride."

[Mike Oxsaw]

Does this season feel fruitless to you? Said a Hammer who was missing a clue When I look at the table I'm really unable To think what I'm seeing is true A taxi cab picked up a fare - A lady who's top bits were bare

[HairyHammer]

"In his surgery Doctor Jim, Stuck his knob in a lesbian's quim A painful tight squeeze And she wasn't much pleased With a scream gave his Willie a trim. Does this season feel fruitless to you? Said a Hammer who was missing a clue"

[Saul Bollox]

"""When you're in the southern hemisphere Do turds wind anticlockwise from your rear?"" He asked his Aussie chum, After having a bum Anally obsessed 'cos he's queer. In his surgery Doctor Jim, Stuck his knob in a lesbian's quim"

[Helmut Shown]

A WHO poster drove his white van Across France to Juan les Pins On return his cargo Faced a serious imbargo Migrants had buggered his plan When you're in the southern hemisphere Do turds wind anticlockwise from your rear?

[Saul Bollox]

An Entrepreneur from New York Invented a beer made from cork The bouquet was fine Smelled a bit like red wine And was brewed using scratchings of pork. A WHO poster drove his white van Across France to Juan les Pins

[Mike Oxsaw]

"No commemoration this year? For the poor Heysel dead, I fear The victims weren't red Is all that needs said There's nothing at all to see here An Entrepreneur from New York Invented a beer made from cork"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Welshman a poet of note, Paid a prostitute for a deep throat The old Celtic bard Was no longer hard So he got up and put on his coat No commemoration this year? For the poor Heysel dead, I fear"

[Saul Bollox]

"An Irishman said ""To be sure"" When I asked him if he had a cure, For all the kitchen flies He said to my surprise: ""You can shit on the living room floor"". A Welshman a poet of note, Paid a prostitute for a deep throat"

[HairyHammer]

"The season is nearing it's end As summer comes round, we will spend, We need players who shine And Worth more than a dime, Lets hope were not sent round the bend. An Irishman said ""To be sure"" When I asked him if he had a cure,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old fella called Hearn who asked me 'how much do you earn' I said in a tick ""A sum Olympic"" ""So much, I've got money to burn"" The season is nearing it's end As summer comes round, we will spend"

[keddy]

"We get one penalty then two more Have the refs been told ""Even the score Even Lawro's complaining at West Ham's downgrading to 6th instead of top four There was an old fella called Hearn who asked me 'how much do you earn'"