New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"That square headed cսnt Robert Huth Gets away with murder in truth, This unsportsmanlike bloke Just the same when at stoke He's German, dirty and uncouth. We get one penalty then two more Have the refs been told ""Even the score""."

[Saul Bollox]

"That square headed cսnt Robert Huth Gets away with murder in truth, This unsportsmanlike bloke Just the same when at stoke He's German, dirty and uncouth. We get one penalty then two more Have the refs been told ""Even the score""."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a bargain basement stripper Who was one hell of a fart ripper A bent over pose Without any clothes Filled the room with the smell of old kipper That square headed cսnt Robert Huth Gets away with murder in truth

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young lady called Roxy, The lips of whose vulva were poxy All covered in scabs Plus pubes full of crabs Yet she still thought herself foxy There was a bargain basement stripper Who was one hell of a fart ripper"

[Saul Bollox]

"Going down on this girl was scary Don't think I've seen something so hairy, I parted with my fingers, Then did cunnilingus, In the bog on a cross channel ferry. There was a young lady called Roxy, The lips of whose vulva were poxy"

[Far East Hammer]

"An Indian lady called Nandi, Was lying in bed feeling randy It wasn't a con She'd go with a John For just a small pack of candy Going down on this girl was scary Don't think I've seen something so hairy"

[Saul Bollox]

"Mother Superior's face went red When checking behind the school's bike shed Saw the Preist with a nun, Having some naughty fun And when seen the two of them fled. An Indian lady called Nandi, Was lying in bed feeling randy"

[Far East Hammer]

"To the stock room I went with Miss Brown, Who started to take her knickers down. She prove herself much abler Whilst bent over a stapler As the two of us went to town Mother Superior's face went red When checking behind the school's bike shed"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man called Louis Whose finger went through now its pooey But he said: ""I dont think, It's the usual shit stink- In fact it smells just like chop suey."" To the stock room I went with Miss Brown, Who started to take her knickers down."

[Helmut Shown]

"Said a Glaswegian bloke called Bobby: ""I'm aaf tae the bogs far a jobbie This disna make sense Ah've spent twenty pence No shite but an arsehole all throbby"" There was a young man called Louis Whose finger went through now its pooey"

[joe blob]

"A young lady from Polynesia Had a very bad case of amnesia we've been taking flak We need a right back So we should be putting in bids. Said a Glaswegian bloke called Bobby: ""I'm aaf tae the bogs far a jobbie"""

[Helmut Shown]

"A young market gard'ner from Harrow, Like showing the girls his prize marrow For his obscene display He was taken away His allotment went under the farrow Our European dream hit the skids And now we've let in the yids"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady from Polynesia Had a very bad case of amnesia She knew all the rules And the Limerick tools But had a very bad case of amnesia. The maypole is, holding up well As, round it the villagers dwell"

[joe blob]

"A young lady from Polynesia Had a very bad case of amnesia She completely forgot To water her plot, On which she grew lupins and fresia. A young market gard'ner from Harrow, Like showing the girls his prize marrow"

[Helmut Shown]

A lady who needed badly to go In a busy high street felt a flow The contents of a keg Ran down her right leg And dripped into the gutter off her toe A young lady from Polynesia Had a very bad case of amnesia

[HairyHammer]

A former investment banker Became a ref - a bigger wanker Like the collapse of a bank His decisions always stank And every fan toward him felt rancour. A lady who needed badly to go In a busy high street felt a flow

[Far East Hammer]

"A foolish man tried to dance to a tune At best he looked like a baboon, Worse than Mr Bean A right old has-been A plonker who thought himself a right loon A former investment banker Became a ref - a bigger wanker"

[HairyHammer]

"There was an old general from Thrace, Who farted in a young lads face From the stink the lad fainted And awoke feeling tainted Locked tight in the generals embrace. A foolish man tried to dance to a tune At best he looked like a baboon,"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst cooking for dinner a stew I farted and then followed through The foul smelling dregs, Ran all down my legs, And most ended up in my shoe. There was an old General from Thrace, Who farted in a young lad's face."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, In concert let off a loud fart. The odious ripper Knocked out the guest stripper And that, my good friends, is high art Whilst cooking for dinner a stew I farted and then followed through"

[Saul Bollox]

"A Doctor who loved to sniff feet Of the women patients he'd meet, Appetites were unsated, He'd get so frustrated, Then home to the wife, whom he's beat. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, In concert let off a loud fart."

[HairyHammer]

"A Pettomane farted the tune, By the light of the silvery moon Though when he went high, He crapped down his thigh Cursing his love of stewed prunes. A Doctor who loved to sniff feet Of the women patients he'd meet,"

[HairyHammer]

"A Pettomane farted the tune, By the light of the silvery moon Though when he went high, He crapped down his thigh Cursing his love of stewed prunes. A Doctor who loved to sniff feet Of the women patients he'd meet,"

[Saul Bollox]

"The people of Tyne and Wear Will see championship football next year For the bosses the sack But they will be back, Like a bad dose of herpes, I fear. A Pettomane farted the tune, By the Light of the Silvery Moon"

[Helmut Shown]

A cheerful old man from Ealing Found women's Knickers appealing. When at an old whore's The feel of silk drawers Made him shoot all over the ceiling The people of Tyne and Wear Will see championship football next year